


The Other Shoe

by DangerousCommieSubversive



Series: Our Bright, Disturbing Multiverse [9]
Category: DCU, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Teen Titans, The Avengers (2012), Young Avengers
Genre: Betrayal, Dimension Travel, F/M, Greek Mythology - Freeform, Loki Does What He Wants, M/M, Manipulation, Multi, Multiverse, Threesome - M/M/M, World Domination, Xanatos Gambits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-14
Updated: 2014-01-27
Packaged: 2017-12-05 07:58:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 44,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/720690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DangerousCommieSubversive/pseuds/DangerousCommieSubversive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For a long time now, Loki has been more in the background of the battle between good and evil than at its forefront. He watches, he waits, and he bides his time. But now, following the Avengers' half-catastrophic adventure to the DC Universe, the barriers between dimensions have been irreparably weakened. And when a stranger arrives at Loki's door with grudges of his own to settle against the world's heroes, he sets events in motion that may have been brewing for quite a while.</p><p>What happens when Loki calls in his favors?</p><p>Is the other shoe <em>finally</em> dropping?</p><p>Is this going to go well for <em>anyone?</em></p><p>Stay tuned and find out!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: Little Claw

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, everyone!
> 
> So this story's been ages in the making, and it's not finished yet. I have a fair amount of buffer--several chapters of it--but it won't update at the rapid daily or every-two-days clip of some of my other work. Please do bear with me; this'll be one hell of a ride! It's also not fully tagged yet, because some of the tags would, at this point, be spoilers. I will tag further as people and pairings appear; keep an eye out!
> 
> Also, do note that while this does have an "Explicit" rating, it's not at all consistent throughout. Most of it doesn't rate more than "Teen," but there _are_ a couple of sex scenes, some more graphic than others.
> 
> Welcome back to the Multiverse, everyone! I'm glad to be back!

They had found him late in the evening, when he'd been enjoying a free dinner in the company of a very rich, very stupid woman. Daken wasn't sure who they were—Romulus' people? Osborn's? The other false Avengers he'd betrayed? Employees of one of the many groups he'd managed to piss off?—but did it matter? They'd interrupted his meal.

His meal ticket was dead almost immediately, but then, so were two of his attackers, and he hadn't liked her very much in the first place. Despite that, though, he found himself outnumbered by a wide margin, and so after a brief fight he ran, and they chased him. His arms still hurt from where he'd been...violated. He wasn't quite feeling himself.

After a chase of what could have been twenty minutes or forty, Daken wasn't sure, he lost them and began looking for places to lie low. Clearly his hotel was out of the question, since his meal ticket had _also_ been his haven for the night, but it was too late to simply go knocking on doors. Even with his powers in play he wouldn't be making any friends that way. It took a _lot_ to soothe the kind of irritation he'd cause by waking up strangers in the night, and frankly, he didn't have the energy.

He paused to take in his surroundings. This was a rich neighborhood; the houses were spaced far apart from one another, and many of them had fences of one kind or another, gates, manicured lawns with conveniently placed shrubbery for hiding in. Any one of these places would do.

He made a beeline for the one that smelled best.

\--

Daken woke in the morning, opened his eyes, and saw a fat, stately calico cat. It hissed at him. He considered hissing back.

“Prometheus!”

No, not the time to indulge himself—he had company. Apparently, from the light, whoever lived in this house got up early themselves or employed an early-rising gardener.

“Prometheus, what are you doing over here? I'm looking for fresh tomatoes, not a floral arrangement.”

Footsteps. He lowered his head to the ground again, shut his eyes, and feigned sleep, breathing in deeply through his nose.

The person approaching was male, comparatively young, probably gay—he smelled strongly of another man—and fairly calm. His scent also had a strange tinge to it, a hint of something that made the back of Daken's mouth taste of ice and metal. “Did you find a dead bird or—no, you found me an unconscious Japanese supermodel. That was...thoughtful of you.” The footsteps stopped very close to his head, and he felt the air move as the speaking man crouched down next to him. Then he heard a hiss, not the aggressive sound the cat's had been but a noise of shock and pity. “...oh, you poor thing.”

It occurred to him that he _was_ covered in blood. Most of it belonged to other people, but he probably looked a sight.

Gentle hands lifted one of his arms, fingers resting on his wrist to check his pulse (another hiss as they brushed his scars). Then, a new sensation, something that felt like a wave sweeping over him, almost a caress but without any physical component. “Oh, that _is_ interesting.”

The man smelled of surprise now, and curiousity, and maybe a little desire, and still that foreign back-of-the-throat tang.

Daken let his eyes flutter open, coughed, and released a puff of pheromones, just enough to stave off any belated fear or anger on the stranger's part. “Mm...”

Looming over him was a bathrobe-clad man with multi-colored hair falling into eyes that seemed to oscillate constantly between a very ordinary brown and emerald green. He was smiling, and there was something naggingly familiar about him. He had heavily pierced ears, so it could have been that he looked a bit like the Young Avenger, Hulkling, but...no. That wasn't it. It was something else. “Hey there, Sleeping Beauty. How're you feeling?”

“I'm hungry.” He tried to get a balance of signals, pitiful but not weak, injured and slightly needy but not helpless.

The man regarded him for a moment before saying, “You are _delicious,_ is what you are.” He helped Daken up. “Come on in and let me feed you.”

“Mm.”

He let himself be helped up the garden path and through the kitchen door, the cat trotting along behind them. As they entered the house his companion yelled, “Hey, hot stuff! I found something interesting in the garden!”

“What is it?” The voice was coming from the next room, presumably the dining room. “...I smell something canine. If the Whitakers have been letting their mutt wander into our yard again I'm going to turn them all into squirrels, I don't care what you say.”

“No, it's something fun! For us!”

“Bobby, have you finally given into your instincts completely and brought home a stray dog?” The floor creaked, and then another robe-clad man appeared in the doorway. This one Daken _definitely_ recognized, from files and videos if nothing else. He peered at Daken, one eyebrow lifting slowly. “No, I see you've brought home a stray Wolverine. I'm not sure if that's better or worse.”

Daken stiffened in spite of himself. “My name is—”

“I know what your name is.”

“Well, _I_ don't.” The man with the multi-colored hair let go of him and started getting things out of the refrigerator. “I assume you're staying for breakfast, though. I'm Simon.”

Daken blinked, feeling slightly off-balance. Not being in control of the situation was unpleasant, to say the least. “Breakfast would be nice. My name is Daken.”

“Or Akihiro. Son of our old friend Logan and a woman called Itsu, protege to Romulus, and many other things besides. A killer, a liar, a seducer, and a scoundrel. You remember that team of fake Avengers, not long ago? He was their false Wolverine.”

Simon grinned. “Sounds fun.”

The man in the doorway nodded. “Isn't it? And _you_ know _my_ name as well as I know yours. Welcome to the house of Loki, little claw. Now go sit down in the dining room while I talk to my priest, and I'll be with you presently.”

Daken bristled at the lazy air of command, the thoughtless authority of what Loki had just said, but the air was thick with the smell of something that he didn't recognize, some power he'd never encountered before. So he shrugged, trying for the faint smile he always used when he wanted to let someone else know that he was _completely_ in control of the situation even if in reality he wasn't, and did as he'd been told. _Priest. So Simon is the infamous Discord, head of the Church of Loki. I wouldn't have expected him to be so...friendly._ He took a seat at the table across from the one Loki had apparently been occupying, if the location of the full coffee pot and tablet were anything to go by.

He could still hear them speaking in the kitchen, and when he pushed his chair back a bit he found that he could see them as well. Simon stood at the prep island, chopping ingredients, and Loki stood behind him, one hand curled around the smaller man's midsection in a gesture that stank of ownership. “It seems that your spell has brought us a treat far beyond what I was expecting. What exactly did you set it for, when you cast it?”

“I asked for something to help you accomplish what you were working on. I didn't specify beyond that. The omens were inauspicious for detailed requests.”

“And fate brought us the fine young killer currently waiting in the next room. Fascinating. There are all _manner_ of uses we could put him to, but I'm not sure how he might fit into my actual plans. I'm sure I'll think of _something_ to do with him.”

“You always do. Pervert.” Simon tilted his head back to meet Loki's eyes and receive a kiss, and Daken saw that the kiss, too, was an act of possession. The chains that bound man and god were powerful indeed. “He's watching us, you know. He's heard every word you just said.”

“Of course I know, beloved. That was my intent.” Loki kissed Simon again, but mid-kiss he opened his eyes, shifted slightly so that his gaze locked with Daken's, and winked.

Daken suddenly felt very out of his depth. He didn't like it.

When Loki came back into the dining room he sat down across from Daken, looking unnervingly pleased. He had a heady smell, unlike anything Daken had encountered before—power and blood, man and _wolf_ and a strange honey-sweet that was probably Asgardian, backed with something vast and Arctic, the thing of which Simon's icey bite was a pale reflection. It made the skin on the back of Daken's neck prickle uncomfortably. A feral part of his brain hissed, not knowing whether to run or attack or simply show throat and accept that he was outmatched here for power. It rankled. He resisted the urge to snarl—he was _better_ than that, _more_ than his hindbrain and his animal nature.

“I hope most of that is from others.”

Daken blinked and looked down at his bloodstained clothes. “Almost all of it, in fact.”

Loki nodded approvingly as he picked up his tablet. “Good. After breakfast you will wash. There should be clothes to fit you.”

 _Will_ rankled as well. He schooled his face to stillness and said, “Thank you.”

“Not at all, little claw.”

“If you know my name then why don't you use it?”

“If I wish to insult you, little claw, then I will use a term of my own devising, and it will concern something besides your ancestry.” Loki looked up at him over the edge of his tablet. “Unless you would prefer Akihiro?”

“Not especially.”

“Well, then.” The god gestured, and a coffee mug appeared on the table. “Have some coffee, and Bobby will be in with breakfast very soon.”

Daken peered at the mug, curious in spite of himself. “I'm not sure I want to drink from something you made.”

“I didn't make it. I summoned it from the kitchen. Have some coffee.”

The coffee was strong and sweet—too sweet for Daken, who preferred tea, but he enjoyed the caffeine boost. Loki ignored him, reading the news on his tablet with a focus that seemed unstudied. It was...bizarre. _Nobody_ ignored him except at their own peril, and most found him a little _too_ interesting, even when he wasn't encouraging it.

Perhaps, he thought, Loki was trying to make a point. It _was_ his house, and Daken had arrived there uninvited—unless what he'd overheard about Simon's spell was true, and he was still skeptical of magic. Nothing he'd seen so far was out of the range of mutant powers. But if it _was_ true, then circumstances truly _were_ out of his control. That was unusual. In fact it offended him.

He found that he was gritting his teeth and took a deep breath, forcing his muscles to relax. A glance at Loki showed the god serenely oblivious to his discomfort.

“Breakfast, kids!” Simon strolled into the dining room, a plate in each hand, a third floating near his left shoulder. He'd discarded his robe at some point, and Daken was surprised to see that above his sleep pants his entire torso crawled with moving knotwork tattoos. Only his hands and face were untouched. Daken wondered idly what he'd see if the pants came off.

“Thank you, _runi,_ that looks delicious.” The unfamiliar word was a caress in Loki's voice. “How fares the church?”

Simon handed Loki and Daken plates of fragrant eggs and meat and then, oddly, twisted around to look at an angular, almost fractal cluster of knotwork on one hip. “Well, the kids at MIT have some good plans going. Even more inventive than last year. And...” he glanced at his left forearm. “Rioting in Madripoor. Those photos I posted _really_ set them off. And _ooh,_ ” as another cluster of knotwork writhed and burst, sending rays outward over his stomach, “major mass-transit disruption in Moscow, with collateral damage. Chameleon set off a bomb. I _knew_ he loved me.”

“Or perhaps he's simply interested in the power he thinks you might offer him if you ever stopped leading him on.”

“He's fun to mess with.” Simon summoned a coffee mug and served himself from Loki's pot. “And I told him last time I saw him that if he _really_ loved me he'd set off a bomb in a major metropolitan area, and he has.”

“I see. Meaning that he _must_ be besotted with you, because he never has ulterior motives or lies about his reasons for things.”

“Oh, hush, spoilsport. More coffee, Daken?”

Daken nodded. “Please.”

“Here.” Simon refilled his mug. “Anyway it's a good day for the church. I may make a quick trip stateside this afternoon to give the kids at MIT a little encouragement.”

“They're engineering students, beloved. I don't think they need your encouragement to make a mess.”

“ _True,_ but if I go say hi then it might be _messier,_ and you _know_ how sweet the physics kids are. Cuddly little chaos nerds, the lot of them. Like puppies, but with access to dangerous radioactive materials. So.” The priest swung in his chair to look at Daken, who noted that he'd managed to empty half of his plate already despite talking non-stop. The frittata _was_ very good. “Cutie. Whose blood is all over your Tom Ford?”

Thinking back on it, Daken realized that he hadn't seen any clear insignia, or heard any recognizable slogans. “You know, I'm not sure. People look so similar when they're busy trying to keep their intestines in.”

“That _is_ a true fact. And not even the point, I'm actually asking because you're going to throw out that outfit anyway and you're giving me _urges._ ”

“Urges?”

“Fashion design. How would you like to be the new face of a generation?” Before Daken could respond to _that_ strange question, Simon glanced at the clock and scowled. “Answer that this evening. If I don't scramble I'll be late for my last day and that'd be bad. Lazy. I _do_ want to go back after my sabbatical, after all.”

The sight of Simon flitting around in a hurry, arguing with himself about clothing and forgetting where he'd left things, was a bit difficult for Daken to reconcile with the images he'd seen of Discord on television. _This butterfly is the man who levitated the Pentagon, stole the_ Birth of Venus _and replaced it with a nude of Loki, and blew up half of Nashville on a whim? He's very—_

“I know,” said Loki, finally setting down his tablet. “It's a bit disappointing, isn't it? He's so much more... _forceful_ as Discord. Still, if he didn't have his uses, I wouldn't have kidnapped him in the first place.”

Simon darted into the room, babbled a slightly incoherent good-bye, kissed Loki, and then vanished into thin air. Daken smirked. “I'm sure he's _very_ useful.” _For keeping the bed warm, if nothing else._ “Was his tongue pierced when you got him, or did you do it yourself?”

“Don't let your hands stray unasked, little claw, or I'll turn you inside out.” Loki's tone was mild, but when Daken glanced he saw that despite the calm expression, the god's eyes burned with an unnervingly quiet fury.

Safety was a blank look. “Your accusations wound me.”

“If I had meant to wound you, little claw, you would lie crumpled and bleeding on the floor, and all the powers in the world could not heal you. I command forces the likes of which you cannot grasp. Do you so much as pass my property too closely without my permission and I will bring them all to bear on you.”

Still, Daken noted, the mild tone, the languid-bored expression accompanying the threat. It was almost like being back in Japan. “You're awfully touchy.”

“I don't like other people playing with my things, and you strike me as the kind of man who breaks his toys.”

“What a charming way of putting it.”

There was a contemplative pause, and then Loki said, in a tone weirdly lacking any previous animosity, “Go wash, little claw. The bathroom is upstairs. Meet me in the library once you're clean.”

“And if I don't want to?”

“Don't want to wash? Are you _so_ like your father? I don't especially relish the prospect of bathing you forcibly, but I'll do it if I have to. You are filthy, and you smell of mulch.” Abruptly Loki stood and began heading out of the dining room. As he passed, he trailed his fingers lightly along Daken's shoulders, and the hair stood up on the back of Daken's neck. “Do take your time.”

Quietly infuriated and yet achingly curious, Daken went upstairs to the bathroom, and found that a fresh towel was already waiting for him there. It was when he shut the door and discovered clean clothes hung on the back of it—shirt, trousers, and vest, all in his size, in colors he liked—that he finally gave up. If Loki and his flighty adjunct wanted to indulge themselves by treating him like some kind of pet, he'd humor them. His plans could be put on hold for a day, and it _was_ a very nice outfit.

He took a leisurely shower, standing under the stream until the water no longer ran dark with blood and dirt. Only once he'd sloughed off all the gore of the previous night did he bother to wash his hair, with shampoo that smelled powerfully of apples. His dirty clothes were gone when he got out of the shower.

Once he was dressed he left the bathroom and found himself taking a path that he hadn't planned. Undirected by his brain, his feet led him unerringly down the second-floor hall to a door made of dark wood, which swung open when he approached, revealing...

...a library. A vast library, larger than seemed reasonable given the size of the house on the outside (and perhaps it was, Daken was becoming increasingly willing to give magic some credence). It was three stories tall, as tall as the house, with walkways around the second and third levels and ladders every few bookcases to reach the higher shelves. He stepped in and onto the walkway, and the door closed behind him—there was even a small shelf installed on the back of it. The room smelled of paper and ice and contemplation and a sort of odd honey-and-pepper smell that he was beginning to suspect was the smell of magic.

Loki was waiting on the lower level, reading while slouched in a vast armchair. He looked up as Daken came down the stairs from the second-floor walkway. “You look much better clean.”

“These are good clothes.”

“Yes, you've managed to excite Bobby about fashion again. He put out the one capsule collection years ago, but since then he hasn't really found a model he liked. I have been waiting for you.”

“And what would you have done if I hadn't come?”

“What an absurd notion. Of course you were coming.”

“I could have just left.”

“It's possible, I suppose, but unlikely.” At Daken's raised eyebrow Loki smiled. “Does the dog not bow when it faces the wolf, little claw? I'll speak in animal analogies because I suspect you'll prefer them. Does the shrike not cower before the hawk? There was no question of you leaving.” In Loki's voice was an angry-sweet purr that Daken knew well, having heard it from Romulus many times and used it in his own right often enough. “You may be a force to be reckoned with in your own circles, but compared to my tiger, little claw, _you_ are a house cat.”

Daken resisted the urge to grimace or bristle. “A—”

“Fortunately for you, I _like_ cats, and so does Bobby.” The purr was gone. Loki stood, closing his book. “And you have traits that I appreciate. You're more entertaining than the common run of my people.”

“ _Your_ people. Hm.”

“I'm a god of liars and frauds, little claw. Would you like to know what I see?”

“Go ahead.”

“In Shanghai right now an eleven year old girl is preparing to steal a Swiss watch from a jewelry shop while pretending to be starving. In Barcelona a forty-three year old carpenter is in a sidewalk cafe, telling a woman he's never met before that he is unmarried. Deadpool has just exposed himself to a bus full of nuns in Toronto— _he_ at least knows I'm paying attention.” Loki was pacing now, his slow tread describing a circle around where Daken stood. “And _you_ told the woman who bought you dinner last night that you were a student and had been robbed of your passport, and _she_ told _you_ that she was in town on business and hadn't been looking for a date. Both lies. In fact, you're lying to me right now.”

“Am I?”

“I've offended you. I've also piqued your interest, but you don't wish me to know either thing, so you're very carefully maintaining a posture that should, ideally, suggest a certain amused indifference. You're also sending out a pheromone signal intended to make me think you more intimidating than you truly are, which is a power that most don't know you have and which you have gone to some lengths to conceal.” Daken again had to resist the temptation to go tense, or to attack, as Loki brushed close behind him in his pacing, and then leaned in to whisper, “I know you better than most, little claw, because you lie and scheme and trick, and you do it well.” His breath on Daken's ear wasn't human-hot, but cold, a puff of icy air. “You may not bow to me—and I would think rather less of you if you did—but you are still one of my people.”

Finally Daken shuddered a bit in spite of himself, clenching his fists to keep his claws in. There was a sharp pain in the scars on his arms as he tried to extend what wasn't there anymore. “You're more powerful than the other Asgardians.”

“By several orders of magnitude at this point. They've never really learned how to take advantage of opportunities when they present themselves. Here.” Loki handed Daken the book that he'd been reading. “Read.”

Daken looked at the book he'd been handed. It was slim and tall, with a glossy cover—a comic book. With _his_ face on the front. “What is this?”

“Your education, little claw.” Loki patted him on the shoulder. “Read. I will call you for lunch.” And he left.

Feeling deeply off-balance, Daken stared at the book for another moment and then moved to stretch out on the couch nearby and began to read.

When he'd finished the comic he went to put it away and found a bookcase full of them. He grabbed the next that looked interesting and sat down to read more.

And he read, and read, and read.

\--

Simon didn't get back to the house until half past ten that night, stumbling in through the front door with scorch marks all over his suit and what looked like soot in his hair. He nearly fell as he was trying to take off his shoes, only saved from an undignified landing on the floor by Loki's arm around his shoulders. Loki frowned. “What happened to you? What took so long?”

“Oh, you know, I got everything finished up at the school, and then they'd thrown a surprise party for me with a cake, which was really sweet. So I stayed for that. And then I popped over to MIT, like I said I might, and I had a nice chat with the kids, but then it turned out that Tony was on campus giving some kind of speech and things got a little out of hand. And then Johnny Storm turned up, and he's still pissy about me tranqing him when we were in Wakanda.” Simon shrugged off his suit jacket and waved to Daken, who had emerged from the library when he heard the front door open. “Hey again, Daken. That outfit _does_ suit you. You know Tony, right?”

Daken raised an eyebrow. “Stark? I haven't had the pleasure, no.”

“He's _adorable._ Although he'd be a little more fun if he'd get his good-guy stick out of his ass and come play with me. I stole one of his arc reactors once.” Simon leaned into Loki's hold as he toed off his shoes. “I'm _exhausted._ What are we eating tonight?”

Loki ordered them a vast quantity of food and flirted with the delivery girl so pleasantly that she left without realizing that he'd never paid her.

They, Simon and Loki, seemed to live in a world of constant touch. For someone so famed for _talking_ his way in and out of problems, Loki was surprisingly hands-on in person, as if secretly convinced that everything around him would disappear otherwise. And Simon, being an artist of the exuberantly life-addicted variety, was both completely lacking in a personal bubble and obsessed with the substance of things—he turned things over in his hands and leaned in close to people, apparently needing to handle a thing to apprehend it fully. The two were always touching each other, and the interaction extended to Daken as if he'd always been there. It wasn't necessarily sexual, but it was all intensely intimate. Fingers brushed whenever anything was passed from one person to another. Shoulders bumped together. Simon accompanied all of his (frequent) laughter with a hand on wrist or forearm, as if humor was amplified by physical contact, and even when not trying to intimidate anyone Loki moved with a feudal indifference to the personal space of others, his instinct to rule so deeply ingrained that it would neer occur to him that his closeness might not be welcome.

They _liked_ him. Loki had shown him that they knew who he was—a killer, a liar, amoral, cruel, irredeemable and unrepentant—and they _liked_ him. They _enjoyed his company._ That wasn't normally how it worked. It was strange to feel so _wanted._

 _They_ were trying to seduce _him._ Not even through anything overtly sexual—their conversation was full of innuendo and flirtation, but that was apparently how they _always_ spoke. There was simply, suddenly, an air of _welcome;_ Daken found himself being drawn into an argument about what to watch with dinner and pulled down to sit on the couch with them as if he were already a part of their lives. At midday Loki had made salmon fillets and cucumber salad and chatted pleasantly about current events as if he'd never previously suggested any intent to rip Daken in half. He'd found tea waiting for him in the library when he'd returned there, and the cat had come in and slept on the back of the couch after he'd gotten settled. It was all so easy to enjoy that he found himself wanting to distrust it, hunting for the catch and becoming increasingly frustrated when there didn't seem to be one. His instincts said that, inexplicably, this was a safe place to lie low and make his plans.

And then, of course, there were the comics, which he'd spent all day reading, working his way through Loki's massive collection—he hadn't finished them yet. His curiosity was getting the better of him.

“Shit, look at the time.”

Daken snapped out of his reverie. “Hm?”

Simon flapped a hand at the clock. “It's half past two in the morning, and I don't know what _you_ two were up to, but _I_ had to outrun Iron Man and the Human Torch today. We should go to bed.”

Loki shrugged on Simon's other side. “I suppose we should.”

There was a brief flurry of activity as dishes and takeout containers were cleared away, and they managed to get up to the second floor before Daken raised the logical problem. “Where do I sleep?”

Simon blinked. “Shit, right. I'm too tired to make a bed right now.”

“If you give me some sheets I'm perfectly capable of—”

Loki shook his head. “He's being literal. There are only as many beds in the house as we need at one time.”

Which was fascinating. “Why don't _you_ make one?”

“I don't create things, little claw.”

He looked around and saw another open door besides the one he'd already determined led the room that Simon and Loki shared. “ _This_ room has a bed in it.”

“No, no, you can't sleep in there, that's Billy's room. His stuff is in there. And Prometheus takes up pretty much the entire bed when he's not here, the room's _awash_ in cat hair.” As if to punctuate Simon's statement, the cat brushed by their feet and ghosted into the darkened room, leaping up onto the bed with a barely audible thump.

“Where, then?”

“Perhaps he could curl up on the foot of the bed like a dog.” Loki flashed him a faint smile, and Daken bristled sleepily, which brought an eye roll. “I think it should be fairly obvious that given our—certainly he cannot make his _own_ bed, _you_ are exhausted, and the couch would be inhospitable—the only actual debate is one of who sleeps in the middle.”

Simon rolled his eyes. “Just because _you're_ insatiable doesn't mean that _I'm_ going to make assumptions. Also how is that even a debate? _I'll_ take the middle, because otherwise you two will just get all pissy and alpha-male and _I_ actually want to _sleep_ right now. Assuming Daken doesn't _want_ to sleep on the couch. Do you, Daken?”

Obscurely surprised to be the subject of such a friendly argument, Daken shrugged. “Not especially.”

“Well, there we go. It's settled. I'm going to go brush my teeth.”

Not long after, Daken's speculations of the morning were resolved—the tattoos _did_ continue onto Simon's legs. They even touched his feet. His fell asleep watching knotwork twist and morph on the other man's back and wondering what chaos each transformation might portend.

\--

He woke suddenly from a vivid dream of kingship, sitting on a throne and laughing as before him all his enemies tried to reach him and were cut down, and couldn't for a moment remember where he was. It took a moment of quick assessment ( _soft bed, dark room, slim warm male body next to me_ ) before it came back to him: he was in Loki's house. More than that, he was in bed with Loki and Discord—definitely in the literal sense, and possibly in the conspiratorial sense as well, but they hadn't yet told him what they wanted with him. It wasn't apparently sex, or at least wasn't _just_ sex, since they'd all fallen into bed without any activity of the kind, Simon falling asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow. It was a distinctly medieval arrangement, offering a guest use of one's own bed but not vacating it personally. Perhaps it was simply Loki's idea of hospitality, if he went off more of an ancient Norse model, and especially given his...comments about what he'd do if Daken got too friendly.

Now, though, Daken was awake, and besides him Simon was stirring. He shifted, and the other man made a small noise and then rolled over, wrapping an arm around him. “Mm.”

He stifled a yawn and responded in kind with, “Mm?”

 _“Mm.”_ Lips met his, a tongue licking briefly into his mouth, and then Simon said, very quietly, “You're so _warm._ It's been _ages_ since I kissed someone so warm.”

“I'm told my body temperature is slightly higher than average.”

“Works for me. Let's try that again.” Another kiss, this time accompanied by a hand sliding down his side and coming to rest on his hip. “Still warm. Very nice.”

In response Daken reached up to grip Simon's hair, pressing forward and biting his lip in a way that drew a gasp. It was almost nice to do this without using pheromones, or no more than was reflexive.

“ _Hey_ there.” The hand on his hip slid lower, and in the dim moonlight leaking in through the bedroom window he saw Simon lick his lips. “Well, _you're_ certainly awake. Would you like me to—”

He gripped the other man's hair tighter, took another kiss, and then there was a moment of slightly confused movement as they shifted positions in the bed and Simon lapped at the hollow of his throat in a way that made him tense for a fight, but then relaxed as the mouth continued down over his chest and stomach. A hot, wet breath on his cock, a slow lick from root to tip, and then Simon swallowed him, sucking hard.

He tried not to let his senses get dulled by the sensation of a mouth on his cock, but was still surprised when he felt a cool touch on the back of his shoulder, and then Loki said in his ear, “I see you're both awake.”

“Yes,” he said, making it _not_ a gasp. “Where were you?”

“Right here. You didn't ask permission.” Said without rancor as those cold arms slid around him from behind, one hand resting on his stomach while the other disentangled his grip on Simon's hair. “But you're a fine sight like this, and in any case I have a proposition for you.”

“Aren't we a little past that point?”

Simon laughed around his cock and he jolted, back arching so that his shoulders pressed against Loki's chest.

“A second one, then. Let me taste you first.”

Loki's mouth was colder and tasted of ice and honey, his kiss somehow simultaneously imperial and intimate, and there was another confused moment of repositioning that ended with Daken straddling the god's lap back to chest, Simon's mouth on his cock and hands on his hips, one of _Loki's_ hands in Simon's hair to hold him there. The fingers of his other hand stroked up Daken's forearm along the seam of the incision, and Daken twitched as he fought the instinctive urge to release his claws.

“No, don't fight it.” Loki was purring, his erection pressing against Daken's ass. “Be naked, little claw. Show me your killer's heart.”

Spasmodically Daken unsheathed his claws, plunging them into the mattress at his sides. “Is that what you wanted?”

“ _Yes._ I want _all_ of you.” Cool fingers caressed the backs of his hands where the claws emerged, the feeling bizarrely sensual even in the midst of all this stimulation. “Let me have you and I'll give you the whole world.”

He ground his ass back against Loki's cock, as hard as it was to move backward instead of thrusting ahead into the hot mouth on him. “I hope you don't want me to be your _Wolverine._ ”

“If I wanted Wolverine I'd get Wolverine. I want _you,_ little claw.” Loki's hands trailed down to where his claws pierced the mattress. “You have so much more to _offer._ You'll know what to _do_ with the world.”

He ground his teeth, thinking of the power he could gain from this, the things that he could accomplish. How _angry_ his father would be. “ _Yes..._ ”

Simon's hands left his hips, one reaching around to spread him open while the other lifted for a moment—a spark of green light—and then reached between his legs. Slick fingers slid into his ass, stretching him, pressing against his prostrate for a moment accompanied by a mischievous hum that made him shudder at the vibration. One of those cool hands was at his throat, tilting his head back, tongue licking at his jugular while Simon guided Loki's cock inside him.

Then Daken was truly caught between them, priest again gripping his hips for support as god thrust into him and forced him deeper into that mouth. His claws were still entangled in the mattress, and he pulled them free only to stab them down again.

Loki laughed against his throat as he thrust. “What is it that you desire most in the world, little claw?”

Daken sucked in a sharp breath and gasped, “My father's head on a platter.”

“A worthy goal. Gold, I assume.” Another _thrust,_ carefully angled to strike—

“I prefer silver.”

“Done, then. Join with me and you will have it, platter and all.”

Daken tensed and came explosively down Simon's throat, moaning as he felt the other man swallow and then pull back.

Now Loki pressed him forward, moving him onto his hands and knees, and Daken filled his own mouth with Simon's cock, covered with twists of shifting knotwork in the dim light.

A kiss between his shoulderblades, where a knife might go. “This is a job offer, little claw. A storm is coming, and great things are at stake.”

“And we like you.” Simon's fingers stroked through his hair. “We want you on our side.”

They kissed over him. _I wonder if Loki likes the taste of my come on his man's tongue._ He sucked hard, and somehow in response to Simon's twitch _Loki_ thrust. “What is your verdict, little claw? Do you want to be king of the world?”

He considered it, thought of what he knew of them and what he'd _seen_ of them and what his instincts and his intellect were telling them and they _were not lying._ Mad, perhaps, but not lying. Whatever they were doing, they wanted his help with it. They would give him the world to trample under his feet.

He would not be _used,_ though. He could find a way to turn all this to an advantage over them. Clearly there were things they weren't telling him, but then, he wasn't telling them everything either. Where was the fun in openness?

He hummed his assent.

Man and god jerked and came in tandem, filling him at both ends, and when they had pulled out he found himself lying between them on the bed, their arms wrapped around him as they also embraced each other.

Simon pulled the covers up with magic—so much magic in this house, to do so little—and rested his chin on top of Daken's head, his forehead against Loki's chest. “You're ours now, hot stuff.”

Daken shifted, rubbing at the backs of his hands. “When do we start conquering the world?”

“Tomorrow, little claw. We start tomorrow.” Loki traced the whorls of Daken's own tattoo with the tip of one finger. “I have some phone calls to make.”

And before they slept, they told him the plan.

\--

**And thus begins part one: Twelve Days On Olympus**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming up: Tony Stark gets an unexpected phone call!


	2. Debt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony Stark gets an early-morning phone call from an unloved old acquaintance, and the Avengers set out on a journey that may take far longer than they expect.

His phone was ringing. Why was his phone ringing? He tried to ignore it, but after a moment Pepper elbowed him, murmuring, “Answer the phone, Tony,” before rolling over and pulling a pillow over her head.

Groggily he scrabbled on the nightstand for his phone and thumbed the “answer call” marker. “Stark speaking. Do you know it's five in the morning?”

“Hello, Stark.” The voice on the other end of the line was unpleasantly familiar. “It's been a while.”

“ _Loki._ How do you keep getting my number?”

Pepper rolled back over and stared at him. “Did you just say _Loki?_ Why is he calling you?” In response Tony could only shrug.

On the other end of the line, Loki said, “I have ways. Consider it payback for the time you interrupted my vacation to Tahiti.”

He smirked. “I still have those pictures, you know.”

“I know. It makes Bobby very unhappy.” Said lightly, in the oddly joking tone that Loki often took up when he wasn't doing anything actively hostile.

“Too bad, so sad. Also that was _fifteen years ago._ I...I think. Not actually...clear on the time frame there.”

“Perhaps I just like to irritate you, Stark.”

At Pepper's nudging he finally asked, “What the hell do you want, Loki?”

“What I'm owed.” The joking tone was suddenly gone.

Tony frowned. “What?”

“The Avengers owe me a favor, if you recall. For piercing the dimensional barrier and making it possible for you to do your amusing trade-offs with the other world.”

 _Shit._ Tony had hoped that Loki had forgotten about that. But then, when did Loki ever forget about anything he was owed? “Yeah, I remember. What of it?”

“I want you to steal something.”

He groaned sleepily. “We're not robbing a bank for you, Loki.”

“What would I do with money?” Amused, again.

“True, true.” Next to him Pepper rolled her eyes—she could obviously hear some of what Loki was saying. “So what is it?”

“An artifact I desire.”

“We're not robbing a museum either.” He mimed cracking a bullwhip and adjusting a fedora, a la Indiana Jones, and Pepper stifled a giggle.

“It's not in a museum. Tell your consort to stop laughing at me.”

Pepper blinked and snapped her mouth shut, and Tony scowled. “Don't talk about her. So then where is it?”

“Olympus.”

Olympus? “...the mountain in Greece?”

On the other end of the line, a long sigh. “No, fool, the home of the Greek gods. A pocket dimension much like Asgard. Although one does _reach_ it by climbing the mountain.”

“Ok...” He glanced over at Pepper, who shrugged. “Next question, _what_ is it?”

“A laurel wreath, wrought in gold and set with precious stones.”

“Wait, a wreath? Like you hang up at Christmas? Well, not _you,_ obviously, but—”

“ _No,_ you ass. Must you always try to be clever? A wreath to _wear._ It's Zeus' crown.”

“I don't try to be clever, I am clever, and man, what it is with you and fancy hats? You don't really have a hat face.”

“I am _owed,_ Stark. I expended a great deal of energy on your behalf, with little gain to myself, and my priest weakened himself severely finding your destination. Word was given that I would be _repaid,_ favor for favor.”

“You know, they say if you need repayment then it's not a favor. What if I say no?”

“Then among other things my brother would think you a man of no honor and would never fight by your side again. You gave your word, on the behalf of your team. We of Asgard take that very seriously.” An exasperated noise. “The _wreath_ , Stark. The crown. Steal it for me. Take the core group at least, your original six; I don't care who else accompanies, but you six _must_ take part. I will provide you with further directions once you notify me that your team is assembled. I will expect word by tomorrow.” And the phone clicked off.

Tony stared at his phone, getting more and more angry until Pepper propped herself up on one elbow and said, “ _Tony._ What are you going to do?”

He stared at his phone for another second. “Well. I suppose we can live with having _another_ super-powerful alien race mad at us. I assume this'll piss off the Greek gods. I've never met them before. This is starting to get ridiculous, though. The Kree, the Skrulls, the Shi'ar...” To his phone, “Call Cap.” To Pepper again, “I'll see if I can get you a souvenir. Pandora's Box or something.”

“Tony, Pandora's Box was evil.”

The phone on the other end of the line was ringing. “Well, how should I know that? I did science in school, not Greek myth.”

Steve picked up his phone. “Tony?”

“Hey, honey, you miss me? How was gay Paree?”

“Tony, it's five in the morning and I have jet lag. What do you want?”

Tony pouted. “You don't love me anymore.” Pepper fell back against the pillows, laughing.

_“Tony...”_

“Ok, ok, I'll get to the point. So, remember how we promised Loki we'd do him a big favor in exchange for getting us in touch with the Justice League guys?”

There was a long pause, and then Steve said, faintly, “Well, hell.”

 

\--

 

The call went out, and the original six Avengers assembled at the Mansion early in the afternoon, none of them looking too pleased by the situation. Bruce arrived last. “I brought guests. You said we're apparently going to Olympus, so I thought—”

Thor beamed as Bruce's companions entered the room. “Diana! It has been some time!”

“Hey, Thor.” Diana—Wonder Woman—waved at him, and then at the others. “Bruce called me. I don't know if your Olympus is anything like mine, but I'm _always_ happy to tweak Zeus' nose. And I brought Zatanna with me. You've all met Zatanna Zatara, right? She's the finest magician the Justice League has to offer, and she hasn't been to your side of things in a while, so I thought you might appreciate her assistance.”

Tony grinned. “That's great! The witch doctor—Dr. Strange, that is—always gets touchy around other kinds of magic, and Wanda's a little too...off-center...right now for a big mission, after the whole hey-I-warped-the-universe-to-make-my-magic-babies-real thing. Glad to have you here, Zatanna.”

Zatanna was blushing vividly. She waved. “Thanks. Glad to be here. I was really just coming by to visit Bruce, but since you've got exciting things happening...”

Steve sighed. “Exciting probably isn't the word for it, Miss Zatara. Loki's involved. You haven't met him, have you?”

“I haven't had the pleasure, no.”

“Pleasure's not a word I'd use here either.”

“Let's get to the point.” Natasha had been sharpening one of her knives absently, feet up on the table, but now she swung her legs down into a more professional position. “Hi, Diana. Hi, Zatanna. Tony, what's this all about?”

Tony beamed at Steve. “Steve? You brokered the deal originally.”

Everyone turned to look at Steve. He blushed faintly. “Well, if you'll recall, when we first broke through into Diana's universe, it took a fair amount of power.”

The other Avengers, but for Tony, nodded. Diana and Zatanna took seats at the table.

“Well, I know that you _know_ this already, but we got a fair amount of assistance from Loki, both with locating the other universe and with punching through the dimensional barriers to get there.”

Clint nodded. “Yeah, we do know that. What was Loki getting out of that deal, anyway? It's not like _he_ gives two shits whether my kid lives or dies.”

“That's actually the issue at hand. When I was negotiating with Loki for his assistance, I didn't have anything to offer him that he was interested in, so he demanded a fairly large favor instead, to be called in at a later date.”

Thor choked on his sip of water. “And you _agreed_ to this? Captain, I am known to be unwise when it comes to matters of family, but even _I_ would not agree to do my brother an unspecified favor.”

“I didn't have anything else to bargain with. Wiccan even offered to go live with him again for a longer course of magical study, but he said no.”

Zatanna frowned. “How bad can it be? I'm not too familiar with Loki, I know, but—”

“He's almost destroyed the world on more than one occasion.”

Bruce buried his face in his hands. “I knew he was being too helpful. I knew it was too good to be true. What does he want us to do?”

“Steal Zeus' crown.” Tony had been tapping away on his phone while Steve talked, and now he looked up. “ _Us_ specifically, the original six. He says he doesn't care who else comes as long as it's us, though, so the ladies are of course welcome. He gave me a rough description of the thing, but he said he'd send us more info once we were all together. I'm sending him a text right now.”

He held up his phone so that they could all read the screen. [Avengers are assembled, asshole. Make it quick, we've got things we could be doing.] Once they'd all had a chance to take in the message, he hit “send.”

Diana looked amused. “Thank you for inviting me, Bruce. This _does_ sound fun.”

Tony's phone chimed, and he held it up so they could all see the text that Loki had sent him in response.

[Faster off the blocks than I'd expected, Stark, but then I've heard stories about you. Your instructions will arrive momentarily.]

Natasha covered her mouth with her hand to hide her smile.

A moment later they heard scuffling in the hall, and then Logan strode in, hauling a tuxedo-clad man in by his collar. “Visitor, everyone. Just caught this squirrelly little perv peeking into Falcon's room.”

“What? Not that I ever get _tired_ of six and a half feet of Scandinavian sex god, but I like some variety once in a while.” Simon grinned toothily at Logan from behind his mask of many colors. “I could look into your window next time, if you like. Not that I haven't _already_ seen you naked.”

“Shut up, Disc—wait, what?” Logan stopped in the middle of shoving the other man towards Steve.

“Jackman got pretty nude for that tank scene in _Origins._ Rowr. Or hey, here's a thought, seen Daken around anywhere? I could _so_ go for a slice of that.”

 _Snikt._ “You stay away from my son.”

“Uh—” Steve held up a hand. “Thank you, Logan, we were...well, we weren't exactly _expecting_ Discord to drop by, but it's not really a surprise.”

Bruce sighed again, not looking up from his hands. “Hi, Bobby.”

“ _Hiii,_ Bruce—oh my god, is that Wonder Woman? You were my _favorite_ superhero when I was little. Which, hey, stereotype, but that doesn't mean it can't be true. I _wish_ I could pull off boots like yours, but I just don't have the legs for it.”

Clint groaned. “How is it that _every_ time I see you you're gayer?”

Simon's grin widened. “What can I say? As a wise woman once wrote, as we age we only get to be more ourselves. Like wine. Or in my case possibly a fruitcake. Although I suspect that Logan here may be some variety of stinky cheese.”

Logan let go of his collar. “Your problem now, guys. And ladies. I'm not dealing with him anymore.” And he stalked out.

At Zatanna's baffled expression, Steve sighed, and said, “I know I should, I'm the leader, but...Thor? Zatanna's never met him before, and he is your brother's...”

Thor shifted awkwardly, and Natasha rolled her eyes. “ _I'll_ do it. It hasn't been my turn in a while. Diana, Zatanna, this is Discord, high priest of Loki. Otherwise known as Professor Simon Clark, Bobby, and a huge pain in the ass.”

Simon waved. “Hi, Zatanna. Big fan. Love the fishnets. Seen John Constantine lately? Does he look like Keanu in your world or is he actually blonde like he ought to be?”

Zatanna stared at him in disbelief. “ _That's_ a priest of Loki?”

“That and _so_ much more, and _why_ does everyone say that? Am I somehow insufficiently priestly? Should I start wearing a backwards collar and scowling at everything?”

Tony clapped him on the shoulder. “Gotta admit, Bobby, you don't make a great first impression.”

“ _I_ find him rather entertaining.” Diana took in the color-shifting mask, flyaway multicolored hair, heavily pierced ears and impeccably pressed tuxedo with an amused expression. “Subverted any more teen sidekicks lately, Discord?”

“You _remember!_ ” Simon looked starstruck.

Eyerolling from everyone at the table but Zatanna this time, and finally Steve said, “So. I'm assuming that if you're in costume right now I can just call you Discord. What does Loki want?”

“Oh, you know, the usual...” Simon threw himself into a chair next to Clint with a theatrical flourish. “Control of the world. Your subjugation. Freedom to do whatever he damn well pleases. A new sketch comedy show that's as good as _Monty Python's Flying Circus_ , like that's ever going to happen.”

“ _Point,_ Discord. What does he want with _us, now?_ ”

“Oh, right.” Simon dug in his pocket and pulled out a collapsible tablet, which he unfolded. After a moment of tapping on the screen, he held it up so that they could see. “He wants this. The crown of Zeus.”

On the screen was an image—a drawing, not a photograph—of a golden laurel wreath, lifelike and detailed in the extreme and set with many gems. Like the victor's wreaths of old, it gapped at the front, and the gap was surmounted by a delicate tracery of golden wires, in which was held a single yellow jewel, like a topaz. The Avengers and their visitors all found themselves staring at the image in wonder.

Finally Diana said, faintly, “The Zeus of my world owns nothing like this.”

Besides her, Thor nodded slowly. “It is a thing of great beauty. The only one of its kind. I have only seen it once before; we had a state visit from the gods of Olympus, many centuries ago, and the Eagle King wore this crown when he greeted my father.”

“It was a pain in the ass to draw properly, I'll tell you that.” Simon set his tablet down on the table. “Anyway, Loki wants it, and you owe him a pretty big favor, so you're going to steal it for him. Intact, mind you. If you ding it or it loses any gems, the deal's off.”

Steve was still peering at the drawing of the crown. “And if we don't get it for him?”

“Then you've broken your sworn word, which you gave in good faith, and you and your team will forever be without honor in the eyes of Asgard and the others who hold by their laws.”

Clint raised an eyebrow. “Thor?”

“It is as he says.” Thor looked very unhappy. “When Steve gave my brother his word he gave it on behalf of our team, and if we break it the consequences will be dire. So say the laws of the Nine Realms.”

There was a long silence, and then Tony said, “Well, shit. I guess we're stuck with choreboy bullshit, then. Bobby, I'm guessing Loki sent you with some kind of info on how we _get_ to Olympus?”

“ _Oh_ yeah. So you need to go to Greece, and climb the mountain, and on top of the mountain there's going to be a door...”

 

\--

 

“This is bullshit.” Clint leaned against a rock, breathing heavily. “Why do we actually have to _climb_ Mount Olympus? Couldn't we have just gotten set down at the top?”

“It's a matter of mental state.” Diana clapped him on the shoulder reassuringly. “Some worlds require the enterer to be in the correct frame of mind to enter. Climbing the mountain is a meditative exercise. Besides, it's good for you.”

“It's _killing_ me. _You_ may be a statue made flesh, but I'm in peak physical condition for a human and I have a stitch in my side the size of New York. _State._ ”

“You're in peak physical condition for an _archer,_ Barton.” Natasha hiked past him, showing no signs of flagging. She was almost smiling. “That's not really the same as peak physical condition for a human.”

Clint stuck out his tongue at her.

“Hey, _we're_ feeling mature.” The final addition to their party was Jennifer Walters, She-Hulk, who had come along because (she said) she wanted to spend more time with Diana. Privately Clint suspected that she was _actually_ there to keep an eye on Zatanna around her cousin. “If you want I could carry you. I thought I was going to have to carry Brucie, but _he_ came to his senses and decided it'd be easier to just invite his green friend.” She gestured to the Hulk, who was bounding along ahead of them, blissfully unbothered by the lengthy hike.

“Oh, _come_ on. Nat says archers aren't really human and _I'm_ the immature one?”

“I didn't say you weren't human, Clint. I just suggested that physical fitness requirements for archers don't typically include a lot of endurance training.”

“Nat, you of _all_ people should know I've got _plenty_ of—”

“Whoa, guys, think of Steve's virgin ears.” Tony hovered overhead, clearly stifling laughter inside his suit. “We're almost at the top, anyway. I think we can make it another few yards without collapsing.”

“Says the man in the personal flying machine.”

“Well, Clint, someday when you're a billionaire super-genius you can build a flying machine too. Seriously, though, it's right there.”

Clint flipped him off and slogged the rest of the way to the peak, panting in the thin air.

At the top of the mountain, true to Simon's word (which was in and of itself a disconcerting thought), a doorway stood in the air, or perhaps not a doorway but a gate, wrought in gold and shut tight against the incursions of people like them on missions like theirs. Clint was the last one there, because he was one of only two entirely unenhanced humans on this mission, and Natasha, damn her toned legs, _was_ actually in better shape than him, because _she_ was the Russian parkour expert and he was a ranged combatant, ok? But he at least wasn't the only one out of breath—Zatanna, who'd floated herself part of the way, still looked pink in the shade of her _absolutely adorable_ top hat as she leaned against Bruce's shoulder, and Natasha was clearly trying to conceal the fact that her legs ached.

Tony touched down next to the golden gate, the faceplate of his helmet folding back to reveal his entirely-not-out-of-breath-because-he's-an-asshole-in-a-personal-flying-machine face. “Thor? Bobby said you'd be doing the honors.”

“I believe he prefers Simon now, my friend,” said Thor mildly, stepping forward and patting the hammer on his belt. “But in any case...”

He reached out and touched the gate with one finger. It swung wide, the doors opening in through something that was now a hole in the air leading to another world, and one by one they stepped through. On the other side of the gate, they were standing on a beach. Behind them, around the gate, was a rocky field of rough grass, and where the field ended was...

Steve took a deep breath, and it hitched in his chest as he stared out at the star field with artist's eyes. “ _Oh._ I...” He fumbled at his belt for a moment before coming out with his phone, incongruously small in his big hands and strange in this beach-at-the-end-of-the-universe. “I know we need to get moving. But I think I need—”

Bruce, shrunk back to his normal size, reached up to pat Steve on the shoulder. “Yeah. How many times do we get a sight like this when we're _not_ getting chased by Skrulls?”

They waited while Steve took pictures, muttering about how he wished he'd brought his sketchbook, and then turned back to the equally heartbreaking, breathtaking expanse of ocean.

“So,” Tony said. “How are we doing this?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming up: Gods walk among the Avengers!


	3. Kings of Earth and Earthquake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having arrived in the pocket dimension Olympus, the Avengers set out properly on their quest and encounter a few...interesting characters.

_“You'll need a boat,”_ Simon had said to them, his gaze shrewd in a way that made Tony distinctly uncomfortable. _“You won't be able to bring one. If you're_ lucky _there'll be one there when you get through. If you're_ not _, well..you're all smart. I'm sure you'll figure something out.”_

There was, of course, no boat. They hunted up and down the small beach for an alcove in which a boat might be hidden, a signal to call a ferryman, materials to _make_ a boat with, and came up empty-handed. Nothing. Not even little sticks. The only trees were little low scrub trees, barely suitable for making a campfire, let alone a boat sized for ten.

Finally, when Tony was getting started on a rant about what he wouldn't _give_ for a box of scraps right now, Zatanna frowned and said, “I could try making a boat.”

Tony cut off mid-sentence, blinking. “Wait, what?”

“Or calling one. With magic, you know.” She tapped the brim of her hat, as if this explained things. “That _is_ what I do.”

“Right, right. Why didn't I think of that?”

“Because you're an engineer, Tony.” Natasha was seated on a rock, paring her nails. “If it doesn't have a circuitboard in it, you assume that it wants to kill you.”

“Ah, but if it _does_ have a circuitboard in it, then I _know_ it's trying to kill me. Much safer. Magic is tricky.”

“Tony, _you_ were the one who said you were excited to have her on the mission.” Steve looked amused. “I _did_ think it was a little strange.”

“I learned that Loki has my cell phone number at five this morning and I've had at least fifteen cups of coffee since then. Why are you asking me to be sane and consistent?” Tony turned a loop-de-loop in the air, as if to prove his point.

Everyone was stifling laughter, and Bruce shook his head. “Tony, you're my best friend, but sometimes I'm _really_ glad that you're not actually team leader.”

“No, I'm team financier and apparently comic relief. Very big role. Anyway, so, do your thing, Ginger Rogers.” _That_ made no sense, and everyone stared at him until he groaned. “Come _on._ Zatanna. She wears a top hat, _Top Hat_ is an old movie, she's not Fred Astaire, she must be Ginger Rogers.” Diana murmured something to Thor, who burst out laughing. Tony sighed. “None of you appreciate me.”

Steve smiled gently. “I got the joke.”

“See! Steve got the joke. Wait, no, Steve got the joke, that means I made a grandpa joke. Waking up at five in the morning to a supervillain on line one isn't good for my sparkling wit.”

Jennifer had edged over to where Zatanna was. “Why don't you do the honors, hon. He'll go on like this for hours if we let him.”

Zatanna grinned. “It's sort of fun. Here goes, though...” She shut her eyes for a moment and raised her hands. “eW deen a pihs.”

The air around her glowed briefly, and the waves that lapped the shore bucked, and then...nothing.

She frowned. “I _felt_ something, I swear I felt something, but it was—different. And then it stoppd.”

Diana was frowning as well, peering at the spot where the waves had moved strangely. “Perhaps—here, Zatanna, give me a moment.” She moved closer to the waterline, and then, before anyone realized what she was doing, she'd pulled a small knife from her belt and gashed her palm. Blood dripped into the sea water. “Poseidon,” she said, “grant us passage.”

The waves bucked again, and glittered, and then the water lifted up and coalesced into the form of an extremely buff man with faintly blue skin and white hair down to his waist. He wasn't precisely _wearing_ anything, but seaweed had gathered in bunches around his hips, and in one hand he held a gleaming golden trident. Despite his white hair, his face was entirely unlined, and he regarded Diana with open curiosity. “An Amazon. But not one of _our_ Amazons.”

Diana gave a regal nod and then bowed, briefly. “I am Princess Diana of Themyscira, Quake Lord. I come from a shore far from this one.”

“So it _seems._ ” He grinned whitely, and several teammates almost recoiled—his teeth were sharp and white, rows upon rows of them like a shark stretching backwards into his mouth. “I scented blood and magic upon my shores, and so I came. What do you do here, Amazon princess? You smell of stone and sun, and your companions are strange to this place. Except—” he inclined his head to Thor. “Prince Thor. Well met, fair son of Asgard. When I last saw you, you were barely so high.” His gesture indicated a point somewhere generally south of his waist, and Clint had a hard time believing that Thor had ever been so short. “How is the Gallows God, young thunderer?”

Thor raised a hand in salute. “He fares well, Lord Poseidon. Things are peaceful in Asgard.”

“And the younger prince, the one who is so fond of fish, how is he?” Poseidon's teeth actually gleamed in the sun. His eyes had no pupils; they were all churning blue and green. “We had many conversations the last time I visited Asgard. A clever youth.”

“He...” Thor paused. “Loki is...well.”

“My sharks tell me he has taken a human lover nowadays, and a student, and that he wreaks much entertaining havoc.” Poseidon's eyes gleamed, almost merrily. “I watched him once, in my sea mirror. It was a day of much laughter in the Wave Palace. I always liked him. But tell me, Amazon princess, prince of Asgard, what do you do here in human company? Why did you ask my presence with blood on the water?”

Diana actually stepped to the side, gesturing for Steve to come forward. “My friends and I are on a quest and wish to cross your ocean, Quake Lord. This is our leader, Steve Rogers, a mighty warrior of Earth.”

Steve saluted stiffly. “Captain Steve Rogers, sir.”

“Steve Rogers!” Poseidon's grin widened, if that was possible. “I've heard your name, Steve Rogers. You sheltered for a time in the heart of the oceans, and so I know you. What could give you such a quest that you would come here, and abandon your beloved _America?_ ”

“Ah...” Steve coughed. “Our quest actually came from Loki, sir. We owed him a favor.”

“And he sent you here! Oh, that boy, that delightful boy...and you, fine lady.” Poseidon turned suddenly to look at Zatanna. “It was your mystical forces that I smelled. Were you perhaps trying to summon a boat to cross my ocean?”

Zatanna looked startled, but then she swept off her hat and bowed low. “I was, sir. But I wasn't able to.”

“No, of course you weren't. You didn't have my permission.” Before anyone could say anything, he held up his free hand. “You have it now, though, little mystic. Whatever quest young Loki might have sent you on is certain to annoy my brother _wonderfully,_ and that's _always_ enjoyable viewing. I would recommend that you call a ship by name, though. Most respond much better to their names than to 'hey, you.' I'm sure the fair Amazon princess will know a good one.”

Diana nodded, her bloody hand resting on her lasso. “I believe I do, Quake Lord. Then we may cross the ocean unmolested?”

“By _me,_ at least.” Poseidon's voice bubbled with suppressed laughter now. “I can't make promises about anyone _else_ you might meet, at least above the surface, but you may call a ship, and my waters will not fight you.”

“Thank you, Quake Lord.” She bowed, gesturing to the others that they should bow as well.

“You are most welcome, Amazon princess!” He threw his head back and laughed like an actor. “Have fun annoying my brother, human warriors!”

And he melted into the waves.

“That was different,” Diana said musingly. “He's not like the Poseidon I'm used to.”

Zatanna stared at the ocean in some consternation. “Call a ship by _name?_ I don't know the names of any Greek ships, and the other ships I know of would be pretty bad luck. I'm _not_ calling the Titanic, or the Lusitania.”

“He wants you to call the Argo. He's saying that he likes you.”

“ _That's_ what he meant?” She frowned. “I...think I can do that. It's not like what I've done in the past, but...” She raised her hands again. “ogrA, emoc htrof! I monnus ouy!”

 _This_ time it wasn't just a small movement; the air filled with sparkles of light and the waters churned as if a whirlpool was forming. Then instead of a whirlpool it began to look more like _labor,_ like the sea was giving birth to the ship that suddenly burst through the surface, gleaming, the eyes painted on its prow wide and unblinking. It rocked momentarily, as if it might capsize, and then righted itself, shifting of its own accord to lower down a gangplank to them.

They all stared, and as they were staring a soft voice of indeterminate gender said, “I come as summoned, sorceress. What do you wish of me?”

Zatanna blinked hard, pushing her hat back slightly on her head as she leaned forward to look. “I, uh...we want to cross the ocean. My friends and I. We're on a quest. Are you the Argo?”

“I am Argo, yes, and crossing oceans is what ships are for.” The soft voice sounded amused. “Come aboard, oh questing heroes, and together we will sail to the ends of the earth.”

Slowly all the heroes climbed aboard the ship, looking around themselves in wonder.

“Now this,” Tony said, as he set down on the deck, “this is more what I'm used to. So are you an AI or something? Alien technology?”

“I am Argo,” said Argo pleasantly. “I am a spirit residing within the ship, which is also Argo. It has always been so.”

“Right, right, spirit. So where's your brain? You have a circuitboard somewhere?”

Jennifer and Natasha hid their smiles as Argo replied, “I live in the ship. I am it, and it is me. I have no circuitboards or microchips, hoplite of Earth.”

“You—wait.” The faceplate on the Iron Man helmet closed for a moment, and they heard him mutter, “Jarvis, define hoplite.”

“Where are you bound, heroes of Earth?”

Steve had finally located the source of the voice—a single heavy beam near the prow of the ship—and he stepped towards it as the gangplank was raised. “We're going to the city of Olympus, Argo.”

A pause, and then, “Welcome to the Argo, Steve Rogers, warrior of Earth. Would you prefer to take the scenic route or the straight way?”

“Which is faster?”

“The shortest distance between two points is a straight line, Steve Rogers, but both ways have their perils. I do not know the capabilities of your crew, and thus cannot offer advice on which of those perils you would be more prepared to face.”

“What perils?”

The soft voice laughed. “That would be telling.”

Steve huffed, irritated. “We'll take the straight way, then. No point in wasting time.”

“As you wish, Steve Rogers.” The deck rolled suddenly beneath their feet as the ship swung outward, apparently unsteered. A wind whipped up around them and filled the sails. Jennifer, who was leaning over the railing to look into the water, saw the eyes on the prow widen and then narrow, like a falcon aiming for a kill, and then the soft voice rose, not so soft anymore, but fierce and loud and filled with joy. “We sail on to adventure, heroes of Earth!”

 

\--

 

Despite what Argo had said, the first few hours of their sea voyage were as dull as the climb up Mount Olympus had been. When the party thought to check in the low cabins below the deck, they found supplies of food—dried fruits and vegetables, salted fish and lamb, hard biscuits—but no indication of where they were to sleep, and the sea on all sides remained unbroken by any sign of islands or mainland.

“How far is it, Argo?” Bruce said finally, leaning back against the foremost mast. “How long is this trip likely to take? Are we going to have to go through the night?”

“Long enough and yet not so long, hero of Earth.” Now that they were moving, Argo sounded almost cheerful. “If we are near land come nightfall then I can stop; I am yours to command for your voyage. If there is no land then you must sleep on deck. There are bedrolls with the food, and other heroes before you have told me that they slept best at sea.”

“What if it rains?”

“Then it rains. Are the heroes of Earth now so soft? I confess that I haven't been there in some time, but if I recall, the heroes of old never complained of rain.”

“I can keep the rain off.” Zatanna dropped to the deck next to him, smiling. “Magic powers are useful that way.”

“I guess so.” Bruce shifted over so that she could have more space to lean against the mast. “You have to understand, though, I still have some trouble with the concept.”

She laughed. “We're sailing on a talking boat to steal a hat from a Greek god because a Norse god told us to. I think at this point I can accept anything.”

Downship, Diana and Thor were propped against the railing side by side, trading stories about long-ago battles. They leaned close, their heads together, clearly far more at home on ship than the others, and they were both laughing. The sun shone on their hair, black and blonde. Then, below them in the water, something moved, and Diana's grin widened. She leaned across Thor to point, their shoulders brushing together. “Look, Thor. In the water.”

Thor turned to see what she was pointing at. “Dolphins!” He waved the others over. “We have company, my friends!”

The others crowded around to look at the pod of dolphins now swimming alongside them. Jennifer, in particular, watched them for a moment, bent over the railing to examine the height of the ship, and then dove into the water with a cheery whoop. The dolphins shyed away from her and then clustered up again, leaving her to swim in the middle of their group. Clint stared. “Jenny, are you _insane?_ ”

“Oh, come on, Clint.” She rolled over into a backstroke, beaming. “They're friendly. I figure, if we have to do this, why not enjoy ourselves? Tony can help me out when they leave.”

“Or you could stay. I think I rather like you.”

“Who was—” She started to the side as a dolphin surfaced and morphed into Poseidon, doing the backstroke beside her and grinning his shark's grin.

He laughed. “Did I startle you, hero of Earth? It wasn't intentional, I assure you. I just wanted to see how you were getting on.”

Natasha watched him narrowly, unsmiling. “It's only been a few hours since you last saw us.”

“Has it? I lose track so easily. I thought it had been much longer.” He shrugged ripplingly, ceasing his backstroke and simply drifting along, though he had no trouble keeping pace with Jennifer and the ship. “Oh, well. I thought you might like to know that you'll be reaching an island soon. It should be a good place to rest and rejuvenate.”

“I knew that,” Argo said mildly. “I was aiming for it.”

“Of course _you_ knew, Argo. You've roamed my seas for _millenia._ ” Poseidon rolled his eyes. “I was talking to the heroes of Earth, who do _not_ know.”

“This island.” Natasha still didn't look amused. “Is it safe?”

Poseidon stared at her for a moment and then roared with laughter. “ _Safe!_ The huntress of men asks if the island is _safe!_ Scarlet huntress, _nothing_ here is safe. Nothing _anywhere_ is safe. But if you make a good impression, it can certainly be congenial.” He twisted onto his side to look at Jennifer. “And what say _you,_ glorious viridian caryatid of justice? Would you like a place in my oceans? Surely the quest can be completed by the others.”

As Jennifer stared at him, momentarily at a loss for words, a splashing sound alerted them to the speedy approach of another dolphin. This one didn't turn into anything, but as it came closer the heroes realized that it was being _ridden._ It joined the pod alongside Poseidon, and they saw that the rider was a slim, naked young man with green skin and a tangle of curly brown hair, his mouth stained deep purple with what looked like juice. “Poseidon, what _are_ you doing? You're _scaring_ my dolphins.”

Poseidon rolled over lazily atop the waters to face him. “I'm checking in on the heroes of Earth, Di. I wanted to see how they were doing.”

“The heroes of—do we have _questors_ visiting?” The young man on the dolphin peered at Jennifer, and then looked up at the rest of the team, clustered at the ship's railing. “ _Oh,_ and is that _Thor?_ _Hiii,_ Thor!” He waved energetically.

Thor waved back, smiling, and Tony pinched the bridge of his nose. “He reminds me of Bobby.”

“I remind you of— _Tony!_ Tony _Stark!_ ” The young man beamed, and then rose up and leaped gracefully from the back of his dolphin to the deck of the ship. He seized Tony's face and kissed him on the forehead. “You're my _favorite_ mortal. It _used_ to be John Belushi, but now it's you.”

Tony stared back, blinking hard, his eyes suddenly unfocused. “Um...hi? Do I _know_ you?”

The young man looked faintly hurt. “ _Tony._ Of _course_ you know me. I'm your very _best_ friend. Although I suppose you _have_ been neglecting me lately, and I have to say that I'm _very_ disappointed in you.”

“If I may...” Diana moved down the railing. “Vine Lord, I'm Princess Diana of Themyscira. Tony, this is, ah...Dionysus, god of wine.”

“And madness! Don't forget madness, o exciting Amazon princess!” Dionysus perched on the railing, shrieking with unexpected laughter. “I am oh, mad, mad, mad as a _hatter,_ as some humans have said, and _you,_ ” pointing suddenly at Steve, “are Steve Rogers, and a _waste_ of good liquor. What's the point of _living_ if you can't get _drunk?_ ”

Steve looked slightly taken aback. “Um...I'm sorry?”

“You are? You _are!_ How wonderful! You're forgiven. What are all you _exciting_ people questing for, anyway?”

“We—”

“Are you going to steal something? I _bet_ you're going to steal something. Those are the best quests.” Dionysus cocked his head to one side quizzically, as if he were a dog.

Natasha nodded, sliding into a position that the others recognized as her I-am-preparing-for-the-possibility-that-you-may-be-rabid stance. “Yes. We're going to steal something.”

“I _thought_ so. You look like you'd be good at it. Although you _don't_ look like you go to many parties, which I don't approve of, but I bet you're _terrifying_ in bed, and that makes up for it. Are you going to Olympus? Wait, no, of course you're going to Olympus, where else would you be going? You know what, I'm going to go let them know you're coming. We'll throw you a party! We haven't had visitors in _ages!_ Almost two _months!_ Clearly it's high time.” Then he vanished with a _BANG_ of displaced air, leaving behind nothing but the faint, heady smell of grapes.

Poseidon chuckled. “Di is the youngest of us. Isn't he charming?”

“Thrilling.” Clint grimaced. “What was the point of that?”

“The oceans are mine, but some of its creatures are his. I commandeered some of his dolphins to visit you, and so he came. Allow me, fine caryatid,” to Jessica, who had swum over to the side of the ship and was hunting for handholds. Poseidon stood straight on the water and offered her his hand, lifting her up to the deck of the ship as if she weighed no more than a child. “I have sped your journey somewhat, because you amuse me. Look, heroes of Earth. You approach the island.”

And as he said it, Argo said, pleasantly, “Land ho!”

Poseidon raised an eyebrow suggestively at Jennifer. “Consider my offer, green beauty.”

Then he melted.

Bruce made a face. “I _really_ wish they'd all stop doing that. It's very hard on the nerves.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think Poseidon may be my favorite part of this story. The Boy, when beta-reading this, described him as "Brian Blessed, but as a shark."
> 
> For those of you puzzled by his phrasing, caryatids are those statues of idealized women that you see holding up buildings in some classical architecture. Basically Poseidon is commenting on the fact that Jennifer is a very physically imposing woman, and he is _totally_ into that.


	4. Archipelago

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A tour of some of the islands of the Olympus pocket dimension, as the Avengers travel ever closer towards the Mount. Strange sights, new friends, and the chance to make an impression.

Perhaps half an hour after Poseidon's disappearance, the Argo lowered its gangplank onto the sand on the beach of a large semi-tropical island. The sight of palm trees lining the shore gave their landing an unexpected vacation feeling, and they disembarked cheerfully, packages of food from the hold in hand and bedrolls over their shoulders. This would be a good place to stay the night—it was late in the day already, though it didn't seem as if it had been that long, and the ship seemed to have no trouble negotiating the shallows or staying in one place. Past the edge of the beach, in the forest, the shadows were growing long.

“Man, I kinda wish we had marshmallows.” Bruce scratched the back of his head, squinting out at the sinking sun. “This reminds me of a summer camp I used to go to.”

Zatanna blinked. “You used to go to camp? That's...it actually really helps knowing that _one_ person here got to do semi-normal childhood things.”

“Yeah. I always liked camp. Only place where I never had to deal with my dad.”

Zatanna blinked again, then winced and bumped her shoulder against his comfortingly.

“Anyway, you want the _real_ normal childhood experience, ask Jenny. Uncle Bill was practically a sitcom dad.”

“He and Uncle Brian never _did_ get along, did they?” Jennifer had scoped out a stand of saplings at the edge of the beach, and she and Diana were bending the individual trees together and binding them with ropes. “And you couldn't really call _my_ childhood normal, I did have all the health problems. Ready for the tarp, boys.”

At her word, Steve and Thor heaved a tarp up over the bound saplings and tugged it straight, making a canopy under which they could sleep. Clint had climbed a tree and was looking for a source of fresh water, and Natasha had already started a sizeable campfire.

“Shouldn't we be exploring?” Tony hadn't taken off his armor yet, even though he had brought a perfectly suitable change of clothes, and he was staring around at the beauty of uncontained nature with what looked like some distress. “I can't handle roughing it like this. I need to invent capsule houses. You remember that, Bruce, from _Dragonball_? Toss a little widget and poof, a house. Not that the tent thing you've all put together isn't _nice,_ but—”

_“Tony.”_

“What? What is it?”

Steve tossed him the duffel bag. “Go put real clothes on. It's not like you couldn't use some fresh air.”

“Cap, I'm wounded. If I take off the suit then who'll protect the camp?”

“It lives in your bones anyway, and I'm _sure_ we can handle ourselves.”

Bruce grinned. “And anyway I'm going to start on dinner soon, and I think you remember how well it went the last time I was cooking while you were in the suit.”

Tony sighed. “Well, Pepper and the kitchen wall certainly remember. Fine, I'll go change.”

An arrow flew past his face. Clint yelled, “Guys! Incoming! Looks like...cavalry?”

“Or I could _not_ change and keep us all from getting killed by military reenactors.”

Hoof beats pounded close by, and then from the forest came a shout of, “Intruders upon these shores! Tell your flying hoplite to stand down and state your business!”

Tony was already setting down lightly on the sand. “Why does everyone keep using that word? I looked up a picture, the suit isn't _that_ bulky.”

Diana and Steve stepped forward simultaneously and glanced at each other. There was a bare moment of wordless chat— _Would you like to?—Well, you're the team leader—_ and then Steve cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted, “He's landed, and we just needed a place to sleep for the night!”

There was a murmur from the trees, and then leaves rustled as the new arrivals moved out onto the beach. “We are coming to get a better look at you, intruders.”

They were centaurs.

There were five of them. They were a bit smaller than normal horses, but definitely larger than the average human; the only people on the team even _potentially_ capable of looking them straight in the eye were Jennifer and Diana, who were both at least seven feet tall. They carried longbows as tall as Natasha, had shells braided into their hair, and didn't look pleased to see anyone.

The lone female in the group stepped to the front. “We see that you are warriors, intruders. What brings you to our island? If you are here to invade, you will not find us easy to conquer.”

Steve held up his hands. “We're just passing through on our way to Olympus. The ship landed us here so that we could camp for the night.”

“The ship landed you of its own accord?” The centaur woman looked over at where the Argo floated in the water and started back. “You sail with the Argo. We have not seen Argonauts on our shores in many months.”

“Well, we were given permission to use the ship by—”

The other centaurs had readied their bows and were taking aim at the team. The centaur woman sneered as she reached for an arrow from her own quiver. “The last time the Argo made port here it carried a great enemy of my kind. We will not risk another attack.”

Steve shouted and pulled his shield from his back, Tony rose into the air again, Bruce began to swell—

The arrow left the centaur woman's bow and—

_Thok._

The centaur woman's arrow fell to the ground, deflected by another arrow, this one SHIELD-issue matte black. The centaurs reared, shouting, and looked around for who had shot at them. One of the men, catching a flicker of movement, pointed. “In the trees!”

Clint swung around onto a sturdy branch and waved to the centaurs, bow in hand. “You know, normally I like the shoot-first mindset, but not when it involves my friends.”

The centaur woman stared at him with undisguised interest. “Who are you, archer?”

“The one and only Hawkeye, world's greatest marksman. Now stop shooting at my friends, we're not here to bother you.”

She raised an eyebrow and lowered her bow. “As you wish, Hawkeye. Are you truly your world's greatest marksman?”

“Top of the class, baby.”

“Hm.” She gestured to her comrades, who lowered their bows as well. “And where did you get the Argo?”

“That creepy shark guy said we could use it. Don, or whatever.”

Diana buried her face in her hands. “Please don't let Poseidon be listening.”

Now the centaurs were murmuring to each other. At least two of the men were clearly arguing about something, gesturing hugely with their massive bows and occasionally pointing to the team, and to Clint up in the tree. At a certain point, however, the centaur woman finally backhanded one of the arguing men, sending him stumbling to the side, and then turned to look up at Clint again. “You were truly sent by our great progenitor?”

“Not something I'd lie about.” Clint collapsed his bow with a flick of his wrist. “He seems like a biter.”

“And you do sail with the Argo, which is the greatest of his ships.”

“They summoned me with his permission,” said Argo in its neutral voice.

There was a long pause, and then the centaur woman threw her head back and let out a shout of laughter, in a gesture much like the one Poseidon had used on the first beach. “In that case you will be our guests tonight! The wine will flow free, there will be an abundance of meat, and we will have contests of skill on the morrow. I am Lysandra, and I welcome you to the Isle of Centaurs.” She beckoned to Clint. “Descend from your eyrie, oh Eye of the Hawk. _You_ will ride with _me._ ”

Clint looked at the glint in Lysandra's eye and coughed. “You may want to talk to my lady friend about that.”

\--

That night they stayed in the centaur village, where they were greeted with a great deal of boisterous merriment. Thor and Diana were immediately at home there, and the rest adjusted rapidly, particularly Clint, whose skill at marksmanship made him many friends among the bow-loving centaurs. The food and wine were plentiful, and instead of sleeping in a tent they drifted off in a longhouse that the centaurs apparently kept set up for their few human visitors. In the morning there were games and contests, and by the time the team returned to the Argo everyone was in a festive mood.

Lysandra and several of the other centaurs saw them back to the beach, carrying those who did not have enhanced endurance or other ways to travel quickly. Apart from transport, they also provided additional food for the stores, several casks of strong wine, and an oilcloth canopy to erect on the deck and shield them from the wind.

“Come visit us again, great marksman,” shouted Lysandra as the ship moved away from the shore. “You and your fine companions will always be welcome in my village.”

“Oh, yeah, totally!” Clint was leaning over the railing to wave back, only saved by falling into the water by Natasha's hand on his waist. “I'll bring beer next time!”

“What's beer?”

“You'll love it!”

Then they were too far out to be heard from the shore. As they cut through the waters to head farther on, Argo remarked, drily, “I trust you enjoyed your night.”

Thor grinned. “It was most enjoyable!”

“I am glad. There should be another island for you to shelter on this evening.”

\--

On the next island, Jennifer had to throw the witch Circe into a stand of coral to persuade her to reverse a spell that turned all the men into orangutans.

\--

On the third island, Tony wouldn't stop making X-Men jokes as they sailed rapidly out of the range of Polyphemus' hurled boulders.

\-- 

On the fourth island, they found Amazons, who would only negotiate with the women, and who were initially very unfriendly when they discovered that Diana was some variety of princess.

They came perilously close to making Zatanna their queen.

\--

The fifth island, when they reached it, was eerily quiet compared to the others. The beach was narrow, a thin strip of sand at the water that rapidly disappeared into a very thick forest, in which there were very few animals making noise. They stepped off the ship feeling wary, shouldering packs of the night's supplies.

Bruce frowned. “Where are all the birds?”

Jennifer blinked. “What birds?”

“Exactly. There should be birds, but I can't hear any.”

She shrugged. “Maybe they're all sleeping.”

“Most of the birds here have been diurnal. If they were sleeping I'd be even more suspicious. And anyway, it's late enough in the day for the nocturnal birds to be waking up.”

By now the others were looking around as well, noting the absolute silence of the forest, and the suspicious lack of wildlife. Steve turned to the ship. “Argo, what island is this?”

“This is the Isle of the Madman, Steve Rogers.” The Argo rocked gently in the water as it spoke.

“The Madman? Who's that?”

“He crewed me, once. A fine sailor.”

“That's not an answer, Argo.”

“I am a ship, Steve Rogers. I am not in the business of giving answers, unless they are answers that can be gleaned from sea travel. Besides, it's his island. You'll meet him soon enough.”

Steve made a face, glancing over at Tony. “Why do I always feel like it's making fun of me?”

Tony shrugged, opening his mouth to answer, but before he could speak Natasha held up a hand. “I hear something coming.”

Everyone fell still. Sure enough, over the sound of waves lapping the sand and the faint creak of the Argo as it swayed in the water, they could hear a rustling, as of something running through the brush. As they listened it grew closer, and was accompanied by a rumbling noise, a growling that was almost animalistic but for the fact that it half-formed words.

They slipped into combat stances just as a lion burst from the bushes and leapt at them.

No— _not_ a lion. It was a man, huge and vastly muscled, wrapped in a lion's skin with its head over his own like a hood. Apart from the lion skin he wore nothing but a great deal of dirt, and beneath the dirt his skin gleamed like dark gold, tanned from what could have been years in the sun.

He roared and leaped, not at them, but _over_ them, one tremendous bound taking him over their heads and onto the deck of the Argo. Another vast leap had him at the other end of the ship, where they'd stowed the wine that the centaurs had given them. He hoisted a cask, cracked open the bunghole, and, as far as any of them were able to tell, drained half the wine from it in a single enormous pull.

When he pulled his mouth from the cask the wine dripped down his chin as red as blood, and he tossed his head back and howled, “AT LAST! A CIVILIZED BEVERAGE!”

Natasha was the only one who didn't look even slightly impressed. “Can we help you?”

The man looked over at them and beamed. Despite his general filth, his teeth gleamed as if they'd been polished. “ADVENTURERS! IT HAS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I HAVE HAD HUMAN COMPANY!”

Bruce rubbed an ear as he suppressed the desire to Hulk out. “Oh good. We found someone louder than Thor.”

Thor frowned. “I am not that loud, am I? I thought I'd improved.”

“AND ARGO, MY FRIEND! I HAVE NOT SEEN YOU IN SOME TIME! ARE THESE FINE ADVENTURERS YOUR CREW NOW?” The man in the lion skin slapped the railing of the ship affectionately.

“They are,” said the ship. “I was given to the heroes of Earth for their voyage by Poseidon himself.”

“TRULY? THIS CALLS FOR A TOAST!” The man hoisted his cask and drained the other half of the wine, and then leaped back down to the shore. “IT IS GOOD TO SEE HEROES IN THESE LANDS AGAIN! THOUGH YOUR BAND IS MORE...VARIED THAN THE LAST I TRAVELED WITH.”

The admiring look at Natasha that accompanied this comment was apparently the last straw. Clint had put away his bow when the stranger had started drinking, but now he stepped forward, reaching for it again. “I don't think we've been introduced.”

The stranger grinned. “INDEED WE HAVE NOT! FRIENDS, YOU HAVE THE HONOR OF BEHOLDING HERACLES, CHAMPION OF THE GODS!” He paused. “Except for Hera. She doesn't like me very much.”

Tony coughed. “I can't imagine why.”

“And you?” After his brief moment of self-reflection, Heracles was no longer shouting, though he was still speaking at a rather higher volume than was strictly necessary. “Who might you be, heroes of Earth?”

Steve cleared his throat. “My name is Steve Rogers, Mr...Hercules.”

“It is pronounced Heracles, friend Steve Rogers! ...although I must admit, I do like the rhythm of that. Hercules. Is that Roman?”

“Sorry. Heracles. I'm Steve Rogers, and this is my team.” Steve paused, pondering something. “Although you may have already met Thor.”

From behind him, Thor waved to Heracles. “We have not met! But I have heard much about you, friend Heracles. I am Thor, prince of Asgard.”

Heracles looked delighted. “Thor! I have wished to meet you for some time. I would have come along on the last visit my father paid to Asgard, but I was off on an adventure at the time!”

“I almost missed it for much the same reason! But my lord father kept me home, to do my duties as crown prince.”

“Most commendable! And...is that an _Amazon_ I spy amongst your party?” Heracles' roving gaze had lit on Diana, and he inclined his head to her. “Fair warrior, I hope you do not bear me the ill will that your sisters do!”

Diana smiled faintly. “I am of a different kind, Heracles, and bear you no malice. I am Diana, princess of Themyscira and ambassador to the world of men.”

“An Amazon who enjoys the company of men! How unusual! And the rest of your company?”

Diana put a hand on Zatanna's shoulder. “This is my comrade in arms, Zatanna Zatara, friend to the Amazons.”

“Your name is longer than you are, fair lady!”

“And this is my team.” Steve gestured to the others. “Natasha Romanov, Jennifer Walters, Tony Stark, Clint Barton, and Dr. Bruce Banner.”

Heracles was already peering at Bruce. “You do not all _look_ like warriors. Are you this band's wiseman, Dr. Bruce Banner?”

Bruce adjusted his glasses, backing away slightly. “You could say that.”

“He also turns into an enormous green rage monster and smashes things.”

 _“Tony.”_ Steve frowned.

But Heracles was roaring with delighted laughter. “Most excellent! And where are you bound, my friends?” He paused. “You're not going to Olympus, are you? Might I hitch a ride, if you are? I have been trapped on this island alone for a powerfully long time.”

“We would never have guessed,” said Clint, rubbing one ear.

\-- 

That night they shared meat from the Argo's stores around a vast bonfire at Heracles' campsite, and in the morning he joined them when they set forth again. The ship seemed to welcome him back silently, and he spent some time leaning against the talking beam, breathing in the sea air with a contented look on his face. “It will be good to see my father once more.”

Around midday, Clint got tired of losing to Natasha at chess—there wasn't much to do aboard ship, especially when said ship sailed itself, unaided. He groaned theatrically. “Are we _there_ yet?”

“Very nearly so, Clint Barton of Earth.”

Everyone looked over, surprised, and Clint said, “Really? I was just joking.”

“Even so, we approach Olympus, and should be there within the hour.” Argo sounded obscurely pleased. “If you look, you will see the sacred mountain cresting the horizon.”

The wind kicked up, and the air was suddenly full of the scent of olives and sunlight. As they lifted their heads the mountain did indeed break the horizon, seeming to appear as suddenly as a mirage. In the distance it gleamed white.

A faint rustling sound alerted them to the arrival of Poseidon, who had risen from the ocean beside them and now reclined on the ship's railing. Despite his relaxed pose, his expression was surprisingly grave. “Behold, heroes of Earth. You have the rare privilege of seeing Olympus, the city of the gods.”

Thor nodded solemnly. “It is a great honor, Lord Poseidon.”

“That it is, young thunderer.” Poseidon rolled his neck with a crackle like the roar of distant waves. “Make haste, heroes of Earth. You are expected.”


	5. Olympus Family Values

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olympus at last! The big job is pulled, the big con is conned, and it's time for the Avengers to get the hell out of Classical Dodge!

The sacred mountain wasn't actually a mountain in the truest sense of the term. It was certainly _mountainous_ , but every peak had been built, the city rising in tiers from the docks at the bottom to the palace at the top. Every building was sheathed in white marble, unnaturally clean given their constant exposure to sea salt and the general mess of the living. _Lots_ of living, from the way the streets bustled with people.

“Ideally I would already be in my throne at the top of the mountain awaiting your arrival, heroes of Earth.” Poseidon had disembarked with them, patting the ship's railing as if it was a favorite pet. “But I thought you might appreciate an escort. Olympus can be overwhelming to humans.”

Steve nodded at Poseidon, looking puzzled. “Well...that's greatly appreciated. Thank you, ah, Lord Poseidon.”

Clint was staring up the grand boulevard in dismay. “We have to climb _another_ mountain?”

“Not at all, hero of Earth. The way is shortened for gods and the worthy. Simply come forward, and you will reach the abode of my family quite easily.”

Indeed, when they began to make for the palace, their steps seemed light and swift, as if they weighed nothing at all. The denizens of the city watched their passing and whispered, smiles on their faces, and as they reached the palace steps there was a spontaneous burst of applause. Poseidon waved to the crowd, flashing them an indulgent, toothy smile.

Then, at the top of the steps, he vanished.

Bruce shuddered. “ _Really_ hard on the nerves.”

“Hang in there, Bruce.” Zatanna patted him on the shoulder. “He's probably got some weird godly reason for it.”

“Or he likes to be frustrating.”

“Can it not be both, my friend?” Thor was fidgeting uncharacteristically, adjusting pieces of his outfit so that they hung better and resettling Mjolnir on his belt. “The ways of these southern gods are mysterious, but he is likely required to greet us from his throne when we enter.”

“Poseidon is always frustrating.” Diana gently batted Thor's hands away from his hair. “It's the nature of the ocean. Come on, we should go inside. They'll be expecting us.”

Tony leaned forward to peer through the vast doors of the palace. “Anything _we_ should be expecting, Diana? Pit of spikes? Trial by fire? A horde of zombies? I don't know how these guys do things.”

“Honestly, I don't either.” She frowned. “They're not like my gods. But we should be fine to simply enter and present ourselves.”

“Well, then.” Steve adjusted his cowl and straightened his shoulders. “Avengers, assemble for parade.”

They walked into the palace together.

Through the doors they found that the main part of the palace was simply one vast hall, gleaming in gold and marble, with a roaring hearthfire in the middle. The fire was tended by a woman who stood when they entered, and when she smiled at them she was so beautiful that tears came to their eyes. “Welcome, dear friends, to the house of Olympus.”

They stared.

Arrayed around the hall were twelve thrones, larger than life and heart-stopping in their brilliance, all occupied by the mostly-nude figures of the gods. Poseidon's throne dripped saltwater continuously to the floor, and it was scaled in many colors, a kelp-draped rainbow of the sea's bounty, its armrests two charging horses that seemed to be about to leap down and run away. Dionysus, who waved to them when he saw them, reclined on a chair that seemed to have grown from the floor, his back caressed by vines covered in fat purple grapes. At the head of the room were two thrones larger even than the others, one covered in peacock feathers and draped in white linen with a double-headed axe over it, the other wreathed in clouds. In the cloud-wreathed throne sat a man vast and powerful, his face lined with a distinguished kind of age. His hair was white like Poseidon's, and on his head he wore the crown they'd all been shown, the yellow gem gleaming in its golden filigree on his forehead. Zeus.

He looked at them as they entered and said, “Who comes to the house of Olympus?”

“Really, my brother.” Poseidon rolled his eyes. “I've told you several times already. They're heroes of Earth, on a quest. And they've brought your son with them; surely you recognize _him._ Or are you finally going senile?”

The woman in the peacock throne went stiff, leaning forward to stare at them as Heracles dropped to one knee beside Steve. She smiled warmly, but her eyes were cold. “You brought Heracles here? Wher _ever_ did you find him?”

“You know _exactly_ where he was, Hera!” That speaker was a young man in nothing but a winged cap and shoes, who was seated sideways in a throne that crawled with lines of moving text. “You put him there, after all. I'd have picked him up myself, but I can't lift him.”

“You can barely lift yourself from your _seat,_ Hermes.” That was a blindingly beautiful man with a lyre, whose throne was covered in gold. “Some messenger of the gods you are.”

“That's rich coming from you. Driven any girls to turn into trees lately, Apollo?”

“Oh, as if _I'm_ the only one here who's ever done that.”

“Boys.” Hera shot them a quelling look and then turned to Zeus and said, “Your sons need to learn to behave themselves in front of company.”

“They're grown men,” Zeus said mildly. “I can't tell them what to do all the time.”

The occupant of the silver throne next to Apollo's, a young woman draped in furs and white linen, rolled her eyes. “So you've brought us back our _fine_ mortal brother, my uncle Poseidon. But these heroes of Earth, who's to claim them? Whose champions are they? You've given them favors, but obviously they're not yours. They don't stink of fish.”

“I have made no claims, Artemis.” Poseidon smiled pleasantly at her. “I'm simply pleased to see heroes of Earth once again, and to help them on their quest.”

A blonde woman with shrewd gray eyes lifted the visor on the helmet that was the only thing she wore to look at them closer. “Clearly they're mine. That one certainly is, at least.” She pointed at Steve, smiling. “I know you, Steve Rogers of Earth. A warrior who carries a shield but no weapon. You are a champion close to my heart.”

“Not at all, Athena!” This muscular man's voice was overloud, louder even than Heracles. “Clearly as warriors they are _mine._ They are fighters of battles, and thus they fall under _my_ domain!”

“Don't be absurd, Ares. The hoplite is obviously _mine._ ” That was a man who looked startlingly like Tony, and whose wrought-iron throne moved forward on many tiny legs so that he could see them more closely. “You're Tony Stark, yes? I'm Hephaestus. I'm a great fan of your work.”

Tony blinked, retracting the faceplate on his armor. “Um. Thanks?”

“I beg to differ, Hephaestus.” Athena didn't look at all pleased by this development. “He's a champion of the mind. Therefore he's mine.”

At that point everyone started shouting. It got very confusing.

After a moment the woman who had greeted them came over. She raised Heracles to his feet and kissed him on the cheek, beaming. “It's a pleasure to see you home, my nephew.”

He shuffled his feet like a schoolboy, a blush rising in his cheeks. “Likewise, Hestia. It is a pleasure to be home.”

“Your father and the others will be arguing for some time yet, of course.” To the others, she said, “My name is Hestia. I am the goddess of the hearth, and no matter what the others may say, you will all forever be my champions, for you do what you do in defense of your homes and your loved ones. You are all welcome in the house of Olympus.”

Steve pulled his cowl off, going slightly pink. “It's a pleasure, ma'am. I'm—”

“Steve Rogers of Earth. I know all your names. They don't think I watch, but I do. I watch more closely than any of them.” Hestia beckoned to them. “The others will be fighting for some time yet. There'll be a feast of course, to welcome you, but not for a few hours. Come on, I'll show you to your chambers.”

\--

There _was_ a feast that night, a riotous one that lasted so long that by the time they were all returning to their rooms again it was no longer night but morning. Great tales of heroic deeds were told, battles were recounted, Heracles shouted a lot, and the gods of Olympus did a great deal of arguing. The Avengers and their companions found themselves in the odd position of being simultaneously the center of attention and completely unnoticed: they were often called on to tell stories of their own exploits, but said stories were frequently interrupted by one god or another, either because the god in question had been reminded of something or because it was time for another argument. Most of the _arguments,_ certainly, revolved around them. Specifically, the arguments were almost all the _same_ argument. Almost every god wanted to claim one or the other of them as champions, or to take credit in some way for their various heroic actions. The only gods who _didn't_ want to claim them were Demeter (who was sweet-tempered and kind and spent most of the time fussing about her daughter's upcoming visit), Poseidon (who was content to simply flirt with Jennifer), and Hera (who watched all the women like a hawk while never really coming out and _saying_ anything to them).

That initial feast finally came to an end sometime well past midnight, when in the midst of an argument Athena shouted, “You can't have _all_ of them, Ares! What about Bruce Banner?” She gestured to Bruce, who looked up, startled. “He's a wise man! _Clearly_ he, of all of them, is _mine!_ ” A pause. “And possibly the fine Zatanna Zatara, but of all of the heroes of Earth she is the only one to whom Hecate has such an obvious claim, and my cousin has had no champion for a long time.”

“ _Him?_ He is the _greatest_ of my champions!” Ares leaped from his seat and moved in _very_ close to Bruce, towering over him while managing _simultaneously_ to get in his face. “Bruce Banner of Earth! Show us your true face!”

Bruce coughed. “I, ah, I don't think that would be such a—”

“Show us the visage of war!”

Ares tossed his head back and roared. Heracles jumped to his feet, angry, but before he was able to say anything Bruce had already gotten up, shaking, his skin turning faintly green. “It's not something I like to do in crowded places. It tends to make a mess.”

There was a sharp snapping noise, and everyone looked up to see that Hera had clapped, quickly, a warm smile on her face that did not quite meet her eyes. “There will be no mess-making tonight, my friends and family. I think we've all had _quite_ enough to eat.”

Ares roared again in frustration, Heracles sighed in relief, and Bruce shaded slowly back to pink, breathing heavily.

Zeus glanced at Hera nervously and said, “Good night, heroes of Earth. We will see you in the morning.”

\--

Natasha woke up unusually late the next morning and went through her training routine quietly while Clint slept in the bed behind her. The sun was bright, the air smelled of salt and seaweed, and despite feeling slightly overfull from the night's feast it was still easy to go through the standard stretches, exercises, and forms as if this were a normal mission. It practically _was_ a normal mission, by Avengers standards, and it wasn't as if she _hadn't_ gone through this same routine in many other sumptuously appointed suites in many other exotic locales.

When she finished her push-ups she found that there was a man she did not know sitting in one corner of the room, watching her. He wasn't hostile, not as far as she could tell, but he eyed her with some interest, and the shadows in the corner gathered around him like a cloak. Unlike many of the other people she had met on Olympus, he was also fully clothed. That was something of a relief; one did on occasion get tired of dealing with the casual nudity of others.

She quirked an eyebrow at him. “Yes?”

The man in the shadows smiled. His teeth were set with gems. “Poseidon tells me that you and your friends are here to steal something from our dear brother.”

“I can neither confirm nor deny that.” She grabbed a towel from the small cabinet near the bed and wrapped it around her hair, still watching him.

“Oh, don't be _coy._ Poseidon heard you. You're here for the crown.” The man grinned his jewel-filled grin. “I'm here to offer you my _full_ support. I, by the way, am—”

“Hades. I'd guessed.”

“You had a classical education, then?”

“Lot of free time on stakeouts. What kind of support? Is this moral support only, or do you actually want to do something?”

“Ms. Romanov, I've _always_ supported you in your endeavours. You may be the finest example of humanity I've ever had the pleasure of working with.”

“That doesn't answer my question.”

“Direct physical support, of course. You _want_ the crown. I don't want my dear brother to _have_ the crown. I know how you can _get_ the crown. I'll tell you what you need to do, and then I'll help you do it.”

“What's in it for you?”

A ruby gleamed in one of Hades' canines. “Revenge.”

“We're not here to kill him.”

“I don't _want_ you to kill him.” He rolled his eyes, though his grin didn't diminish. “I want you to turn that self-interested philanderer's balls bluer than a star sapphire. It'll make a good laugh. Honestly we don't get much entertainment here.”

She watched him for a moment silently and then nodded. “What's your information?”

\--

Much like on the island of the Amazons, the entirety of that day was spend in a variety of rapidly organized games and contests, which the gods of Olympus were apparently very keen on. They ran races, fought mock battles, had a great deal of poetry read at them, and were given a lot of food and wine, all of which was enjoyable if a bit exhausting. Then in the evening came another feast, with more arguing—this one ended with the _actual_ arrival of the Hulk, a table getting demolished, and Diana throwing Apollo across the room and _into_ his sister.

Hera had relaxed somewhat around the women by this time, and even after the mess of the feast had been cleared away she spent some time talking to Jennifer and Diana, both of whom she seemed to like a great deal. “You're fine women,” she said to them, smiling. “It's good to see women doing for themselves and getting ahead in the world. It was good to see Apollo getting a bit of an upset; he goes on _so_ much.” Her eyes gleamed with delight. “Are either of you two married?”

They both shook their heads, and Jennifer said, “Not seeing anyone at the moment. Mainly I'm here to keep an eye on Bruce.”

“Yes. Bruce and the sorceress.” Hera looked over at where Bruce and Zatanna stood in the corner, heads together, Bruce still breathing heavily from the Hulk's rapid arrival and departure. “You watch that woman closely. I don't trust her.”

Jennifer and Diana glanced at each other and frowned, and Diana said, “Why not? She's an excellent sorceress and a good woman.”

“Because of _him._ ” Hera gestured to Zeus, rolling her eyes. “The philandering dog.”

\--

They met in Natasha and Clint's room when the last of the feast had been dispersed, and the first thing Clint said when Natasha told them the plan was, “ _What?_ You mean there was just _some guy_ in our room and you didn't wake me up? Wait, there was some guy in our room and I didn't _wake_ up. _That's_ a problem.”

“It was Hades, Clint.” Diana looked amused. “Hades passes unseen and unnoticed. It's sort of his thing.”

Thor nodded his agreement. “He is powerful, and strange in his ways.”

Tony was frowning. “How do we know we can trust this guy? Why would he help us?”

Natasha shrugged. “Spite. He said he doesn't like Zeus. He seemed sincere enough.”

“They have a long history of not getting along,” from Diana again.

“And Natasha, you said...he'll be here with his wife?” Steve just looked confused. “Is she involved in this?”

“Not at all. Just a bystander. Now, at tomorrow's feast, you'll all need to distract the other gods while Zatanna and I get Zeus' attention...”

\--

Hades made an official arrival at Mount Olympus the next day, his chariot emerging from the _ground_ in front of the palace. He was accompanied by a woman who looked _much_ younger than him, barely older than twenty. She wore several garlands of vines, which burst into riotous bloom as she set foot on the palace steps. The other gods had come out to meet them, and Demeter rushed forward and swept the young woman up in her arms. “Persephone, it's been so _long._ ”

Hades laughed pleasantly, and Persephone smiled and said, “It's only been a week, Mother. It hasn't been so long.”

“Oh, but I _wither_ when you're away, my daughter. Has that _man_ told you that we have company?” Demeter gestured to Steve and the others. “We have _heroes_ visiting! Isn't that exciting, dear?”

“I heard about them, Mother. I do keep an eye on things, you know.” Persephone disentangled herself from her mother's embrace and curtsied politely to Natasha and Clint. “The Widow and the Hawk. My husband's told me all about you.”

Clint blinked, and bowed when Diana elbowed him. “He has? Really?”

“Oh yes. He's a big fan.” She leaned forward with a conspiratorial smile and whispered, “We get out more than my family here. Your world is _dreadfully_ exciting.”

“Well, uh...it's nice to meet you too.”

Nearby, Zeus coughed impatiently, and Persephone whirled and threw herself into his arms. “Uncle! It's so good to see you again!”

He beamed at her, his crown gleaming in the light. “You brighten the mountain, my girl. We've planned a glorious feast for you tonight.” Then he looked at Hades with narrowed eyes. “Will _you_ be staying, my brother?”

“Why, of _course,_ my brother.” Hades grinned a jewel-filled grin. “I wouldn't miss a glorious feast for all the gems in the underworld.”

\--

The feast that night was, indeed, grander than any that had been thrown for the Avengers by themselves. The tables were laden with all manner of fruits and vegetables, flowers burst into bloom on every column, and there were, at one count, at least fifteen different wines on offer. Of course meat was _also_ on offer, but most of the gods weren't indulging, apparently in deference to Persephone, who ate fruit in vast quantities and laughed prettily at most things.

Midway through the meal, at a discreet nod from Natasha, the Avengers dispersed throughout the room to talk with the gods. Tony made a beeline for Hephaestus, who welcomed him with a wide grin and a wave of one hand—specifically a robotic hand attached to his throne. Bruce located Apollo, on the premise of having something to discuss on a medical topic. Diana went to speak to Artemis, Jennifer to Athena, Clint caught Dionysus' attention with a discussion about craft beers, and Steve kept Persephone and Aphrodite entertained with stories while Thor set to a series of arm-wrestling matches with Ares and Heracles that looked about ready to destroy another table.

When the others had dispersed, Natasha and Zatanna looked up and caught Hades' eye, and he oiled from his seat and moved towards where Hera sat resplendent on her throne. She smiled at his approach, and he caught one of her hands in both of his and said, “My dear sister, it's such a pleasure to see you again.”

Tony and the others watched nervously out of the corners of their eyes as Natasha and Zatanna stumbled up to Zeus, giggling the ingratiating giggles of the flirtatious and slightly drunk.

They talked.

They moved closer. Zeus smiled, his face red with wine.

They talked some more.

Then it seemed that everyone moved at once to check on Hera, who was now deep in conversation with Hades, and when they looked back, Zeus and Natasha and Zatanna were gone. None of the gods seemed to notice the absense; Thor in particularly was now so wrapped up in his arm-wrestling bout that he hadn't even looked up when the others had. The only one able to maintain a complete semblance of calm was Clint, who'd been involved in plenty of covert operations before. Even Diana looked nervous.

The minutes stretched out, and then, when it seemed it must have been an hour, Natasha suddenly materialized next to Steve's elbow and said, “Zatanna has it. Zeus thinks we're coming back. We need to go.”

As quickly as possible they made their excuses. Their things had been taken secretly to the ship earlier that day, not that they had much to carry, and that turned out to be good—somehow the walk _away_ from the palace was much longer than the walk _to_ it had been. The way was dark, too, as if the mountain itself knew that they were stealing away with one of the great treasures of the gods.

When they reached the ship, the gangplank lowered, and Argo's soft voice said, “Board, quickly. Your theft will soon be discovered. I am ordered by my lord to take you swiftly and silently to the far shore.”

As the ship pulled away from the shore and swung out to take them back the way they'd come, Zatanna lifted up her top hat and pulled Zeus' crown from underneath it. Even in the low light of night it gleamed astoundingly, and the others gathered around her to stare at it in her hands. She smiled, nervously. “It feels...strange, to hold. Like it's got a life of its own.”

“Well, it belonged to a god.” Bruce ran a finger along the edge of one gold leaf. “Maybe it does.”

Thor was frowning at the yellow gem that surmounted the front of the crown. “I feel as if there is something here that I should be remembering. Something about this gem stirs something in my mind.” A pause. “...I do not know. It's probably nothing important.”

A roar of anger split the air, and they turned, startled, to see that Mount Olympus was suddenly ringed in stormy gray clouds and crackling with lightning.

“You are found out,” whispered the Argo. “We must fly.”


	6. Unpleasant Surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Avengers must flee from Olympus, having stolen a great treasure of the gods. What awaits them when they get home?

This time the ship took them by a different route, one where they passed no islands and made no stops. They sailed day and night, day and night, whipping smoothly over the surface of the water. Argo kept them updated with what was happening on the ocean behind them: “We are pursued. They seek us. We are hidden; Poseidon and Hades work together to conceal us. They have sent hunters. They have sent Heracles. They have sent Ares. We are pursued.”

Zeus' crown sat on a barrel belowdecks, twinkling every time someone went to check on it even when no light shone in the storage cabin. Thor spent a good deal of time there, staring at the yellow gem as if it distressed him, still muttering on occasion that there was something he felt he should be remembering.

Two days into the journey back, Steve found himself gazing at a dark storm cloud that followed their ship, and he said, “Argo, how much more of the journey is there?”

“Two days after this one, Steve Rogers of Earth. I can sail no faster than that.”

“And you're sure they're not going to catch up with us?”

“We are pursued, Steve Rogers of Earth. But I am the finer ship, and Heracles and Ares are both poor sailors. If they worked together, then perhaps they could catch us. But they will remain forever divided, as it is not in their nature to love each other.”

“And that storm? Will we be able to stay ahead of that?”

There was a pause, and then Argo said, “There are many storms ahead for you and yours, Steve Rogers. But that is not one of them.”

\--

Two days after that, the Argo actually ran aground on the beach with the shining gate where they had first entered Olympus, and the gangplank lowered. They spilled out of the ship in a hurry, Zatanna concealing the crown underneath her hat again, while behind them the storm clouds rolled and sparked.

The first drops of rain touched their faces as they reached the gate, and thunder rolled. Tony rolled the neck joints on his armor. “Thor? Open the gate before this storm gets here and rusts me shut.”

Thor rushed forward. This time he opened the gate not with a gentle touch but with a powerful slam, and it burst open with a snap of lightning that rolled unexpectedly over his skin before grounding in the sand. As they pushed through the gate, too, the rain began to fall, and there was another ominous roll of thunder. Bruce, glancing over his shoulder, saw a ship cresting a wave on the horizon, with another ship close behind it, making with all haste towards the shore.

\--

They stumbled through the gate and onto the mountaintop, and behind them it slammed shut. Before anyone else could say anything, Thor pulled his hammer from his belt, raised it high, and calling down a mighty strike of lightning, which flowed through the gate. There was a sizzling noise from the spot where a lock would have been, and he smiled grimly. “It will take them some time to follow us through that gate now. By the time they get through we will be done with this benighted quest, and they will have to take their quarrel to my brother.”

“Zatanna.” Diana shook rainwater from her lasso, frowning. “You have the crown?”

Zatanna grinned. “Right here. But keep it under your hat.”

“That joke was so bad that I _almost_ think the earth should be swallowing you up right about now.”

The group jumped, startled, and turned to see who had spoken.

Simon was perched on a rock nearby, in his formal dress, grinning at them. His mask swirled with colors, and his rainbow-colored hair was wild and bright. He had his green-shod feet propped up on another rock, but when he saw that everyone was paying attention to him he stood, giving them a little finger-wave even as he said, “So it _took_ you long enough.”

Tony scowled. “It's barely been two weeks, Bobby. You want us to get there and back in a day, have your boss take us.”

“Tony, you know he'd _love_ to—”

“Spare us the crude jokes.” Steve sighed. “Are you here to pick up the crown for Loki?”

“World's sexiest courier, right here.” Simon held out a hand. “So, if you please...”

Zatanna reached for her hat, paused, and then produced the crown when Steve nodded at her. “Here.”

“Ooh...” Simon accepted it from her with great delicacy, beaming as the light from the gems reflected on his face. “Aren't you a picture, you pretty thing. You pretty, _pretty_ thing.” Carefully he brushed his fingers over the inset gems, lingering especially on the yellow gem in the front. Then, abruptly, he nodded and bowed deeply to them. “Avengers, consider your debt to Loki discharged. You owe no more.”

Steve glanced uncertainly at Thor, who bowed in return. “Our debt is paid.”

“And now that _that's_ over with...” Simon twirled the crown on his hand and leapt into the air. “You guys might want to head home. You did take an _awfully_ long time. See you all later!”

Before anyone could ask him what he meant by that, he had flown away.

Near the back of the group, Natasha frowned, lowering her phone from her ear. “I can't reach Wyatt, and nobody's answering at the mansion.”

Clint frowned. “Not even Susan? Or one of the hotline people?”

“Nobody.”

Surprised and frustrated, the group began to make their way down the mountain on foot, assisted primarily by Zatanna, who was able to teleport them forward several times as long as she had time to rest in between each spell.

When they neared the bottom of the mountain, those who could fly took passengers, and those with enhanced strength and endurance ran the rest of the way. The guesthouse they'd passed on the way had seemed unusually dark, and it was their hope to find some answers about the unusual silence and lack of hikers in Litochoro. They'd barely been gone for two weeks; what was so dire that it could have rendered things so silent so suddenly?

Jennifer stared out over the darkened town and frowned. “Something's wrong.”

Tony nodded, the faceplate of his armor folding down to conceal him. “Jarvis, get the satellites. What's the news? What did we miss?”

They heard Jarvis' voice murmuring inside Tony's helmet, and began slowly moving into the town, searching for lights—any lights at all.

There were none. Not all of the buildings looked abandoned, but many were darker than they had been. They remembered passing through a lively town, not this graveyard-silent place.

Tony was growing restless. “Jarvis, repeat that. No, not the news item, the _date._ That can't be right.” A long pause. “No, look, that _can't_ be right.”

Steve looked over at him, puzzled. “What's wrong, Tony?”

“Jarvis tells me that it's—Steve!”

The energy blast took them completely by surprise; Tony knocked Steve out of the way, Thor grabbed his hammer from his belt, and Bruce swelled into green vastness before anyone had registered what had fired on them.

When they _did_ see what it was, though, several of them began to swear sulfurously, and Diana said something in Greek that made Thor blink at her in surprise. “You do not normally speak so, fair Amazon.”

“I'm not normally _enraged_ so, my thunderer.” She pulled the lasso from her belt, scowling.

Doombots were pouring from several of the nearby buildings. Instead of the standard green tunic and cloak, however, they wore the sharp green uniforms of the Latverian military, and they were all surrounded by some faint green-gold aura. The one which had fired on them stepped forward, servos whirring, its LED eyes cold.

“Surrender, undesirables,” it said. “You trespass upon the lands of World-Emperor Doom.”

“Tony.” Steve pulled his shield from his back and slid it onto his arm, staring at the crowd of robots. “What did Jarvis tell you?”

“It was a problem with the calendar functions. He said it's been—”

“A _year._ ” Diana had paused to count on her fingers, looking horrified. “Persephone said she hadn't seen her mother in almost a _week,_ but she spends six _months_ of each year in the Underworld...”

“Surrender, undesirables.” The Doombots were fanning into a formation.

Clint's bow was in his hand, an arrow already at the ready. “It's been a _year?_ And _Doom_ took over? What happened to everyone _else?_ ”

“Surrender, undesirables.”

“Will you _shut up,_ tin man?”

“Jarvis, what's—the Fantastic Four are missing following some kind of mission they announced to one of those alternate Earths Reed likes so much. The X-Men are on lockdown at the Institute after they had to fend off a raid for _experimental test subjects—_ Summers must be _livid,_ and I don't even want to _know_ what kind of a mood Emma's in. The kids are off on some thing with their friends from Diana's place, most of the other Avengers have been _arrested—_ ”

“Surrender, undesirables.”

“Guys?” Jennifer had slid one foot back, and she was watching the crowd of Doombots warily. “I don't think this is really a time for discussion.”

Steve nodded. “Agreed.” As they charged into battle, though, he bounced a blast of energy off his shield and shouted to Tony, “Summarize!”

“We were gone for a year,” Tony said, turning a midair backflip to dodge a Doombot's strike. “And Doom took over the world.”

**End of Part One**


	7. Interlude: Frogs and Scorpions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A brief intermission between acts. What happened on Earth while the Avengers were away?

Daken met her in a nightclub.

He'd spent two weeks at Loki's house before leaving, combing through the library by day and sharing the bed by night until he became disgusted with himself. Good food and regular sex were all very well, but really, he could get those anywhere with minimal effort, and he wasn't a pet to be _kept._ Surprisingly, Loki hadn't argued at all when he'd said he was leaving; in fact, he'd barely acknowledged it, as if it didn't matter to him whether Daken stayed or left. Simon had of course fussed terribly, but then Simon was always fussing terribly about something, so that was hardly noteworthy. They'd said nothing about the plan they'd explained to him on his first night there, or about the role they'd wanted him to play in it. They'd let him leave.

But that had been two and a half months ago, and now he was in Milan, doing some networking, and he didn't feel like sleeping alone. The nightclub he'd picked was expensive, and exclusive—he wouldn't be bothered unless he _decided_ he wanted to be bothered. That suited him _very_ well.

She was sitting by herself, watching the dancers with a catlike interest that he appreciated and sipping a glass of some kind of golden wine, and she smelled...familiar. Like he should know her. She _looked_ familiar, too, but not immediately recognizable. Perhaps she was the cousin of one of the men he'd been dealing with? It wouldn't have been an unreasonable thought.

He sat down at her table without being invited and gestured for more wine.

“You're bold.” Her accent was not Italian.

“I'm a lot of things.”

“I like that.” Her smile was full of perfect white teeth.

They drank their wine in silence, Daken watching the dancers and the woman watching _him._ She didn't flirt or sweet-talk, or, really, do much at all, but he kept up a continuous pheromone stream. She was too _interesting_ to leave alone.

Once they'd gone through a full battle, she stood up—she was unexpectedly tall—and moved as if she was going to leave. He almost protested, but before he could speak she reached for him, sliding a hand under his vest and taking hold of his belt. _Aggressive._ Pleased, he let her tow him out, feeling the heat of conquest low in his stomach.

At the door he said, “Aren't we going to pay for our drinks?”

“I never pay for anything.”

She took him back to an expensive hotel, not even glancing at the clerk who stared at them in the lobby. She was staying in the penthouse suite.

It smelled of ice and honey.

When he had her pressed up against the wall, his hand up her skirt and her scent in his nose, she smiled down at him and said, “Tell me, little claw, do you know the tale of the frog and the scorpion?”

He pulled back, bristling, as the pieces fell into place. “Loki.”

“Yes, little claw.” Her white teeth gleamed in the dim light of the room. “I have returned for my champion.”

Daken hissed. “You look different.”

“Does it shock you so much? It's only temporary. There are certain advantages to traveling in this form, and I have much work to do. So come, my chosen warrior. Take me to bed, and I will tell you of frogs and scorpions.”

Baffled, and angry at his own bafflement, Daken let Loki pull him into the bedroom and undress him. She left her fur stole on chair with her shoes beneath it, shrugged out of her dress, and drew him to her with a kiss that hurt. He hated her. He wanted to stab her. But he couldn't bring himself to extend his claws.

“My fine champion.” She pushed him toward the bed. “Once, little claw, a frog sat beside a raging river, and a scorpion came to him and asked to be ferried across.”

“You're telling fairy tales _now?_ ”

“Hush, little claw. I'd rather that you put your tongue to other uses and let me talk.”

He rolled his eyes, flipped her off, and buried his head between her legs.

She twisted her fingers in his hair and laughed. “So. The frog. The frog protests, he will not ferry the scorpion, he doesn't want to be stung—more _teeth,_ little claw. And the scorpion rebuts him, promising to be good, promising to be safe. Finally the frog relents— _yes,_ little claw, _just_ like that—and they begin to cross the river.

“But when they're halfway across the river, the frog feels a little _sting,_ and he knows that he's been poisoned, and he's dying. And he—mm, yes, do that again—he has the _audacity_ to ask why. Why would the scorpion sting him, when it condemns the scorpion to death as well?

“And the scorpion said, 'I can't help it. It's my nature.' And together they sank.”

She tugged on his hair, and he came up and licked his lips and said, “Does this fairy tale have a _point?_ ”

“There are two kinds of people in this world.” She kissed him hungrily, licking at his teeth as if she wished they were sharper. “There are frogs and scorpions. There are those who take and those who give. And while the scorpion did drown himself, remember that it was he who _ventured._ ”

“And of course you're a scorpion.” He growled as she climbed atop him, grabbing her hips and pulling her down.

“As are you, little claw. We are the rightful rulers of this and all worlds.”

“ _All_ worlds?” He didn't frown, but he wanted to. “You never mentioned—”

Her hand was in his hair again, her eyes flashing, suddenly furious. “They _killed_ me. And then they put a magpie and a mewling _child_ in my place. They would have had you as a useless junkie with no future ahead of you. They do not appreciate your worth, little claw, and some insults are not bearable.”

“What do _you_ know about my worth?”

“Why, Chosen of Loki, I'm going to make you king of the world. Isn't that clear enough?”

For a while, then, they stopped talking.

When they had finished Loki lay down besides him, wrapping a possessive arm around him in a way that made him tense and angry again. She even laid her head on his shoulder as if they were lovers, and murmured, “It's time for you to come home, little claw. My plan has been set in motion, and my priest will need company while I'm traveling. He gets so lonely.”

Daken rolled his eyes at the dark ceiling. “Just don't say he's a scorpion too.”

“Not at all, my chosen. He is precious in a different way. A poison dart frog. He gives, but what he gives can be laced with the deadliest poison.” She traced patterns on his chest with one long fingernail. “For now—sleep. And the world will fall tomorrow.”

\--

He woke the next morning to find himself back in Loki's house, in the big bed, with Simon curled up asleep next to him and Loki nowhere to be found. Something was thumping outside, and when he got up and looked out the window he saw that Doombots were already out in force, rolling over the city like an unstoppable tide of conquest. A few people were running and screaming, and he could hear distant sirens, but for the most part it was deathly silent but for the sound of robot feet on pavement. They bypassed Loki's house completely.

Behind him, in the bed, Simon rolled over and yawned. “Morning, Daken. Has Doom taken over yet?”

“That seems to be the case.”

“Good old Victor.” Simon yawned again and shifted over when Daken got back under the covers. “Always ready with world domination when you need him. I think I'm almost going to miss him, but plans are plans.”

“Where's Loki?”

“Off in space somewhere, getting those things he wanted.”

“She, the last time I saw.”

“I hate when he does that. Not as much as I hate when he does it to _me,_ but...anyway, I get you all to myself.”

Another thought, somehow far more worrying, occurred to Daken then. “I suppose it's too much to hope that she brought my things here as well.”

“ _Way_ too much to hope.” Simon grinned at him. “They're probably still back at wherever you were staying.”

“...some of those clothes were one of a kind.” The complaint sounded weak even to his own ears. “I took them off the models myself.”

“I'll make you new things.” Simon's hands stroked lazily up the scars where his inner claws had been. “First, though...we need to start doing something about these.”

He sneered. “There's nothing to be done.”

“ _I'll_ be the judge of that.” The priest looked pleased. “Loki left you a present.”

\--

_Two months later_

“Logan, dear.”

Logan took a sip of his first beer of the morning and lowered his copy of _Tarzan and the Jewels of Opar._ “Yeah, Ems?”

She narrowed her eyes at him over the top of her magazine and took a sip of coffee. “Why is your _appalling_ son besmirching a perfectly good issue of _Vogue Italia?_ ”

Logan shrugged. “I don't tell 'im what to do with his life.”

“Although...” She paused and peered down at the photo spread she'd been perusing. “He _does_ fill out the suit rather nicely.”

“Cradle robber.”

“Logan, dear, he's _older_ than me.”

“Save it for the judge, Cougar Town.”

Then there was a sound of something landing on the grass outside, many somethings, and the sudden shrieks of early-rising children evacuating the basketball court, and Scott leaned in through the door. “Look, can you two cut your regular morning class war short? We have Doombots on the west lawn.” 

\--

 _Seven months after that_

They found the remaining Avengers _literally_ underground, in a fortified bunker they'd built during the first Skrull invasion. There were depressingly few occupied rooms, and the TVs showed the news and nothing else. The only reason Steve and the others were able to get in at all was because Tony was able to pull a temporary security override that opened the doors.

It set off alarms anyway.

Tony started swearing, and the others hunted for a way to shut off the alarms until Steve was slide-tackled by Carol Danvers. They tumbled over together in a tangle of arms and legs and rolled until they hit a wall. Danvers had come out on top, and she reared back, ready to throw a punch, and then said, “Wait. Rogers?”

“Danvers, if you punch me I'll have you court-martialed.”

“I'll have _you_ court-martialed, you star-spangled bastard, where the _hell_ have you all been?”

“Time dilation effect.” Bruce had located the control panel and was shutting down the alarms and locking the bunker again. “We only thought we were gone for two weeks.”

“Gone _where?_ ”

“Olympus. Hi, Carol.” Diana waved to her. “We were running an errand for Loki.”

“Any particular reason _why?_ ”

Thor shifted awkwardly. “We...owed him a favor?”

“And whose brilliant plan was _that?_ ”

Everyone pointed to Tony, who said, “How is this _my_ fault? It's at least _also_ Steve's fault, he helped make the deal too!”

Danvers rolled her eyes at them and stood, helping Steve up as well. “Look, we're down to a skeleton crew here. You didn't try to go to New York, did you?”

“We did. We got run off by Doombots before we could get anywhere near the place. Don't know how they got so strong.” Tony paused. “...do you know where Pepper is?”

“She's...she's been in touch with us. She's fine, actually. Doom cracked down on the supers, he doesn't really care about adjuncts.” She brushed herself off. “Look, just...come on in and I'll brief you. We have about half of a game plan for dealing with this, but we could _really_ use your help.”

Zatanna frowned. “What about Diana's and my side of things? Do you know if anything's happening there?”

“...no. The dimensional barriers are sealed tight. We haven't been able to contact anyone in six months.”

– 

The golden wreath that Simon had brought back from his “quick run to Greece” puzzled Daken. It sat on the mantel underneath a portrait of Loki, gleaming even when no light hit it and completely untouched. Simon had set it there and then proceeded to completely ignore it, not even bothering to explain what it was supposed to be for.

The situation at the house was...frustrating. It wasn't that there weren't things to occupy him; he and Simon spent a great deal of time working out details of the continuing plan, and there were his _own_ plans to consider as well—they were coming along _very_ nicely. Simon had also worked his healing magic and bestowed upon him Loki's “gift,” which was at least _interesting._ There were the frequent digressions into the realm of fashion design, which were tolerably entertaining. No, the problem was that Simon was not under his _control._ The other man was endlessly cheerful and pliable, doing everything Daken told him to do and making few demands of his own, but there was a sense that he was always _laughing._ That this was somehow a game. It wasn't reasonable, and it wasn't right, and he honestly wasn't sure why he was needed _here_ at the house except to keep Simon's mind occupied.

He wasn't a _pet._

Then, of course, three days after the crown had been placed on the mantel, Simon collapsed in the kitchen in the middle of making lunch. His eyes were wide, and filmed with an unearthly, unnatural blue. When Daken helped him stand, Simon stared at him unseeing, shivering despite the day's warmth. “Do you see how the little betrayer approaches, my love?” His voice was not his own—deep, hollow, full of a nastiness that Daken didn't think Simon possessed. “Watch me crush the betrayer's mind. I will do it for your amusement, my love.”

Frowning, Daken picked the other man up and carried him to the couch in the living room. Was this some part of Loki's plan?

“Do you think to trick me with your female guise, betrayer? Your form matters not. I will crush you regardless.”

Daken finished making lunch himself. Simon ate nothing, did not even respond when Daken spoke to him.

“You cannot hide your mind from me, betrayer. I feel you. I feel your weakness. You've grown soft in your cowardice.”

By the time Daken wanted dinner, he wasn't sure whether to be irritated or worried.

“I shall—betrayer, you do not respond to me. Speak when addressed by your betters! Why do you not speak? When I found you first you were forever speaking.”

At midnight, lying in bed reading, Daken felt movement and saw that Simon was now twisting restlessly, blue light spilling from his eyes.

“What...what is this deception? How have you hid your—it is not _your mind!_ Betrayer, you have—”

Simon let out a scream in the hollow voice and convulsed, eyes wide. The blue light intensified until it illuminated the whole room, drowning out the yellow of the nightstand lamp.

Then, abruptly, the light turned _green,_ and Simon said in _Loki's_ voice, “Lover of death, it is never wise to underestimate me. I have more power than you could possibly comprehend in all your years of study. And I will not be crushed.”

And the light ceased as suddenly as it had begun.

Daken stared. “What the _hell_ was that?”

“Oh, _Loki,_ that _sucked._ ” Simon pinched the bridge of his nose, wincing, his voice weak. “Well, three down, three to go. Time for phase two. Get me some Advil, babe? I am in _agony._ ”

“Three of _what?_ ”

“Things Loki wants. Advil? Please?”

“ _Tell_ me or I'll _skewer_ you.”

“Ok, ok, grouchy. Get me some Advil and I'll explain.”

\--

_And a month further on_

The headline on the screen screamed, “DOOM ASSASSINATED!” and came complete with a long shot of Victor von Doom's body, scarred face finally revealed and angry even in death. Then the shots of Doombots the world over failing suddenly, falling from the sky or collapsing on the ground. There were shots of people crying, of people cheering, of people hugging each other as the news was announced. In some places it seemed that the sun was coming out for the first time in months.

Natasha, who was the current monitor, could feel the shock and relief traveling around the base. They'd been holed up for a month now, trying to come up with a game plan to take out Doom. Every skirmish with the unexpectedly powerful Doombots had ended in bizarre and humiliating defeat. Their plans had been altered again and again without success.

Then the picture changed again, and Natasha watched for a moment and then leaned back in her seat and turned to call out, “Logan, why is your son getting a medal on national television?”

“I don't—he's getting a _what?_ ”


	8. Young Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beginning of part two. The Young Avengers and their friends the Teen Titans return from a sojourn into the past to discover that there were a lot of changes while they were away.

In a field in New Jersey, the air briefly distorted as if with great heat, and then suddenly resolved into a medium-sized crowd of teenage superheroes, who landed on the ground with a slight thump and collectively winced. They spent a few minutes simply pacing and stretching their legs—except, that is, for Jaime, who was occupied with trying to stow their small time machine back in its case and having a bit of trouble. After a moment several of the others went to help him, and they eventually managed to get the device put away with no apparent breakage.

Once everyone was done stretching, they gathered into a huddle again. Tommy leaned into the circle with a steely glare. “Dude. Not cool. You hit on my _grandfather._ ”

Merlin blushed vividly. “You said create a diversion! And besides, _Michael Fassbender._ It's just, I couldn't...Michael Fassbender! He's just, he's so...”

“I don't even know who that is, man.”

“You know, Lin, creating a diversion doesn't _always_ have to mean hitting on someone.” Bart patted him on the shoulder. “You could try doing something else.”

“Like _what?_ The lamby lamb dance?” Merlin's blush had started to creep up his ears. “Besides, I mean, he was _really..._ he was...I mean...”

The others watched him, waiting for him to finish the sentence. It was clear fairly quickly that the sentence wasn't going to get finished, though, and after a moment Gar grinned and said, “Oh, look!”

“Don't do it.”

Teddy caught Gar's eye and nodded. “Lin's in love.”

“Shut _up,_ Teddy!”

Kate and Cassandra Sandsmark clasped their hands under their chins and said, in unison, “And for the first time today!”

Merlin sighed heavily. “I hate you all.”

Jackson looked up from his phone and said, solemnly, “They do have a point. It happens a lot.”

“It _so_ does not!”

Billy grinned. “It kinda does. Remember the time you kissed Tim?”

Teddy nodded. “And then Kon almost punched you.”

Kon shuffled his feet awkwardly.

“That was Amora's stupid sex pollen!”

“Or the time you hit on Talia al'Ghul.” Tim didn't even _bother_ looking up from his phone, on which he appeared to be tracking something.

“Well, wouldn't _you?_ ”

The response, from several of the other team members, was a resounding “No!”

The others seemed to have been counting on their fingers as they went through Merlin's various romantic misadventures, and Jaime piped up with, “Or there was that thing where you slept with the captain of the Shi'ar Imperial Guard.”

“Hey, she was _really_ nice. Even if she did try to have us all killed later.”

“And there _was_ the _other_ time you kissed Catman.” Stephanie was grinning beneath her cowl.

“That was...we have history.”

“In your fevered dreams, my nervous friend.”

“Anyway what about the time Tommy went off with that alien chick who tried to eat his pineal gland?”

Tommy went stiff. “Dude! We don't _talk_ about that! Bro code, man!”

“I'm not your bro!”

Kate rolled her eyes. “Admit it, Lin. You fall in love like Billy and Teddy buy comics. _Constantly._ ”

“If you'd just go out with me this wouldn't be a problem!”

“I'll go out with you.”

Startled, everyone turned to stare at Noh-Varr, who hadn't spoken since they'd returned from the past. Merlin swallowed hard and said, “Wait, what? Really?”

Noh-Varr shrugged, smiling faintly. “Certainly. If I'm going to found a new Kree Empire I'll need at _least_ one consort. You're passably attractive, you have useful information, and you're the least likely to plot my overthrow.”

This was mostly the occasion for more staring. Merlin shuffled his feet, abashed, and then blinked. “Wait, have you _thought_ about this?”

“In detail. I can show you the flow chart if you like. I was going to tell you tomorrow, actually, but I suppose this just give us an extra day.”

“I'm not helping you found a new Kree Empire.”

“I'll talk you around.” Noh-Varr's smile had gone smug. “In bed.”

Tommy had been watching this conversation with a look of some distress on his face, and now he finally buried his face in his hands. “Oh god. Why am I running out of straight male friends?”

Gar and Bart both raised hands, and Bart said, “We're both straight.”

“Ok, for one, Bart, you're only _kind of_ straight. And also I meant in my own dimension. I'm running out of people to talk about chicks with at midnight.”

“Oh.” Bart nodded. “Right. We can't really help with that until we get our cell phones working cross-dimension consistently.”

Noh-Varr was looking across the circle, where the girls had all begun to laugh hysterically. “I seem to have killed the girls. Ladies? Are you all right?”

They all glanced at him and then keeled over again, laughing. After a moment, Stephanie managed to gasp out, “Oh...oh, it's just...”

Even Raven was beaming. “You and Merlin...”

“You're so _cute._ ” Cass looked like she was going to die of amusement.

Merlin was the one with his hands over his face now, but he peeked out from behind his fingers and froze. “Oh god. Kate, what are you doing?”

“I'm texting Clint.” She'd gotten her phone out, and was typing rapidly with her thumbs. “He was worried about whether you were ever going to find someone.”

“Don't text my dad about this! Just because, just because _Noh-Varr_ says we're...I haven't said yes to anything yet!”

From Noh-Varr, pleasantly, “You haven't said no, either.”

“That's because I'm saying _maybe!_ ”

“I can work with maybe. I'm a diplomat, I have training.”

Victor, who had until now been mostly silent—even his laughter had been quiet—spoke up, finally. “Guys, as funny as this all is, don't you think we should maybe, you know...get back to the base?”

“Rightright! Yeahyeah! Gotta go get some lunch.” Bart grinned. “HeySpeedweshouldracethere.”

“Soundsgoodtomecatchyousuckerslaterlastonetherehastogetlunch!”

Tommy and Bart blurred and were off to the city.

Billy blinked as he lifted the non-flyers into the air. “I think sometimes they scare me more than every villain I've ever fought.”

Stephanie shrugged. “I think they're cute. Like annoying cousins.”

They flew into New York at what was for them a relatively leisurely pace, those who could fly drifting alongside the blue disk that Billy had conjured and occasionally turning cheerful loops in the air. Something about the city seemed subtly different as they entered, though. At first it was hard to pinpoint. There wasn't an unusual amount of construction. Traffic was bad, which was to say normal. People were going about business as usual.

Then Tim frowned. “Nobody seems very pleased to see us.”

That was it. The Young Avengers weren't a _very_ common sight on the streets of New York City, but they were known and liked, and the Teen Titans visited them regularly enough that they were known as well. Normally people waved as the Young Titans went past, or at least looked happy to see them. Now, though, when the passersby on the street looked up at them, it was with frowns and distrust. One person even spat as they went by, and Teddy stared in shock. “Did we do something? What happened while we were gone?”

“I don't know...” Raven was frowning. “Everything _feels_ different.”

When they landed at the Bishop Publishing building, they found that Bart and Tommy had, improbably, not arrived yet—and that the front door was chained shut. Or perhaps it was that the speedsters had been and left, because when Kate started inspecting the padlock the door shook, and Bart vibrated through it, looking _extremely_ distressed. “Oksowedon'tknowwhat'sgoingonbuteverything'slockeddownandtheMansionisclosedso—”

“Bart!” Jaime grabbed his hand, startled. “Slow down, man. What's going on?”

“I-I-I-I...okI'moknow. So. We got here and it was locked and so we went to the Mansion but that's all locked down too, and we're not sure what's going on at all and when we tried to ask a guy at a store what was up he said he didn't want supers there—”

Now Billy was definitely looking worried. “Where's my brother?”

“He said he was going to go check on Ms. Pepper.”

Barely ten seconds later, just as Tim and Stephanie were getting the padlock off the door, Tommy blurred into view and skidded to a stop besides Bart. “SoPepper'sokandIcheckedontheKaplansbutIcan'tfindanyoneelse.”

“Was Miss Potts able to tell you anything?” Even Noh-Varr was looking concerned—no matter what else they might occasionally disagree on, all of the young heroes adored Pepper, and it was only worse for the three of them who actually lived with her.

“Icouldn'ttalktohershewas-busy-but-anyway-she-wasn't-kidnapped or anything so that's good.” Tommy huffed, coming back down to a relatively normal speed with apparent difficulty. “She didn't, I mean, I don't think she even noticed me. She was in a meeting.”

“So you didn't manage to find out what's going on.”

“Not _even_ a little.”

Kon frowned, lifting his head. “I can hear someone. Noh-Varr, can you hear someone moving around? I'm pretty sure someone's watching us.”

Noh-Varr tilted his head, listened, and Gar sniffed the air and then pointed and said, “Over there!”

A flicker of movement and before anyone else could think of what to do, Billy raised a hand and fired out a lash of blue lightning. It didn't _strike_ its target, but wrapped around him, dragging him towards the group and then slamming him into the wall next to the door. The others started back, and then Kate saw who it was and snarled, “Bullseye.”

Bullseye cracked a breathless grin. “Heya, girlie. You bored with Bird Boy yet? Because if you're interested, I'm available.”

“You're _disgusting._ ”

“Aw, don't be like that, girlie, you know I don't mean it.” He leered. “Gotta say, though, Hawkguy's a pretty lucky—”

The assassin cut off mid-sentence, gasping, as Billy's magic lifted him and then slammed him into the wall again. The other heroes shied back further, startled. Billy's eyes were glowing blue, and his teeth were gritted. “Quickdraw. What's his name.”

Merlin started and pulled his visor up to stare. “Pardon?”

“This creep. What's his real name?”

“Um...Lester. Probably.”

Bullseye twisted, looking alarmed himself. “How'd you know that?”

“He knows things. Eyes on me.” Billy raised a hand, and blue lightning crackled into life around it. “We've been away for almost a year. Tell us what happened here.”

Bullseye shrugged, trying to regain his unpleasant grin. “Man, I gotta say, I guess I bring out this side in _all_ the—ow, _shit,_ kid, that was my _hand!_ ”

“It'll be your _head_ next, you have this nice _target_ there.” Billy grimaced. _“Talk.”_

“Man, the rumors are _true._ You really _are_ a diet Loki. Nn—hey, hey, don't hit me with lightning, I'm talking!” The assassin shifted nervously. “Look, nobody tells me anything. All I know is, the Avengers disppeared, Doom took over for a while—”

Teddy jumped. _“Doom?”_

“Yeah, yeah. So he took over, he made all you cape-and-tights assholes illegal, Daken killed him—”

M'gann frowned. “Wait. So Doom is now dead?”

“Dead as can be, girlie, gonna let me finish? _Daken_ killed him, and now everyone thinks _he_ walks on fucking water. So he runs shit now. _He_ told me to hang out here and wait for you.”

The young heroes all started muttering to each other, startled, and Tim said, “Did. Did he have a message for us?”

“Yeah.” Bullseye grimaced. “He said, come and get me.”

“Come and _get_ me? He wants us to _fight_ him?”

“Yeah, probably? Never know with that guy. Hell, though, and when fuckin' _Loki's_ got your back—ok, what now?”

Everyone had turned from looking at Bullseye to looking at Billy, who had gone completely white. The blue lightning around his hand flickered, and he said, slowly, “What's Loki got to do with this?”

“Princess converted, didn't you hear? Kissed that Discord fag on TV and everything. Where the hell _were_ you? It was all over the news.”

Billy's hand sparked. “If you're lying—”

“ _Jesus,_ kid. No, I'm not.” At this point Bullseye looked genuinely worried. “What's got _your_ panties in a bunch? You miss the memo where Loki's psycho? Just 'cause he's got a soft spot for _you—_ ”

Snarling, Billy raised his lightning-wreathed hand—

“Wiccan.” Kate's voice was sharp. “Stand down.”

“Yeah. Seriously, _hermano._ ” Jaime rested a hand on his shoulder. “Take a chill pill. We all know Quickdraw's uncle's a nut.”

Merlin made a face. “Loki is _not_ my uncle.”

Bullseye stared at Merlin bugeyed. “Your _uncle?_ Are you _Thor's_ kid?”

“He's _not_ my—no!”

“Bee.” Teddy wrapped an arm around Billy's waist, frowning. “Let him go. I don't think he really knows anything. Right, Hawkeye? Red?”

Tim and Kate nodded. One corner of Tim's mouth had twitched down in a frown. “Let him go, Wiccan.”

There was a tense moment, and then Billy's shoulders slumped and he leaned back against Teddy, looking downcast. The blue lashes that held Bullseye restrained disappeared, and the marksman hissed as he dropped the inch to the ground. “Thanks, kid, I'm gonna have a headache for a—”

“Wonder Girl?”

There was a thunderous snapping noise as Cassie Sandsmark cracked her knuckles. She grinned at Bullseye as Tommy mock-swooned in the background. “C'mon, Lester, let's go introduce you to some of my friends in law enforcement.”

“Oh, _fuck_ no—” He ran.

“Oh, good.” She waved to the others. “Be back soon.”

\--

They huddled around the computer, jostling for space as Tim and Kate went through the news clippings that Plex had compiled for them. Mostly it was headlines, with the occasional video footage—first of Doombots converging on cities and covering the countryside, then Doom making proclamations from his castle in Doomstadt. Reporters bemoaned the lack of the Avengers, the missing Fantastic Four, the disappearance of much of the X-Men from public hero work as they locked down in their attempts to protect mutant children. Then there was a lull where much of the news became suddenly more positive, as Doom's people took over the news sources and put their own spin on what got out. There was a simultaneous rise in strange underground news outlets, resistance cells of various kinds sending out _their_ news to the populace.

“Wow, did this start happening _right_ after we left?” Jackson frowned at the screen. “Weren't the Avengers supposed to be back really _soon_ after we headed out?”

“In theory.” Raven frowned darkly. “Something must have happened to them.”

Near the back of the group, Teddy had pulled Billy to one side, frowning. “Bee, are you all right? You got...you got _really_ upset out there.”

Billy's forehead creased with unhappiness. “I just...I know Loki's not _well,_ but he's not _psycho,_ not like Bullseye said, he wouldn't, he wouldn't just—”

The door banged open, and Cassie strode in, wiping her hands on her jeans. “Another job well- _whoa._ What are we watching? Lin, isn't that your uncle?”

“Loki is _not_ my—wait, holy crap, it _is_ my uncle. What's Uncle Bobby doing on a talk show?”

It was, indeed, a still image from the set of a popular morning talk show, the host beaming sunnily at Daken, who was perched on the edge of the couch with Discord lounging next to him in full costume, the horned silver circlet that was his badge of office shining against his multicolored mask. The headlines in the other open windows were all about the death of Doom and his killer's meteoric rise to power; the still shot was captioned, “Exclusive interview with world savior Daken Akihiro.” Tim frowned. “Plex, is there a video of this?”

Plex didn't respond.

Noh-Varr sighed. “Plex, answer his question.”

A pause, and then there was a faint chime and Plex said, _“Gladly, Noh-Varr. I have access to the archived footage of that show. Which part were you interested in watching?”_

Kate and Tim glanced at each other, and then Tim said, “The interview with Daken.”

No response.

“Plex...” Noh-Varr looked irritated. “If you don't start listening to my friends voluntarily then I'm going to reprogram you.”

_“I did not of course mean any—”_

“With a socket wrench.”

_“Of course, Noh-Varr. Loading video now.”_

The other windows minimized, and a video now took up the whole computer screen, leading in with an abrupt cut to an audience of cheering people as Daken came out onto the set and took a polite bow. The host covered the circumstances of his rise to prominence, which were strangely garbled—he talked about how Daken was now somehow ruling the entire world, having taken over the structures that Doom had put in place, but couldn't seem to explain how it had been allowed to happen. The audience ate it up, too, clapping and laughing as if a one-world government was all they'd ever wanted when barely a month earlier every news outlet that could had been screaming against Doom's.

_“Now, Mr. Akihiro—”_

_“Daken.”_ Daken smirked. _“Mr. Akihiro was...someone else.”_

 _“Aha.”_ The host laughed nervously. _“Well, then. Daken. You've come out very strongly against masked heroes and the superhero community in general. The late Victor von Doom saw them as a threat; what's your reason for continuing to specifically outlaw masked vigilantism?”_

 _“That's a big question.”_ A pleased laugh from the audience, possibly prompted. _“Honestly, it's all about trust. The people we call heroes aren't any more trustworthy or well-meaning than the ones we call villains; they just have better PR.”_

_“Really. Have you got any examples?”_

_“Well, take the original six Avengers. They're heroes, right?”_

_“Of course.”_

_“So let's count them off. You have Captain America, who's at least one hundred years old. We all have our favorite stories about seeing him on television or in the news, he's embarassingly out of touch with the modern world. The Hulk, who...well, I_ know _you've seen the footage, but I was_ in _Harlem, and I_ certainly _don't feel safe around him. Two trained killers—”_

_“Trained killers?”_

Daken chuckled. _“Oh, you didn't know? Hawkeye and Black Widow. They're assassins. Their records have been carefully wiped, true, but they're murderers through and through. And Tony Stark, well—Tony_ means _well, but do you want_ your _safety in the hands of an aging egotist with a guilt complex?”_

 _“I see.”_ The host looked disturbed now, and the audience members were murmuring to each other. _“And...Thor? What about him?”_

 _“Hm. Well, Ryan,_ I _don't know too much about Thor, but I have a friend who could_ certainly _tell you some stories.”_

_“A friend? Someone I would—”_

A faint chime, and then Discord simply appeared on the couch next to Daken, white-toothed smile gleaming in the set lights. _“Well, I don't know about you, Ryan, but_ I _wouldn't trust a violent, unpredictable bully who preys on the mentally ill.”_

On the screen, the host nearly fell off his chair and the audience exploded with startled shouts, and a number of the teen heroes gathered around the computer monitor hissed through their teeth. Gar blinked several times, rapidly. “I feel like that might need three snaps in a z formation. Wow. That's...that's sort of a harsh line to come in on. Steph, do you think we can have three snaps in a z formation?”

“Ssh, I'm listening.”

 _“...always happy to explain myself, Ryan. All I'm saying is, plenty of_ heroes _have mental illnesses. Look at Moon Knight, or the Scarlet Witch. Loki is a victim here, just as much as anyone is—a victim of institutionalized racism, bullying, and the misunderstandings of people who can't handle someone who thinks differently from them.”_ Discord's tone was entirely genial, and he sprawled on the couch as if he owned it. _“Loki_ likes _it here, Ryan. He_ loves _the Earth. But Thor's the one who doesn't want him to stay. And think about it, it's hardly the first time a big guy's started picking on people smaller than him. You should see_ his _kill count. He_ is _a god of war. And besides, who was running the underground news networks when Doom was in power? Thor? No, no, that was_ me. _As a service to Loki.”_

The host coughed, looking horrified, and said, _“Wow. That's...I'd never considered that. So are you saying that the Church of Loki supports Daken's continued ban on superhero activities?”_

Daken and Discord glanced at each other. Daken was smiling faintly, and he cocked his head flirtatiously at Discord, who winked at the host. _“I think you could say he has our full support.”_

When they kissed the audience erupted into cheers.

_“Wow. Well, ah, after the commercial break we'll be talking more with Daken about his planned policy changes and—”_

“That's enough, Plex.”

The video shut off. As one the group turned to Billy, who was white-faced again, still staring at the computer screen. Tim regarded him calmly. “Well, Billy? You're our expert on Discord. What do you think they're up to?”

“I...I don't know. That's, that's not like him, he wouldn't just...he wouldn't just _cheat_ like that.”

Kon frowned. “Don't you have his phone number? You could call him, see if he'll tell you what's up. Because that looked like some pretty serious stuff.”

“I...yeah.” Billy fumbled for his phone. “Yeah, I'll call him. I'm sure he'll...”

They all waited as Billy dialed and waited on the ringing line, Teddy with his hand on Billy's shoulder, Tommy also standing close by with an angry look on his face.

Billy frowned. “He's not picking—voicemail.” He put it on speakerphone, holding it out so everyone could hear.

A click, and then, _“Hey, kiddo.”_

M'gann looked surprised. “Isn't that what he calls—”

 _“I know it's you, because no one else has this number anymore. Sorry I missed you. Look, things are really busy right now, but I'll be in touch, ok? Working on something real big. Everything's going to be fine, though, we've got it all planned out. I'll catch you later.”_ A pause. _“And leave me a message, all right, kiddo? I worry about you.”_

The phone beeped, and Billy hung up without leaving a message, looking lost. “So...he's using Daken to take over the world. I don't know if Loki's even involved.”

There was a long pause, and then Kate nodded and said, “Right. So. The Avengers are underground, the Fantastic Four are missing, and we're dealing with magic. Let's go talk to Dr. Strange.”


	9. Diet Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doubts are sown as the Young Titans try to get a grip on how the world has changed, and the Avengers are irritating and paternal to them. As usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, this chapter took me a month and a half, I'm so sorry. I'll try to get the next one out sooner. -_-
> 
> Also, fair warning, there's a scene in this chapter that actually made me tear up when I wrote it.

“He can't come in.”

The whole team stared, and Teddy said, _“What?_ Why _not?”_

“He's a liability.” Dr. Strange wouldn't even open the door the whole way; the chain was still up. “Compromised. He can't come in unless he'll agree to have his magic constrained by the Shackles of Makko-Di.”

Billy frowned, confused. “Well...sure, if you feel it's necessary...”

“No.” Tim looked irritated. “We're a team, we do things together. If he can't come in without a compromise, then we'll all stay outside.”

Kate sighed. “We need information, Red.”

Dr. Strange didn't look happy about any part of the situation—he'd winced when he'd told them that he couldn't allow Billy in, and now his mouth was curved in a tired frown. “Will you children accept a _different_ compromise? Send in your representatives, and the _rest_ will remain outside.”

Kate and Tim glanced at each other, then at the others, and after a moment Kate said, “That's acceptable. Red and I will be out as soon as we can.” Once the door was closed behind them, though, she crossed her arms over her chest. “Ok, what the _hell_ was that about?”

“I assume you've learned already that Loki is heavily involved with what's happened in your absence?”

“At the very least his high priest is. That's actually one of the only things we know for certain.” Tim scratched at the back of his hood. “Discord controls the church. He could be acting without Loki's consent or knowledge.”

Kate shook her head as Dr. Strange said, “Discord _doesn't_ act without Loki. _He_ is the calm before the storm. The fact that they're using Wolverine's son as their catspaw just makes it more convoluted; I cannot determine their true motives. There are disturbances in the ether that I cannot read, and strange news in the spirit world, and I fear that they may be planning something far greater than world domination.” Dr. Strange stroked his beard, still looking unhappy. “You must understand that under the circumstances I cannot trust Billy Kaplan. He may be your friend, but he's also their student. He regards them fondly, and takes their instruction and advice. As such, he _and_ his magic may be...tainted.”

Kate seemed about to protest, but Tim put a hand on her wrist, frowning. “Hawkeye...he _was_ behaving oddly earlier. Particularly when Loki was mentioned. Has he always been so violent?”

“He—no. No, he hasn't. He gets a little out of hand in fights, I know you've seen, but it's never been that bad. Maybe because we've never really had to question anyone before.” She sighed. “You might be right, Doctor. Anyway, what can you tell us on the hero side of things?”

He took a deep breath. “Children, have you ever heard of the Infinity Gems?”

\--

When Kate and Tim emerged from the brownstone, their teammates looked up from where they'd been huddled on the sidewalk, and Kon said, “Well?”

“We need to go find the Avengers. Strange says they stole something for Loki a while ago, some kind of deal.” Kate's eyes flicked briefly to Billy, standing at the back of the crowd with Teddy's arm around his shoulders. “He hasn't been in touch with them recently, but someone broke into his house not long before they got back and used some of his equipment. Things are looking pretty bad.”

“They're at one of their safehouses, but he didn't know which one, he hasn't been able to get in touch with them in two weeks.” Tim hesitated. “Raven? Can you find them?”

Raven nodded. “With Billy's help. I don't know them well enough otherwise.”

“Good. Do that—where's Tommy?”

The others all looked startled—except for Bart, who just looked vaguely guilty. _He_ scratched the back of his head and said, “He. Um. Went to check on Pepper again? He said he wanted to see if she had any messages for Mr. Stark.”

“When was _this?_ ”

“Just now. But, y'know, quickly.”

Kate scowled. “I am going to _kill—_ ”

The oddly recognizable boom of an exploding stop sign rocked the streets of New York.

“—going to _kill_ him! Before he gets all of _us_ killed! Was that near the Tower?”

“Sounded like.” Cassie looked furious too.

“ _Shit._ Young Titans, move out! Wiccan, get us in the air!”

This flight was less leisurely than their initial entrance to the city—they zipped over the crowded streets now, towards the landmark that was Stark Tower. Bart had already disappeared ahead of them; none of them could match his speed, or his concern for his friend.

As they approached the tower, they heard police sirens.

And...jeering.

Tommy and Bart were backed against the wall near the front entrance of Stark Tower, and around them a crowd of passers-by were _booing_ them, faces nasty, voices raised.

“Criminal!”

“Public nuisance!”

“Just as bad as _they_ are!”

Billy and the others swooped down, Jaime catching Tommy's hand and Kate grabbing Bart's as they swung by and then rose rapidly out of earshot of the catcalling crowd.

Tommy brushed himself off, looking horrified. “She called the _cops_ on me! Pepper! Called the _cops!_ ”

“What?” Teddy frowned. “Pepper wouldn't do that, she's practically your mom.”

“Yeah, I _know._ I mean, she said she was _sorry,_ but she _also_ said that it was really the right thing to do and I'd understand later, once she'd had a chance to explain things. Like I haven't heard _that_ before.”

Noh-Varr's eyebrows had drawn down. “That makes no sense. Pepper has always been entirely supportive of our efforts.”

“Is it mind control? I bet it's mind control.” Merlin pulled his visor down, fingers twitching in a way that suggested he was flipping through his comics library. “Which is a problem, because I don't have a reference for Loki doing _anything_ like that. At least, not like this. I mean, he _tricks_ people, but not like this, he doesn't just...he's not a mind control guy, not really, I know there was that _one_ time here, but that was because.” He stopped. “Because of. Thanos. And the Infinity Gems. Um, did Dr. Strange say if Thanos was involved?”

“He didn't mention anyone like that to us.” They'd landed on a roof now, and Tim glanced over at where Raven and Billy had their heads together. “Have you two located the Avengers yet?”

Raven shook herself. “They are...scattered. Some in one place, others all over the world, others...missing. Some concentrated in the Great Lakes region, beneath Lake Superior.”

“Right, there's a safehouse there. Wiccan, get us going.”

Billy's eyes flashed blue and they were gone.

\-- 

Billy sagged against Teddy's side. “We're as close as I could get us. Something feels _really_ wrong here.”

Jackson had relaxed as soon as they materialized on the shore of the lake. “Feels like home to me. You guys want me to find the place, or does Raven know where we need to be at?”

They all turned to look at Raven, who swayed and stumbled against Victor. “I...Aqualad should find them, I can't...this world's magic is disturbed.”

“All right, then. Aqualad?”

“On it. Just let me...feel the water.” Jackson crouched and put a hand in the lake. “...yeah, I know where they are. Come on, this way.”

The door was hidden well, set in the side of a low hill, and cameras tucked into trees watched their approach. Before they could even _knock,_ the door opened, and _then,_ before they knew what was happening, Steve Rogers had rushed out and folded Teddy in a tight embrace. “Kids. Oh, kids, we're so glad you're ok.”

Teddy blinked and patted him on the shoulder. “We're...we're doing fine, Cap. Although everything seems to have gone kind of sideways. Can we...come inside?”

“Oh! Sure, of course, come in.”

“...Billy can come in too, right?”

“Why couldn't he?”

“Well, uh, Doctor Strange was really _weird_ at him earlier.”

“Oh, lord. Is he still going on about that? No, don't answer that, of course he is. Come on inside.”

The halls of the safehouse were eerily silent, especially for something supposedly in current use by such a large team. Even _Gar_ was frowning. “Where _is_ everyone?”

“Gone.” Steve's mouth was tight. “We've been doing what we can, but these supercharged Doombots are too strong. They hit Danvers with something last week, she's in a _coma._ And we don't know what Loki's done, but the public's on _his_ side somehow.”

“It's the _art_ , Steve, I told you, he's done some kind of subliminal—oh my god. Kids.” Tony Stark looked ragged as he stumbled out into the hallway. “You're all right. We thought you were gone.”

“We're back.” M'gann's eyes were shut; she was sweeping the area telepathically. “There are so few _people_ here. The captain said they were gone, where did they _go?_ ”

Kate said, “Where's Clint?” as Merlin said, simultaneously, “Where's my dad?”

“We...we don't know. He and Natasha were trying to infiltrate the government that Wolverine's kid got set up; we haven't heard from them in a month. Thor went to Asgard to see if he could get us backup and hasn't been back. Bruce is...somewhere. We've still got Diana and Zatanna—”

“Wonder Woman and _Zatanna?_ What are _they_ doing here?”

“They came with us to Olympus.”

“On your mission for Loki.” Tim looked intrigued. “What were you _doing_ for him?”

“Stealing a stupid hat.” Tony rolled his eyes. “Zeus' crown. Covered in stones, really tacky, Loki's got bad taste. I bet he doesn't even wear it, he just wanted it to mess with us. You guys had dinner yet?”

Tommy blinked. “Uh. No, we haven't. You cooking?”

“God no.”

“Ok, good, because I am _not_ in the mood to regrow my hair again—”

“Logan's cooking tonight.”

“Shit, _Wolverine's_ here?”

“He's been here for a while.” Steve frowned. “He makes surprisingly good empanadas.”

Tony scratched at the back of his neck and stifled a yawn. “Come on, kids, it's dinner time and then we'll have a war council.”

\--

Logan didn't eat with them—he spent the entirety of dinner in the kitchen, frying vast quantities of empanadas and drinking beer while the Young Titans sat around a long conference table with Steve, Tony, Diana, Zatanna, and Hank Pym. They picked at their food, trying desperately to make conversation as the adults coughed and shuffled and asked polite questions about their trip to the past. The only ones who seemed at all comfortable were Tony, who at least knew Teddy, Tommy, and Noh-Varr well, and Diana, who simply ignored the awkwardness and talked to the younger heroes like they were adults.

The man known as Wolverine only emerged once all the dishes had been cleared and it was time for the war council to begin. He slouched into the room and leaned against the wall next to the door, cigar in one hand and most recent beer in the other. When he caught Stephanie's eye he grinned. “Hey, Brownie, how's it going?”

She beamed and got up, moving over to stand next to him. “Brought you a present.” A package changed hands. “Cuban. Fresh from 1971.”

“Never made 'em better.”” He ruffled her hair. “Have a fun trip?”

“ _I_ think so. I _wanted_ to bring you back one of Magneto's fingers, but Merlin said he'd need them later.”

“ _That's_ my girl.”

Steve looked over at them and frowned. “Logan, are you getting the kids to bring you contraband again?”

Stephanie rolled her eyes. “He didn't _get_ me to do anything. They're a present.”

“And I might as well smoke 'em now that they're here, right?” A pause, and then Logan reached into his pocket and pulled out a box, which he passed over to her. “Snagged you some green tea Pocky.”

“Oh, you _sweetie._ ” She waved at her teammates. “See, I _told_ you he's not scary, he's just a big softie, he bought me Pocky.”

“Didn't _buy_ you nothin'. Turns out the newest leader of the Hand has a sweet tooth.” A contemplative moment. “ _Had,_ I guess.”

“Oh, _Logan,_ did you get in a ninja fight just so you could bring me candy?”

“Would it make you happy if I said yes?”

In response she simply butted her forehead against his arm, looking smug.

“Yeah, ok, sure. Got in a ninja fight just to bring you candy.” He ground out the last of his cigar on his arm, tossed the end into the nearest trash can, and then slid one of the ones Stephanie had brought him out of the package. “Bringin' you candy's my main goal in life, Brownie.”

“ _Now_ you're just being ridiculous.”

Steve coughed. “ _If_ we could get down to business. You kids have been away for a while, I suppose we should start by briefing you on what's been going on. How much do you know?”

“We've actually been briefed already.” Tim glanced over at Stephanie and Logan, suppressed a smile, and then was all business again. “Plex caught us up on news through the media outlets, and Dr. Strange gave us the rundown from the hero side of things. We're up to speed.”

“Ah.” Steve paused. “Is there anything you can tell _us?_ ”

“We did run into Bullseye.”

“ _Bullseye?_ Kate, has he been bothering you again?”

Kate leaned across the table and patted his hand. “It's nothing I can't handle.”

“Well, if he keeps harassing you, you let us know. Come straight to me.”

“I'll be fine, Captain.”

Steve sighed, but he didn't argue with her. “So tell us what happened.”

After that one interruption, the adults managed to sit quietly while the younger heroes went over the full details of their trip to the past, their return, and their encounters with Bullseye, Doctor Strange, and the hostility of the general public. At the mention of the incident with Pepper, Tony winced, shooting Tommy a sympathetic look.

They finished their recap of events, and Diana frowned. “So Daken wants you to come and find him? Why, I wonder?”

Teddy shrugged. “Maybe he thinks he's gotten in over his head? I mean, you guys haven't gotten to him yet; maybe he thinks we could.”

“Out of the question.”

Everyone looked at Tony, startled.

“Too dangerous.” Tony's mouth was tight at the corners. “We're not losing anyone else, especially not you kids. You're staying here, we'll figure out a way to deal with him.”

The protests began to bubble up from where the Young Titans sat.

“I agree with Tony.” Steve looked grave. “This is a threat on a level we haven't really dealt with before; I'm _not_ going to send you out there alone. We can't leave here right now, we're in touch with some people in the resistance movement, the ones who haven't been affected by Loki's mind control or whatever it is he's doing. But we're going to figure out something. In the mean time, you kids get to stay _here,_ out of danger.”

Kate started to her feet. “Captain, that is _not—_ ”

“This isn't up for discussion, Hawkeye. Briefing adjourned; we need to find you all rooms.”

They started getting up, the younger heroes still grumbling. Zatanna glanced over at Logan. “You're on second monitor duty, right, Logan?”

Logan nodded. “Yep. I'll be on that.” He patted Stephanie heavily on the shoulder. “Wanna drop by and bring me a beer later, Brownie? Does get thirsty, sitting up all hours a' the night watching those things.”

She opened her mouth to answer, looking annoyed, then seemed to think better of it and nodded slowly. “Sure, Logan. I'll stop by in a bit.”

\--

“So who's sleeping where tonight?” Bart was grinning. “I mean, if you two are going out now.”

Merlin turned bright red. “We're not going out yet!”

“You keep saying _yet._ ” Noh-Varr patted him on the shoulder. “This is very encouraging. Would you _like_ to share a room?”

“I. I, uh.” Merlin's mouth worked silently for a moment before he fell back on, “We're not going out yet.”

“How about you give him a night to think about it, Noh-Varr.” M'gann emerged from one of the rooms they'd been given with her eyebrows raised. “You're making him think very loudly, I'd like to be able to get some sleep.”

“I don't— _do_ I think loudly? I didn't _think_ I thought loudly.”

She shrugged. “Nobody does.”

A fizz in the air, and Tommy was leaning against the wall next to her, grinning. “So what'm I thinking right now?”

She paused, getting a thoughtful look on her face, and then suddenly giggled. “Tommy, you are _terrible._ ”

“Team.” Tim leaned out of the room he was sharing with Kon and shot them a meaningful look. “We should really all get some sleep if we're going to argue our case at more length tom—Steph, where are you going?”

Stephanie paused to kiss him on the cheek as she passed. “I promised Logan I'd bring him a beer.” 

\--

“So why are you still _here?_ ”

Logan looked up from the monitors and smiled faintly when he saw Stephanie leaning in the doorway, a can of beer in one hand. “Heya, Brownie. That for me?”

“Of _course_ it is, silly. _I_ think that stuff's nasty.” She passed it to him and perched on an empty spot on the console. “Shouldn't you be off looking for your son?”

“He don't listen to me, Brownie. I'm pretty much the last person in the world who'd be able t' do anything for him.” He pierced the top of the beer can with a claw. “Wish I _could._ Wish he'd let me _give_ it a shot.”

“Well, sometimes it's hard to talk to your dad.”

“...right, yeah, you'd know, wouldn't you? You're a good girl, Brownie. Got a good head on your shoulders.”

“And you're a good guy, Logan.”

“Sometimes I don't feel like it.”

“Well, sometimes you're pretty _bad_ at it.”

“Thanks, kid, real reassuring.”

“I'm a ray of sunshine.”

“That you are.”

She pulled her box of Pocky out of a pocket and held it out to him. “Want a piece?”

“No thanks, kid. Never could stand that fake green tea flavor. Nothing like the real stuff.”

“More for me, then.”

They sat quietly for a few minutes, Logan drinking his beer and Stephanie eating her Pocky. The monitors were fairly slow. Squirrels ran around in front of the outdoor security cameras. There wasn't anything interesting on the news.

Then all the news stations cut to footage of Daken making some kind of speech in front of a cheering crowd, Discord smiling indulgently at his shoulder, and Logan winced. “Always wondered where I went wrong there.”

Stephanie shrugged. “No changing it now, I guess.”

“Yeah, I guess not.” He frowned, then dug in his pocket and pulled out a small device, like the electronic key fob for a car. “Here.”

She frowned down at it in her palm. “What is it?”

“Homing beacon.”

“What did you want to home in on?”

“My son.” Logan stared sightlessly at the monitors. “The others ain't gonna let you kids out, but you're the ones who can find him. He _asked_ for you. I think he wants out.”

She followed his line of sight to the shots of applauding people, Daken smiling at the podium. “I don't know. He looks like he knows what he's doing.”

“Yeah, well, that Discord creep could talk anyone into _anything._ And Daken always _thinks_ he knows what he's doing. Doesn't mean he actually _does._ ” He closed her fingers over the homing beacon. “You find my boy, Brownie. Take your friends, raid the stores, get what you need, and go _tonight._ I won't stop you. And when you find him...well, most of our tech's been locked up in the city, we can't get to it, but you hit that button and I'll _get_ to you. I'll get there and I'll bring 'im home.”

“What if he doesn't want to come?” she said, even as she tucked the beacon into one of her pockets. “He's an adult, you can't make him do it.”

“I'll deal with that when I see him.” Logan paused. “And don't let yer little diet Loki talk you into anything. That boy's not to be trusted, I don't want him stabbing you in the back.”

“What, _Billy?_ ” Stephanie laughed. “Billy's a sweetheart. He wouldn't hurt a fly.”

“Yeah, well, I have my doubts. This whole thing's a mess that Loki made, and he's _way_ friendlier with Loki than _any_ of us would like.”

She stared at him for a moment, looking disturbed, and then nodded slowly and said, “Ok. I'll keep an eye on him.”

“That's my girl. Now hurry up, Brownie, before I realize what a stupid plan this is.”

She laughed again, and then leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead.

He blinked. “What was that for?”

“You're such a _dad,_ Logan. I'll see you later; I'm going to go wake the others up.”

“Yeah, that's me.” He turned back to the monitors as she hurried out, crumpling his beer can in one hand. “World's greatest dad.”

\--

“Hey, guys, wake up.”

Teddy blinked sleepily. “Whuh? Steph? Wassup?”

“Oh my _god,_ you two are _adorable._ ”

Billy groaned and rolled over into Teddy's side. “Wuzz goin' on.”

“Come on, help me wake everyone up. We're heading out tonight.”


	10. The Hunt Is On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Young Titans make their first couple of stops on the way to tracking down Loki, Discord, and Daken. Discoveries are made, and some harsh words are exchanged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god. It took so long. I'm sorry, YARBB ate my life and also I'm a terrible procrastinator. -_-

  Thanks to Pym tech they were able to outfit themselves fairly thoroughly. They had clean clothes, food, water, even, at Tim's insistence, climbing and camping gear. The alarm started to sound for a moment as they crept out the safehouse's emergency exit, but then it went silent—Logan watching out for them.

Once they were a safe distance from the door, everyone turned to look at Billy, and Bart said, “So where are we going?”

He blinked. “Why are you asking me?”

Victor rolled his eyes. “Because _you're_ the one who knows _Loki._ None of _us_ have been to his house.”

“Oh, right. We should probably—”

He stopped, suddenly. Cassie frowned. “What's wrong? You look like you want to throw up.”

“...is _that_ why Dr. Strange wouldn't let me in?” Billy's eyes were wide. “Because I know Loki?”

Nobody said anything.

“Tim? _Kate?_ Seriously, guys, I'd like to know if I'm considered a threat.”

Stephanie made a face. “Well, Logan doesn't trust you. But honestly, he doesn't trust _anyone,_ don't let him get you down.”

Kate sighed. “And neither does Dr. Strange.”

“Or Tony.” Victor shifted awkwardly.

Tim frowned. “I didn't know about Tony.”

Tommy elbowed his twin in the ribs. “Hey? Billy? Seriously, we've got three green people on this team already, we don't need another one. Stop looking like that.”

“The _Avengers_ think I'm a _threat._ ”

“You do kinda study with a supervillain, bro. _And_ you inherited the ability to _alter reality_ from our _mom._ It's not a big jump.”

“But I'm not—I wouldn't—”

“Dude. You have a second costume and a scary name to go with it.”

“It's not like I _use_ it! It's for my own protection!”

“You almost electrocuted Bullseye.”

“He deserved it!”

“Beating up on Bullseye is _my_ gig.” Kate folded her arms over her chest. “None of _us_ think you're dangerous. Chill out. Where are we going?”

“Well. Uh.” Billy swallowed hard. “Last time I saw them, last I knew, they were still living in Oxford, that's where the house was.”

The others nodded slowly. M'gann said, “They?”

“Loki and Simon. Discord. I mean, it's Loki's house, of course, but Simon lives with him. And I guess maybe Daken now too. You know Teddy and I _met_ him once?”

“You met Daken? Really?” Stephanie was the one speaking, but everyone else looked fascinated. “What's he like?”

“He hit on me. It was weird.”

“It's kind of his thing.” Merlin's voice was muffled; he'd pulled on a hoodie over his costume, and had retreated into the hood like it was a protective barrier. “Well, that and insane brutality. But yeah, he hits on everyone.”

“What do _you_ know about him? Anything in your collection?”

“More than I wish I knew.” Merlin's eyes shone pale blue in the darkness of his hood. “He frightens me. Are we going to Oxford?”

“Yes—no! No, wait, Simon has an apartment in New York. I have a key. We should go there first, maybe he...left me a note or something.”

“That much teleporting will be difficult, with the disturbances in the currents of things.” Raven had been staring at the moon, a frown curving the corners of her mouth. “Shall we combine our powers again?”

“Probably a good plan.”

Tim nodded. “All right. New York first—let's go!”

\--

“Whoa, what happened here?” Stephanie frowned at the interior of the apartment. “This looks like an investigative brainstorming session from an episode of CSI.”

The front room had almost no furniture, just a couch and one bookshelf in the corner, and the walls were papered with pages and panels clipped from comic books, connected together with strings in a variety of complicated webs. As the team crowded through the door, a faint gust of wind made the papers rustle, and everyone spread out to look at what had been put up.

Everyone except Raven and Billy, that is. They were unsteady and ashen-faced, and as soon as they'd gotten into the apartment they collapsed side by side on the couch. Teddy and Gar rushed over to them, Teddy looking frightened. “Billy!”

“I'm ok. I'm ok.” Billy was pale, sweat beading on his forehead.

“I am _not_ ok.” Raven was panting. “This is very wrong.”

“Do you want some water?” Gar was falling all over himself. “Where's my water bottle? Here, here, water.”

“What _is_ this?”

That was Cassie, voicing a sentiment that all the rest of the group seemed to be feeling as well. She was peering at one of the picture-webs on the wall—various heroes, webbed in and around by a thin line of green thread. Another green thread blocked off pictures of the Fantastic Four, various powerful mutants were outlined on another wall, and—

“Kate. Hey, Kate.” Kon looked disturbed. “Here's one of _your_ team.”

Sure enough, another wall had a prominent display of images of the Young Avengers. Oddly, they had a _red_ thread instead of green, and the box around them was neatly broken at the top by the picture of Billy.

Tommy frowned. “Why are _you_ at the top, bro? All the other things have the team _leaders_ at the top of them.

He reached for the thread—

_“Don't touch it!”_

Everyone jumped, turning to stare at Billy. Teddy blinked. “Babe?”

“It's a magical diagram,” Billy said hoarsely. “It could...do something if you touch it.”

“Well, you're the magic expert for this dimension.” Tim folded his arms across his chest. “What is it _for?_ ”

“I...I don't know. I don't do this kind of...process magic. Most of my stuff is pretty short-term. Simon does long-duration stuff, but he's never taught me any.”

Jackson, meanwhile, had wandered into the mostly-empty bedroom, and as everyone was considering what Billy had said, he called out, “Another one in here! On the floor this time!”

Tommy and Bart blurred in to join him, and after a pause, Bart hollered, “This one is different! Come look!”

Everyone piled into the next room, Billy leaning on Teddy and Raven on Stephanie and Gar.

They had to spread out around the edges of the room, this diagram was so big. This one mostly _didn't_ have pictures of heroes. Instead...the web was full of _art._ Ads torn from newspapers and magazines. Covers from books. Snapshots of runaway models and graffiti and paintings in MoMA.

“There's a pattern.” Vic crouched at the edge of the web, staring intently. “Repeated motifs, recurring colors, compositional similarities...all of these pieces are by the same person.”

“Or at least house of.” Tim looked fascinated despite himself.

Billy had gone from pale to green. “Some of those paintings are Simon's. I saw him _working_ on that one.”

“House of Discord.”

Noh-Varr had moved up next to Vic. “It's centered on pictures of your uncle and Loki, Merlin. And...that's Daken?”

“That's him.” Merlin shivered. “What's this thing supposed to _do?_ ”

“ _I_ could test it, I think.” M'gann looked puzzled. “It feels almost conscious.”

She stretched out a hand.

Everyone held their breath.

After a long pause, Tommy said, “Ok...so. This is taking _ages._ Are you _getting_ anything?”

“Not really.” She put her hand down.

Everyone relaxed visibly—

“But I don't see why we're all so worried. Loki can't be _that_ bad, can he? And Merlin's uncle has always seemed like a reasonable person. I'm sure that whatever they're planning is really for the best, right?”

“I...” Merlin had gone pop-eyed. “Um, M'gann? Are you...are you feeling ok?”

She smiled brightly. “Actually I feel _very_ well, knowing that the world's in good hands.”

A moment of pure silence, and then Jaime said, “ _Damn._ It's a _brainwashing_ thing.”

They all stared at M'gann, who said, “What?”

“Out out _out._ ” Kate snapped her fingers loudly. “Out of the room, away from _this_ thing, out of the _city,_ out of the _country_ maybe, come on, let's go, people.”

They had to pick M'gann up and _carry_ her out of the room.

 

–

 

When they got out of the city, non-flyers piggybacking on the flying team members, everyone sat down in the grass. M'gann was still protesting vaguely, but as they were setting down she blinked. “I...what have I been _saying?_ ”

“A lot of stuff that's basically ridiculous.” Teddy patted her on the shoulder. “Don't worry about it.”

Merlin had shrunk down, it seemed, his face disappearing in the shadows cast by his hood. “It was Uncle Bobby's fault, anyway. Not really you.”

Tommy glanced at Billy. “Did _you_ know he could do that?”

“No.” Billy was shrinking, too, his cape pulled up around his face. “No, I didn't.” His eyes above the red fabric were miserable.

“Well, where to _now?_ ”

“England, I guess. That's where Loki's house is.”

–

 _That_ transport was so hard that even the _landing_ was rough; everyone stumbled as they materialized. Billy _fainted._

When he came to, his head was in Teddy's lap and he was looking up into the concerned faces of his teammates. He blinked muzzily. “What happened?”

Teddy reached down to brush a strand of hair away from his nose. “You passed out, babe.”

“I did?”

“ _Oh_ yeah. And Ray's puking her guts out.” Teddy gestured to the side, where Raven was retching into a bush while Merlin held her hair, Gar rubbed her back, and Cassie waited nearby with water. “Seriously, what's going on with that?”

Billy tried to sit up and groaned. “Teleporting's a _lot_ harder right now for some reason. It's like trying to swim through Jello. But times ten or something.”

“You think you can sit up if I prop you?”

“I _think_ so...everything _aches._ ”

“Here, come on, arm around me...and here. Now that you're sitting up you can have a granola bar.”

“Oh my god Tee you're a lifesaver.”

Billy slumped against his boyfriend and ate his granola bar, and was joined soon by Raven, who folded herself onto the ground, rested her head on his free shoulder, and took a snack when it was offered. “That was awful.”

“Yeah, seriously. You gonna be all right?”

“With time and rest. I have not had such an adverse reaction to a transit in some time.”

“Seriously. I ever tell you about how I threw up on Stonehenge the first time I teleported overseas?”

Most of the others had spread out, and before Raven could reply, Kate called, “Hey, Billy?”

He looked up. “Yeah?”

“I thought you said you were taking us to Loki's house.”

“I _did—_ ” He finally looked around properly, and his mouth snapped shut.

The house was gone.

They were definitely in the right spot—the other buildings nearby were familiar, and Teddy was leaning against a tree that Billy had picked apples from at least once. Simon's garden and carefully trimmed hedges were still there. But where Loki's enormous house had been there was a gap, an overgrown patch outlining where the foundations had once been.

“I...” He frowned. “It _should_ be here. I can _see_ where it's supposed to be. Where did it _go?_ ”

“Maybe he moved it.” Tim was on his knees at the edge of the house-shaped overgrowth, inspecting the ground. “He has enough power to do that, doesn't he? Especially now?”

“I _guess_ so. But _why?_ He _likes_ Oxford. So does Simon.”

“Not sure. Why don't _you_ tell _us?_ ”

“Why would I...”

Everyone turned to look at him.

Billy stared, and his eyes got very wide. He'd been pale after fainting, but now a blush started to crawl up his face. “You _do_ think I'm working for him.”

“Billy, that's not what I said—”

“It's what you were _thinking._ You think they brainwashed me! You think I'm crazy!”

“I don't—”

“Don't _lie_ to me!” Billy lurched to his feet, stumbled, regained his balance. “You're all acting like I'm a _bomb_ waiting to go off!”

Stephanie raised a hand slowly. “I hate to break it to you, Wiccan, but you _do_ kind of have the power to end the world.”

“That doesn't mean I _want_ to! I mean, what have I ever done to make you think that? Dr. _Strange_ doesn't like me and that suddenly makes me dangerous? All I ever did was get an _education—_ ”

_“You think Loki's nice.”_

Everyone, including Billy, jumped and moved as one to stare at Merlin.

Merlin _never_ shouted. But now he'd pulled his hood back, and his cheeks were flushed almost as red as his hair. “You got an education with _Loki,_ Billy. What made you think that was a good idea?”

Billy snorted. “He didn't give me much of a _choice_ about it—”

“The Avengers could have _protected_ you! He's not omnipotent! But _no,_ you went and made friends with my crazy uncle and then you _studied_ with _Loki._ You stayed in his _house._ You have my uncle's _private cell number._ ”

“Hey, Simon's not so—”

“You know he drove his ex crazy?” Merlin was huffing angrily. “Uncle Bobby, that is, not Loki. And _actually_ crazy. The guy lives in a _rest_ home now. Did you know Loki once threatened to kill one of my _mothers?_ Or that the first time he came here he mind-whammied my _dad_ and got him to kill people? I mean, you do actually know he's a supervillain, right? He's _actually_ a murder. He's killed a lot of people. Hundreds. Maybe thousands. Just because he likes you doesn't mean he's not _fucking crazy._ ”

“Well, _yeah!_ He's _crazy!_ But he's never been _anything_ but good to me, maybe if more people tried to _talk_ to him—”

“If more people tried to talk to him he'd still be a murderer!” Merlin took a deep breath. He was _shaking._ “Being crazy doesn't give him a free pass on being a terrible person!”

“I never said that!”

“That's what you're _acting_ like.”

“So you _do_ think I'm brainwashed!”

“Maybe you are, maybe you _aren't,_ I don't fucking _know._ But maybe if you stopped _pretending_ and being _surprised_ that Loki and my uncle do awful things that don't make sense—because they're _supervillains_ , they do awful things that don't make sense—then it'd be easier for us to think that maybe you've got your head to yourself!”

Merlin fell silent, and he and Billy stared at one another, red-faced and out of breath, Billy scowling darkly.

Then there was a resounding, echoing _crack_ , and they both flinched, startled.

Kon had clapped—quite loudly. “Look, obviously we're not going anywhere right now.”

“Why not, let's go, let's go fucking _find Loki—_ ”

“Look, Billy, sit your ass down before you pass out again. You're not in any shape to do more magic tonight. Neither is Raven. Is this place safe?”

Billy blinked, looking a little confused. “Uh...yeah. There are a ton of wards on it, Loki doesn't like unexpected guests. _We_ could only get here because I...have a bypass for them...”

“All right then. Good. Then we can camp here.”

“We can...what?”

Tim and Kate had had their heads together for a couple of minutes, and Kate now looked up. “We need sleep. We got tents from the supplies at the safe house, and we have plenty of food. We're going to sit down, we'll have a snack, sit around a campfire for a little bit like a cute Scouting troop, and then we're all going to go to bed and get some rest and we can talk about all _this_ in the morning.”

“But—”

Tim shook his head. “Nope. Executive decision, me and Kate. Let's start getting tents set up. And you two can stay away from each other for now. If we need to have another shouting match, we'll do it tomorrow.”

 

–

The Pymtech tents took minimal set-up—it was all just hit the button, drop the capsule, and back off—so they had a campsite in the foundations of Loki's house in under ten minutes. Another ten minutes to distribute sleeping bags, and then Stephanie got a campfire going in what had been a small Zen garden and said, “All right. Cheer-up time. Who wants hot dogs or a suitable vegetarian equivalent?”

Mostly there was a chorus of agreement; dinner at the Avengers safe house hadn't been _that_ long ago, but they'd already done enough running around that everyone was hungry again. It could have been easily argued that some members of the team were _always_ hungry, actually. They gathered around the campfire, shivering against the unexpectedly chilly night—or rather, early morning, as they had jumped several time zones.

The only ones who didn't look at least a little relieved to be taking a break were Merlin and Billy. Billy had wrapped himself entirely in his cloak and refused to speak to _anyone_ ; he just leaned against Teddy's side, eating his hot dog in angry silence. Nobody even tried to make conversation after the first time he snapped at them; they were all feeling uneasy anyway, which wasn't helped by how exhausted everyone was.

Merlin, on the other hand, had pulled his knees up inside his hoodie and wrapped his arms around them. He sat staring into the fire, looking disturbed and sad, until Noh-Varr sat down next to him and put an arm around his shoulders—to which he said, “What are you doing?”

“I'm providing comfort.”

“I don't...I don't need _comfort._ ”

“You seem distressed. And _as_ your boyfriend—”

“You're not my _boyfriend,_ I didn't say we were going _out._ ” Merlin shook Noh-Varr's arm off and got to his feet, stalking off.

Some of the others stared, and after a moment Kate got up and went after him. He'd taken shelter under one of the larger trees, and he was staring angrily at the ground.

“Merlin.”

He looked up. “Go away, Kate.”

“Nope.”

“I don't want to talk to anyone right now.”

“Tough shit, I'm invoking team leader privilege. What's eating you? Is it just the argument with Billy?”

Merlin looked away for a moment, and then said, “A lot of this would be easier to deal with if my _uncle_ wasn't involved. If it wasn't all down to a relative of mine. Like, Clint's told you about Barney, right?”

She rolled her eyes. “The brother in prison. The murderer. Yep.”

“Yeah. I mean. He's my _uncle._ Uncle Bobby, that is, not Barney. Although I guess Barney is _also_ my uncle. Why are all of my uncles psycho? I mean except Uncle Ant—”

“Merlin. Babbling.”

“Sorry, sorry. But I mean. He's family. _Mom_ loves him. And it's nice sometimes when he visits, but it's just like...he's a _supervillain._ That _matters._ He's been a supervillain for as long as I can remember, and it's like Billy just hasn't _noticed._ And now everything's all messed up and weird and the world might end or something and it's my uncle's fault.”

“What about Loki?”

Merlin's eyes went dark. “Loki's worse.”

Kate looked at him, and then reached out and grabbed his shoulders, pulling him in so that their foreheads were pressed together. “But it's not your fault.”

“...no. No, I guess not.”

They stood there for a moment, and then the corner of Kate's mouth twitched, and she said, “So. On to other things. Do you need me to kick Noh-Varr's ass for you?”

Merlin made a choking sound. _“What?”_

“Noh-Varr. He's been coming on kinda strong. Is he making you uncomfortable? Do you need me to make him back off?”

“You'd...you'd _do_ that?”

“Of _course,_ moron. I care about you. You're the frustrating, reckless, perpetually horny little brother I never wanted but got anyway. Is there some potentially-world-conquering Kree ass I need to be kicking?”

“Um...wow. Thanks.” Merlin blushed. “But also no. Thank you, please don't kick Noh-Varr's ass. I actually do like him.”

Kate frowned. “Then why give him such a hard time?”

He glanced to the side. “I didn't want him to think I was easy?”

“You didn't want him to...Merlin, you practically fall out of your pants whenever anyone _smiles_ at you. You're easy. Go with it. Nothing to be ashamed of. Anyway, maybe dating someone will be good for you.”

“You...you won't think less of me?”

“I don't think much of you to begin with, little brother, so I can't really think _less._ ”

“Ouch.” Merlin's mouth twitched. “Your burn, it's the sickest.”

She snorted. “Lin, you slept with the captain of the Shi'ar Imperial Guard. And I gotta be me. Now go grab Noh-Varr's ass or something, it _is_ definitely worth a squeeze.”

He grinned. “Aye, aye, captain.”

“And if he's _really_ weird in bed the girls and I expect details.”

“Oh my god stop helping me.”

“Pictures, too.”

“No!”

They dissolved in helpless laughter for a moment.

When Merlin had his breath back, he said, “So now that you've given _me_ sagely relationship advice...are you going to ask Jackson out or what? You two have been eying each other for like three months now.”

Kate turned bright red.

They wandered back over to the group, hesitated at the edge of the campfire's light, and then split up. Kate went to sit down next to Jackson; Merlin returned to where he'd been sitting before. Noh-Varr was still there, and glanced at him as he sat down. When he leaned against Noh-Varr's side, though, the Kree blinked. “So I _am_ your boyfriend?”

“Nope, not yet. Start thinking about where we're going to dinner.”

Noh-Varr's brow crinkled. “Pardon me?”

“We're going on a date. You're buying me dinner. Essential step to beginning the dating process.”

“Ah, right, yes. I'm familiar with this custom. I buy you dinner and then we have sex, yes?”

Several of their nearby teammates stifled startled giggles, and Merlin made a choking noise. “Don't say it like _that_ or I'll start thinking you don't _respect_ me.”

Noh-Varr raised an eyebrow. “I _don't_ respect you.”

 _“Start.”_ And Merlin rested his head comfortably on Noh-Varr's shoulder and shut his eyes, smiling.

Now it was Noh-Varr's turn to make the odd noise. “I'll...I'll try.” He lifted his arm, flicked Merlin's ear affectionately, and settled it around the smaller boy's shoulders.

Across the campfire, Jackson was staring at the ground and playing with his dreads, a tiny smile on his face, and Kate was looking pleased. “Hey, Merlin, want to make that a double date?”

“It's like watching a soap opera,” Kon said to Teddy. “Only with tights.”

“The Young and the Super,” Billy muttered quietly, clearly trying not to smile. “Days of Our Super-Lives. All My Crimefighters.”

Noh-Varr blinked. “A double...”

“Sounds good.” Merlin didn't even open his eyes.

“Good. We'll get Caribbean, there's a new place in Tribeca I've been meaning to try. And I'll cover everything, none of you guys have any money.”

M'gann passed Noh-Varr a hot dog. “You should see your _face._ ”

Noh-Varr looked bewildered. “I may have miscalculated. I need to update my notes.”


	11. A Royal Audience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Young Titans reach Loki and his cohorts. Billy in particular has a difficult confrontation ahead of him.

“For what it's worth, babe, _I_ don't think Loki and Simon brainwashed you.”

Jaime had woken before most of the others, emerging from his tent and squinting in the early afternoon sun. One of the apple trees in the overgrown garden was bearing, so he'd climbed it, after cleaning his teeth over the reflecting pond—nothing like a fresh apple at breakfast. Before he could descend, though, Billy and Teddy had come out to sit by the dead fire, and Jaime wasn't an eavesdropper by _nature,_ but...well, he got curious.

“I don't know if you count in this argument, Tee.” Billy smiled weakly at him. “You're my boyfriend. You're _supposed_ to think I'm a good guy.”

“True, true.” Teddy leaned over and kissed Billy on the nose. “But it's more than that. I don't think they'd want to do something like that. Loki _or_ Simon.”

“Why not? They're bad guys. Merlin was pretty serious about that.”

“Loki loves you. He wouldn't do that do you.”

Billy blinked. “Loki doesn't _love_ me. He's my _teacher._ That'd be... _eew._ ”

“Not like _that_ , you doof. He cares about you. You know he threatened me once?”

“ _What?_ When was this? _Why?_ ”

“Remember when they took us to dinner? You'd gone to the bathroom, Simon had stepped out...Loki said you were...I forget his exact words, but he basically said that you were really great. That he was happy to be your teacher.” Teddy paused. “And that he'd destroy me if I ever broke your heart.”

Billy stared. “ _Loki_ said that? About _me?_ But that's...that's like something a _dad_ would say. Not a teacher.”

“Well, _does_ he have any kids?”

“A few. But they're not really close. Even the ones that _aren't_ crazy don't talk to him much.”

“Well. There you go.”

Jaime gathered a few more apples and climbed quietly down the far side of the tree before approaching his friends. “Hey, guys. Apples?”

Billy looked up with a start and then grinned at him. “Sure, thanks. I love the apples that grow here.”

–

Not long after that, the others started to wake up properly, and a restarted fire meant a big mid-day breakfast for everyone. Merlin and Billy seemed to be getting along again, at least enough to sit together and talk about comics.

Until, that is, Tim said, “So we still don't know where we're going,” and everyone turned to look at Billy again.

He shifted nervously. “I guess...Doomstadt. Daken killed Doctor Doom, maybe they moved into his castle. I can. Uh. Get us to the throne room there, as long as we can get inside.”

“Can't you and Raven just _land_ us inside?”

“No. Doom's wards are almost as strong as Loki's, and I don't have a pass for them. Plus he _also_ has tech.”

M'gann raised a hand. “If need be, Vic and I can disable his electronic systems.”

Kate nodded. “Good. Ray, are you feeling well enough today to help Billy move us?”

Raven smiled weakly. “I think so, although I can't promise that I won't be sick again.”

“We can deal with that if it happens, although of course I hope it doesn't.”

Tommy grinned. “Want me and Bart to go on ahead and scout?”

Kate raised an eyebrow. “You just want to get out of camp cleanup.”

“Well, _obviously._ But I _also_ want to kick Loki's ass.”

“Fine. You and Bart go take a look.”

The two speedsters high-fived and disappeared.

Camp was broken down fairly quickly, given the number of telekines and magic-users around, not to mention the people with super-strength. Even clearing out the fireplace was easy with Jackson's hydrokinesis. And when everything was packed, Raven turned to Billy and said, “Lead the way, my friend.”

“Right. Right.” He took a deep breath. “We can't land within fifty yards of the castle, that's how far beyond the outer wall the wards go. And we don't just want to land in the middle of the city square. But...there's a landing stage near the city gates, a secluded one. We could go there.”

Teddy frowned. “How do you know about it?”

“I've...been there before. Loki brought me.”

“For a lesson?”

“To have dinner with Doctor Doom.” Billy shivered. “I almost hope he's _not_ there. But come on.” He reached for Raven and Teddy's hands. “Let's go.”

–

Neither of the magic-users collapsed this time, or threw up, though they did sway on their feet a bit. Raven looked startled. “That was so _easy._ Something must be wrong.”

“I don't know...maybe the way here's been cleared for Simon's use?” Billy sniffed at the air. “There's magic around here that tastes like his. And Loki's. This is the place.”

Gar made a face. _“Tastes?”_

“What? Magic has flavors. Lemme call Tommy—”

Kate already had her phone out. “Too slow, Billy-boy.”

Tommy and Bart appeared seconds later. Bart's hair was standing on end, and he was _smoking_ slightly. “The castle wall _shocked_ me when I tried to go through it.”

“I _told_ you not to stick your head through it, dummy.” Tommy rolled his eyes. “Doom's a _nut._ ”

“Anyway, they're definitely here. Loki and Discord redressed the Doombots, they're Loki-bots now, but there aren't too many of them so I think we're good to go.”

Raven took a step, wobbled, and smiled gratefully when Kon scooped her up to carry piggyback. Teddy gave Billy a considering look. “Want a ride?”

Stephanie clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle a giggle.

Billy blushed. “I think I'll be ok. I have to guide us, anyway.”

“You know,” Jackson said, “I don't remember as many piggyback rides happening before we started hanging out with you.”

“It's a grand Young Avengers tradition.” Merlin ducked away from Kate's headlock, grinning. “Which I know, because I know _everything._ ”

Tim was smiling, but he still made a little huffing noise. “We should head out. If we have to fight I'd like us to be ready.”

“We know, Red.” Kate flashed him a tense smile. “We're just getting psyched up. Last time we fought Doom we lost someone; even with the man himself dead, seeing his robots isn't going to be any fun. And there is Billy to consider.”

Billy went from blushing to pale, but he squared his shoulders anyway. “I'll be fine. And Cassie's the last person who'd want us to put off saving the world.”

“Glad you feel that way. Young Avengers, assemble. Noh, carry Merlin, we don't want him falling behind if he needs to access his database mid-fight.”

Tim adjusted his cowl. “Titans, together.”

Cass rolled her neck. “Time for a fight.”

People scurried out of their way as they walked through the city to the castle. Nobody seemed _frightened,_ but they did look _cowed,_ probably the result of living for years under Doom's rule and then going through a rapid regime change. The bots patrolling the streets ignored them.

“Don't get too comfortable,” Kate said softly. “We'll have to fight our way into the castle.”

As the approached the castle gates the Loki-bots on guard stepped forward. Everyone began to assume ready stances, only half aware that they were doing it.

“Get ready...”

The Loki-bots watched them with motionless faces—

—and approached Billy. “Billy Kaplan.”

Billy froze. “Yes?”

“Welcome to the house of Loki. You are expected.”

“...I am?”

“Of course. You are the student of Loki.” The Loki-bot gestured to the rest of the team. “Shall we dispose of these others?”

“No! No, they're...they're with me.”

“Understood. Enter, Billy Kaplan and guests.”

They entered the castle, and Kate muttered, “So what the hell was _that?_ ”

“I...don't know.”

The halls were not completely empty, but they were quiet, disturbed only by a few wandering functionaries and bots on patrol. Each bot paused at their approach, scrutinized Billy, and then continued on.

And finally, “We're here. This is the throne room.”

They walked up to the door.

“— _weary,_ beloved. Our goal is in sight, but the hunt _exhausts_ me.” Loki's voice.

“You look all right to me.” Simon, in affectionate tones. “Well, I mean, you _always_ look good to me, but—”

“It is a weariness of the soul, beloved. But you are a great comfort to me.”

And then a purring tenor. _Daken._ “I have to say, _I'm_ quite pleased with how things have turned out.”

“Of course you are, little claw. Have I not given you the gift I promised? The world is yours to command.” A pleased chuckle. “And a pretty king you make.”

“No king,” said Daken. “I think 'prince' suits me better.”

“Very well, then. Prince of all the world.”

“You should rest.” Simon again. “You've only got two to go, you can afford to relax.”

“Perhaps you're right, beloved.”

“Well, we can't stand here all day.” Kate pushed open the doors of the throne room and strode through, her friends and teammates following behind her.

The tableau: Loki sat on the throne in full regalia. He did not wear his helmet; in its place was a horned crown, with colored stones, presumably the Infinity Gems, embedded in the horns. There were dark circles under his eyes. Simon was perched on one of the throne's arms, his hair pulled back, bent over Loki with a solicitous expression on his face. Daken lounged on the steps at Loki's feet, one of Loki's hands in his hair—like a faithful hound, if the hound had secrets.

At the sound of the door opening, all three looked up. Loki's forehead wrinkled in a puzzled frown. “Billy...? When did you arrive? Why wasn't I informed?”

“You...weren't expecting us?”

Kon made a face. “You had to have expected _someone,_ man. You took over the world. When villains take over the world they sort of generally expect heroes to turn up.”

At _that_ Loki's eyes went hard. “Do not speak of what you do not comprehend, alien child. What I have done here is far greater and more vital than simple world domination, and I do it for the safety of me and mine.”

Tim extended his staff. “Care to explain that?”

Loki paused, and then looked up at Simon and said, softly, “Go get me water, beloved. I thirst.”

Simon frowned. “Loki, I won't just—”

“The boy and I must talk. We will almost certainly argue. It would make you sad.” His eyes closed for a moment. “With all that's happening, I could not also bear your sorrow. And I thirst. Please.”

“All right, if you say so.” Simon looked dubious, but he _did_ get up, waving to the team as he headed for the door. “Hey, kiddo. Hey, other kids. Hey, wizard—nice ride, by the way, are you two together?”

Merlin turned bright red and said, _“No,”_ just as Noh-Varr was saying, “Yes.”

“I _like_ him! He's authoritarian, he'll be good for you.”

“Oh my _god,_ Uncle Bobby, shut up.”

“Suit yourself, wizard, but I know a good idea when I see one.”

“Hardly,” Merlin muttered against the back of Noh-Varr's neck as Simon left the room.

The door shut with a hollow thump, and Loki leaned forward on his throne. One hand remained in Daken's hair; with the other he gestured wide, taking in the whole room, perhaps the whole world, with one sweep. “Tell me what you think I'm doing.”

“You stole—” Tim began.

“I would like to hear it from Billy. He is my student. He knows my mind.”

The others pushed Billy forward. He coughed. “I. Uh. You're collecting the Infinity Gems. You got the Avengers to steal one for you, because you knew that the time dilation effect on Olympus would keep them out of the way while you collected others.”

“Correct. Continue.”

“You...you set up Doom to take over, so that you could make Daken look like a hero.”

Daken's lip curled.

“And you and Simon used magic to make everyone think you were the good guys, and to keep the heroes weak and out of the way, and to make it difficult for people besides you to travel around easily. And to... _protect_ me?”

Loki nodded.

“Why _me?_ ”

“Perhaps you should ask my nephew.”

“I am _not_ your—” Merlin blinked. “Wait, why should he ask _me?_ _I_ don't know why you do things. I don't know why you do _anything._ ”

“You _should._ I suspect _you_ know more about me than _I_ do. You know more about every _one_ of me than I do. What _have_ you told these children of their fate?”

There was a sudden, tense silence. Merlin said, slowly, “We've agreed that it's probably better if we don't talk about it unless it's an emergency. Their lives are so _different_ from the comics, I don't know what would and wouldn't be relevant. I wouldn't want to get anyone hurt.”

“So you do not warn them of their torments?”

Eyes began to turn toward Merlin. Vic frowned. “ _What_ torments?”

“ _His_ world is the center of the Multiverse.” Loki pointed to Merlin. “All that exists is a series of fictions in the minds of its inhabitants. They give us our faces. They give us our names and set our lives in motion. And they treat us like playthings, to be danced about as they will. _This_ world has escaped from more concerted interference due to the influence of my priest, my nephew, and his mothers; _yours_ ,” to Vic and the other Titans, “only because it was abandoned when they moved on to other iterations. But I see their influence more each day, watching events play out here that were earlier told of in the comics they write. And they do nothing but destroy.”

Merlin went red-faced. “That's not _true!_ ”

 _“They killed me!”_ Loki's shout echoed through the throne room. “They killed me, and remade me as a jesting, ill-tempered child, and I have _felt_ the urge to set in motion the events that would lead to it. The little claw here has been murdered and resurrected more times than _I_ can recall, been made stupid, been rendered helpless, been mocked and tortured and degraded. And _you,_ Billy Kaplan—” His face was twisted—with rage or anguish, they couldn't tell. “Your suffering is their entertainment. You are given gifts only so that they can be ripped from you. They threaten your friends and family, they call you villain, they drive you _mad—_ ”

Billy was white and shaking. “So _what?_ Were you just planning to take over the world to _protect_ it? Because bad things _might_ happen? That's how life works! Bad things could always happen!”

“It is unacceptable.” Loki slumped back into his throne. “They would have me as the architect of your woes, boy. This world was only a step. I will take over _their_ world.”

Merlin let out a horrified squeak.

“To protect myself and what I love. To protect _you._ ”

Billy gaped, stumbling back. It almost looked like he'd been struck. “ _Me?_ But. Were you planning on telling _me_ about this plan? Like, _any_ time soon? I mean, if you're making decisions about _my future_ I think I have the right to _know._ ”

“I had _hoped_ to discuss it with you when my position was more secure.” Now Loki's distress was quite clear. “It would be good for you, boy. For us. I had hoped you would _join_ me.”

“To rule the universe as father and son?”

Teddy's sarcastic murmur clearly had not been intended to carry very far past the ears of those closest to him, but the acoustics of the columned hall made it echo, and Loki's back stiffened as he growled, _“Yes.”_

The other young heroes stared, baffled, as Billy said, incredulously, “But I'm _not._ You're not my father. I'm not your son. I _have_ parents.”

“And you were so desperate, so _aching_ for different ones that you hunted and searched and broke countless laws and classified information restrictions to demand the kinship of woman who you had never even met and who barely recognized you when she first saw you. All the Scarlet Witch ever gave you were a few talents and the remnants of her face. _I_ have kept and housed you, _I_ have given you the clothes off my back and the food off my table. I have given you my knowledge and my affection _,_ as has my priest. In all but name you are my child, and even then, I have named you previously. You have born a title, a name of my choosing.”

Billy could say nothing. His mouth was shut tight.

“I...I can make nothing, Billy Kaplan. But now, now...the power is mine. You _could_ be my son, mine and Simon's. In name and in heritage, as in education, we would be family.” Loki's voice was rough, he looked now furious and miserable. “And you would be safe, as would I.”

Now, finally, Billy said, “And what about my friends?”

“They are welcome, if only it would make you happy. Your brother, your lover, your comrades in arms. They will have places of high esteem in the world under my rule. My honor guard. And their fates will also be assured.”

“...and what if I say no? That I don't _want_ to join you?”

“That would be...regrettable.”

At the look on Loki's face Billy's eyes narrowed. “But you'd do it anyway. You'd _brainwash_ me.”

“For your own safety.”

“What gives _you_ the right to decide what's good for _me?_ ”

Loki started from his throne with a roar of, _“You are my son!”_

Billy's mouth snapped shut. He stared.

“And I...” The sudden uncertainty in Loki's voice was almost as frightening as his rage. His eyebrows drew down in an anxious frown. “And I...have become my father.”

“I...what?”

“You...you should go, boy. You, your friends, all of you go. Leave me. I have...” Loki looked almost confused, still tinted faintly blue with a giant's rage, mouth uncertain of how to move. “I have much thinking to do.”

Billy said, softly, “Loki. I'm not really sure what you're saying to me, but we're not going. You've put plans in motion here that we have to stop.”

“My plans may be changing. Not much, not all, but somewhat. This conversation has raised some questions I must consider.”

He stepped toward Billy and then, suddenly, stopped. When he opened his mouth a trickle of _blood_ ran from it.

As Loki had moved forward, Daken had leapt to his feet, unsheathed his claws, and _stabbed_ him.

Everyone started toward the two villains, shouting, and then froze as the air _cracked_. The noise was terrible, an ear-tearing, unearthly sound of agony and dismay.

Loki slid off Daken's claws to the ground, and the sound intensified.

Simon was screaming. He stood at the door, carrying nothing—he had clearly waited there to listen—and...no. He did not stand. He _floated,_ his tattoos incandescent, multicolored light surrounding him like an oil-slick halo. Beautiful, but in a way that made the bottom drop from one's stomach, nauseous with the dizzying chaos. His scream was overlaid with a jangling disharmony. A discord.

He stopped screaming and raised a hand, and Loki's fallen form was encased in a color-shifting magical shell. Then he looked at Daken, and spoke in a voice layered with conflicting tones. _“You betrayed us.”_

Daken smiled. _Sweetly._ The air was suddenly thick with an animal scent that made several of the Young Titans blush. “Simon. Don't be like that.” His voice had a coaxing note. “He'll heal. You know he was putting us in danger. I did what had to be done.”

 _“_ _You brought the children here to distract us.”_ The corner of Simon's mouth twitched. _“I suppose you and I both made the mistake of thinking the other one could be controlled. Clever dog.”_

Daken's back stiffened, and Billy said, “Simon—”

 _“Simon says stay_ put, _kiddo.”_ And the team suddenly found themselves frozen in place in the middle of their subtle creep forward. _“I'll deal with_ you _in a minute. First I have a very expensive show dog to scold.”_

Daken snarled. “Like _you_ have the power to do _anything_ to me without Loki to back you.”

 _“You'd be surprised.”_ Simon rolled his neck. _“I'm going to tear you to pieces.”_ He smiled mirthlessly, and the young heroes shuddered—it was _not_ the pleasant grin they'd seen before, there was nothing in it that looked like the joking criminal they were all familiar with.

When Loki had fallen, he had lost his crown, and it lay on the floor next to him, covered by the same magical forcefield. that enclosed his shallowly breathing form. One of the gems, however, a shining purple thing, had been knocked from its setting, and was unprotected as a result. As Daken backed slowly away he reached for the crown, withdrew his hand from the forcefield as if it had been stung, and then snatched the purple gem from where it had fallen. “I don't intend to let you. I've waited patiently for my victory; I can wait a little longer.”

With a jerk Stephanie broke free from Simon's binding and dove forward, wrapping her arms around Daken's waist.

And they both vanished.

Tim yelled, shocked, “Batgirl!” and jolted forward as the binding was broken for the rest of them. “Discord! Where did they go?”

 _“Haven't the faintest, kid.”_ Simon shrugged. _“He could have taken them anywhere, the Space Gem doesn't really have limits.”_ He glided over to Loki's side and crouched, running his fingertips gently over the god's almost-sleeping face. _“I'll take care of the rest of this, hot stuff.”_

“Simon.” Billy swallowed hard. “Or. Uh. ...Bobby?”

Simon's eyes narrowed. _“You don't get to use that name, kiddo. That's a name for family.”_ He stood up again. _“I think we need to talk.”_


	12. Discord

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some reckonings are more painful than others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's pretty short. But I felt that it needed to stand on its own.

  “Discord.” Kate's voice was steady, though her hands shook. “Give us the Infinity Gems.”

_“I don't think so.”_

“Give them to us or we'll _take_ them from you.”

 _“I'm not really interested in talking to you right now, Kate.”_ He straightened his shirt collar, and the tattoos on his hands spiraled and reshaped themselves. _“Billy, however...kiddo, I'm disappointed in you. Loki never should have sent me out of the room.”_

“Simon, _don't._ ”

“Billy—”

“Teddy, I. I can _do_ this. Look, Simon, you...you don't _need_ the Gems. You're _not_ a bad guy, you can give them to us and it'll all be fine.”

 _“I'm not?”_ Simon's laughter made the heroes wince. _“_ I _never said I wasn't a bad guy, kiddo. Pretty sure that's just what_ you _decided. And I'm certainly not going to give up, not after all my hard work.”_

“But you won't have Loki. Those stab wounds are going to take _ages_ to heal, even for him.”

 _“I don't need him to finish this.”_ At Billy's confused look, Simon smirked. _“Did you think I got_ all _my magic from him?”_

“You _told_ me that!”

 _“_ _I lied.”_ Simon shrugged. _“Loki's always been my sun. But that doesn't mean I'm only his moon. Getting the last Gems will be_ tough, _sure, but I'll get it done.”_

“We're not going to let that happen.”

_“Cute, kiddo. Try to stop me.”_

The first blast roiled from Simon's hands in a cloud that looked like spray paint, discoloring the floor as it passed. They shouted, diving out of the way.

_“I'm sick of playing it quiet, anyway. Sick of encouraging you all to underestimate me.”_

“Discord, you're not well.” Jaime was hovering above Kate's head, covering her as she nocked an arrow. “You gotta take a _breath,_ man.”

 _“You think_ I'm _the crazy one?”_ Simon cartwheeled out of the way of Kate's arrow and then dodged Merlin's dart and Noh-Varr's blaster shots in rapid succession. _“Hardly, kid. All I am is a man in love. But you're what, fifteen? Maybe you don't know about that yet.”_ Gar leaped at him in a whirl of fangs and claws, and was sent flying into the wall with a flick of Simon's hand. _“No, I'm not crazy. I'm just very upset.”_

Cass and Teddy converged on him, while Bart and Tommy penned him into an ever-tightening circle.

He burst free. _“I'm a god, kids. It's not that easy.”_

“You are no god,” from Raven as he ducked under her blast. “You're just a priest with delusions of grandeur.”

 _“Wrong. I have followers. I have worshipers. I'm not of this world, and people swear by my name. They pray to_ me. _That's all it takes.”_

And they fought, and fought, and in murmurs and breathless shouts the Young Avengers let their friends know that _this_ time, Discord _was_ different. They'd fought him before, but they'd never seen him _angry._ The bright lightshows and painted creatures that he always used to fight were _vicious_ now. He was a tornado of teeth and heat and headache-inducing color.

Billy simply stood there, rooted to the spot, shaking.

“Come on, babe.” Teddy backed up close to him. “Please.”

“I. I just.”

_“He's surprised that after all this time I really did turn out to be a villain.”_

“Simon, please stop.”

_“We only had your best interests at heart, kiddo. We love you.”_

“Wiccan!” Jackson went tumbling past him. “We could use some help here!”

“ _Please_ stop. Simon, I don't _want_ this.”

 _“I'm not here to do what you_ want, _kiddo. We're just trying to take care of ourselves, and you.”_

“Simon, don't—”

 _“Kiddo, I hate to say this, but it's not up for discussion. You really don't know what's best for you.”_ Simon swung in the air, came down behind Tommy. _“You and your brother will be princes. No more fighting. No more villains.”_ Ducked Vic's punch. _“You'll be happy with us. You'll be safe. The world's a terrible place, kiddo. Trust me. I know.”_

The air in the room started to glow in a dizzying rainbow.

_“_ _Wouldn't it be nice to know that everyone you love is safe?”_

And—his friends were slowing down. They were _blinking,_ as if in bright light, relaxing from their combat stances. They were starting to smile, the same kind of bemused smile Billy had seen on M'gann's face when she'd touched the brainwashing web.

Simon was reaching for the crown.

“Simon. Simon!” Billy fought the urge to smile himself, bit his lip on the desire to tell Simon that sure, that sounded great. “I—I don't— _IwantyoutostopIwantyoutostopIwantyoutostop—”_

_“Kiddo, we taught you better than to—”_

The wave went out of Billy like a rolling blackout of magic. Simon's constructs fell and disappeared. The glow in the air faded, as did the eerie smiles on the faces of his friends.

The spell hit Simon and Loki, and—Simon's _tattoos_ went still and shrank away, leaving his arms bare. And the color drained from his hair and eyes, the nimbus of light surrounding him winked out, leaving behind simply a boyishly handsome man in his late thirties, mousy brown hair falling into eyes an indistinct shade of brown. Not intimidating at all.

Oddly enough, the first thing that Billy thought was, _He's taller than I remember. I guess he only looks short when he's standing next to Loki._

Simon laughed, startled, and the echo was gone from his voice. Next to his feet the shield around Loki flickered and died.

Billy said, “Simon...”

“That's a neat trick, kiddo.” Simon grinned weakly. “Did Loki teach you that one?”

And then his knees buckled, and he collapsed across Loki's legs.

Across the room, Gar had his arm around Raven, and she was shaking almost too hard to stand up. “Billy, what was it that you just _did?_ ”

“I just...I wanted him to stop using magic. So I turned it off.”

Cass was shivering, too, and she looked _pissed._ “Kaplan, if you ever shut me off like that again I'll cave your face in.”

“He was brainwashing you! The big hypnosis! The full mind-whammy!”

“...wait, really?”

There was a little breathless chuckle from the floor, and they all looked down in time to see Loki smile faintly as Simon murmured, “They're good kids.” Then, even as Kon was lunging forward to grab them, they both vanished.

“Everyone keeps _doing_ that today,” Tommy muttered irritably. “Nobody stays the fuck down.”

They'd left the crown behind, though. It still lay on the ground, its three remaining Gems—“Time, Mind, Reality,” Merlin said from his perch on Noh-Varr's back—twinkling enticingly.

Billy looked at it and considered picking it up. It felt like _it_ was looking at _him._ He could feel it like a ghost on his shoulders, like an echo. The terrible, dizzying weight of Loki's affection, and Simon's discordant divine voice. _Wouldn't it be nice to know that everyone you love is safe?_

He thought about Cassie, and wondered if Merlin knew how many more of his friends were going to die.

The Gems twinkled.

He didn't want them. But they _wanted_ him to want them.

Then, Tim said, “Wiccan,” and Kate and Raven said, “Billy?” and Teddy put a hand on his shoulder and said, quietly, “Hey, babe.”

The tension broke a second later, when M'gann levitated Loki's crown off the floor and held it floating next to her shoulder. “I'll take care of this.”

Bart raised a hand. “I could go hide it.”

“I don't think that's quite safe enough.”

“We need to find Stephanie.” Jackson raked a hand through his dreadlocks. “Right, Tim? Kate?”

“Right,” the team leaders said together, and as Teddy wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, Kate continued with, “Let's go find our girl and Wolverine's asshole son. And if he's hurt her I'll rip him a new one _personally._ ”


	13. Daddy Issues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team fights Daken, and the end of the tale draws nigh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning: there's a fairly gross thing that happens during the main fight scene. If you're likely to be upset or unsettled by a reference to eye trauma, please be warned (it was difficult for me to write, honestly).

They landed unsteady, tripped, rolled, and wrestled for the upper hand. It wasn't a good match; she was tired, he was unprepared. But in the end, old age and treachery won out over youth and skill, and Stephanie found herself pinned facedown, with Daken kneeling on her shoulders.

He snarled—an _actual_ snarl, an animal noise full of deathly potency—and wrenched her head back. “Who are you?”

She grinned, breathless. “Hi, Daken, I'm Batgirl. Weather's nice today, isn't it?”

“Oh, good. Someone _chatty._ ” He didn't sound pleased. “Why did you follow me? Who sent you?”

“Maybe I sent myself.”

“I can _smell_ you lying. Who sent you to kill me? Osborn? Romulus?”

She rolled her eyes. “ _Wow,_ guy. You're a little paranoid.”

“ _Tell_ me—”

“Your dad was _worried_ about you, asshole. He thought you were in trouble.”

A pause, and then the pressure on her shoulders lightened as Daken climbed off her. “Get up.”

She rolled over and up onto her feet, shaking her arms out—and then crossed her eyes to look at the claws pointed at her face. “You don't really believe in measuring twice, do you?”

“Don't be an idiot. I did my measuring _long_ before we got here.”

“I almost like you for that, nobody ever plays along with me when I do the banter thing at home. Half the time they just stare at me. But _anyway,_ your dad sent me, like I said. He thought you needed help, and he couldn't get out of the safehouse without the other Avengers following him and making a mess.”

Daken scoffed. “ _Logan_ thought _I_ was in trouble? So he sent _you?_ You're what, twelve? Not that it'd be _unlike_ him to send a middle schooler to do his dirty work.”

“Excuse _me,_ grandpa, I'm eighteen years old, and I'm perfectly capable of deciding for myself what missions I'm willing to take on. I don't do _anyone's_ dirty work.”

He stared at her. “You can't be eighteen. How do children keep getting smaller?”

“I don't know, man, I'm not ancient and rickety like you.”

“You're extraordinarily annoying.”

“It's a talent.” She saluted him mockingly with the end of her staff. “So _are_ you in trouble? I'm gonna be honest here, Loki seems kind of out of your weight class. I mean, I bet the sex was fantastic, but otherwise it doesn't seem like you thought things through too well.”

“I had a plan. I got what I wanted.”

“Doesn't seem like it to me.”

“Obviously you don't know me very well.”

“Lucky break for me.” She paused, and then reached out past his unsheathed claws to put a hand on his wrist. “Look. I know from shitty dads. I...I don't think he wants you to forgive him. I think he just wants the chance to apologize. He's just kind of a moron.”

“I'm not interested in his apologies.” Daken rolled his neck with a crackle, and in his other hand the Space Gem glittered. The glitter caught both their eyes, and Stephanie could see his pupils expand. “I have other things to deal with now.”

She took a deep breath. _Hopefully someone gets here soon._ The homing beacon Logan had given her was letting out its silent shriek in her pocket. Her team could track her. _I'd hate to die again for nothing._

She curled her soft touch on his wrist into a grab, twisted, and lunged.

–

“Most of the interference is gone.” Raven was staring into the middle distance, lips pursed. “Moving should be easier. But there's a. There's something else. There's a vastness. And it feels...purple?”

Kate recoiled slightly. “The Purple Man?”

“The Space Gem.” Merlin had gotten down from Noh-Varr's back, and was staring at the crown in its slow orbit around M'gann's head. “That's the one Daken took.”

“Ah.” Raven nodded. “Billy? I have a location, can I show it to you?”

Billy nodded, though he didn't speak. He had a dull, closed-off look on his face, and he kept glancing back at the bloodstained spot where Loki and Discord had been as if he expected them to reappear.

“Billy.” Raven took his hand. “Stephanie and Daken are _here._ Do you recognize the place?”

A faint smile, just for a moment. “I've always wanted to go to Madripoor.”

Teddy reached over and pulled him in close. “Well, now's your chance.”

–

A homing alarm had started blaring for no reason that the others could determine. Klaxons going off, lights flashing, until Jennifer roared, “Are we under attack or _what?_ ”

And then, suddenly, it was as though a pressure lifted from their shoulders.

There was a shout from the infirmary, followed by Bruce leaning into the hallway. “Carol's awake!”

And then Diana—“Logan, what are you _doing?_ ”

“Suiting up.” He'd already gotten his costume mostly on, and was fighting with his cowl. “Batgirl's found my boy.”

“Wait, _you_ let the kids out?”

“No time, Di.” Now he was at one of the consoles, scowling. “Madri—that little _bastard._ ”

“Where are you _going?_ ”

“To help them.”

“Logan, they're always telling me you a maniac, but you are an _absolute maniac_ and—”

“Back in a bit.”

“Steve is going to _kill_ you. And then _I'm_ going to take a turn. And that teleporter hasn't been functioning—oh, you're not listening.” She seized the back of his collar instead, scowling. “And _anyway—_ well. So when did it start working again?”

“Just now. Figure they took out Loki. You coming with?”

She grinned at him. “Well, I'm not letting you go _alone._ ”

–

The team materialized stumbling over each other, in a warm room filled with a heady scent. Vic knocked on a cask, looking puzzled. “Are we in a _bar?_ ”

Merlin blinked. “This is the _Princess,_ I bet!”

“The...Princess?”

“Wolverine runs it.”

“Wolverine runs a bar?”

“I know, right?”

Then they heard grunting, a struggle, and then _there was Stephanie's voice,_ “Look, jacko, say uncle or I'll pickle you.”

And Daken sounding offended. “This is good brandy, you don't pickle things in brandy.”

“Wanna _try_ me?”

“You're a philistine. A tiny blonde philistine.”

“I'm a _Bat,_ jackass. I can be whatever I want.”

More struggle, and a _crash,_ and the team ran out just in time to see Stephanie flying face-first into a massive wine cask.

She stumbled to her feet with a plaintive, “Ow...hey, guys! Just in time! Wanna help me fold this guy up real small?”

Tim blinked. “That's sillier than you normally go for.”

“I might have a concussion!” She grinned crookedly as a trickle of blood ran down from her nose.

“Oh good. More children.” Daken looked disgusted. “I _loathe_ children.”

 _That_ snapped Billy out of his dull-eyed funk long enough to say, indignantly, “ _You_ called _me!_ ”

“To distract _Loki,_ you juvenile charlatan, not because _I_ want anything to do with you.”

“This is _your_ fault!”

“That you found out those two were 'bad guys'? Don't be stupid.” Daken scowled. “Look, I don't really have time to _chat._ But if you like I can show you what Loki gave _me_ before I go.”

The wrist claws didn't go _snikt,_ they came out low, a drawn-out _shaaakt_ of metal, and the air _rippled._ Light glinted off sharpened edges.

“From the heart of a star to the forges of Asgard, and from there to me.” Daken grinned, manic, one hand still fisted around the Space Gem. His eyes were bloodshot now, and the room suddenly stank of metal and ozone. “Nicest present a date's ever given me.”

“So you _stabbed_ him?”

“Of course. Can't let him spread that kind of thing around.” He raised a hand and sliced through a nearby wine cask like it was nothing. “Now. Children like games, yes? Let's play a game called Give Me The Gems Or I Skin You.”

“Give you the...” Kate looked over at M'gann and almost choked. “You _brought_ the _crown?_ ”

“Well, I couldn't just _leave_ it there! What was I _supposed_ to do?”

Daken dove at them, and the world warped around his claws.

“Wouldn't work,” Billy shouted, rolling out of the way and almost coming up tangled in his cape. “The Gems _want_ to be found. They'd just call someone else. I can _feel_ it.”

“I might keep you,” Daken hissed, swiping at his ankles. “At least until you've taught me how they work. You'll be marginally more tolerable without your hands, I think.”

Jackson was tucked between two casks of wine, scowling as the wood shook under the force of his hydrokinesis. “What kind of One Ring bullshit is _that?_ ”

“Less One Ring, more Silmarils.” With every attack he and his friends dodged, Billy became more and more animated. “They're not malicious, they're just bored.”

Teddy punched, missed, put his fist through the side of a cask of brandy, and said to Billy, “Marry me.”

“Wait, _really?_ ”

Cass scowled as she dodged, Daken's slice parting her from an inch of hair. “Guys! Focus! Fight now, romance later!”

Tommy grinned. “Can I romance _you_ later?”

“I will _gag_ you!”

“Ooh. Promise?”

Daken spat. “I _really_ loathe children.” His claws pulled in the dim light like black holes. “Gutting you all will be very enjoyable.”

A dart sprouted from his thigh, and from a sheltered perched on top of a rack, Merlin said, “You're just bitter because you're not the boss here.”

The corner of Daken's mouth twitched up in a smirk. “I meant to ask, since when do kid sidekicks get their own kid sidekicks?”

Merlin turned bright red. “You are _such a douche._ I don't get why my mom thinks you're hot.”

“She sounds like a woman with good taste. Maybe after I've killed you all I'll go visit her. Your spine would make an excellent host gift.”

Merlin went _purple._ He raised his dart gun.

“You _stay—_ ” _swik_ “ _away—_ ” _swik_ “from my _mothers._ ”

_Slash, slash—“Kuso!”_

“Fuck you, snikt brat, have fun regrowing your _eye!_ ”

Tommy came to a full stop. “Holy _fuck,_ Quickdraw.”

“I'm gonna throw up now.”

“ _That's_ the guy I know.”

Blood streamed down Daken's face, and it _glowed,_ his eye reforming around the dart. He lunged.

Kon. _Kon_ screamed, a claw deep in his shoulder, Tim going pale behind him as he tried to throw a bola around Daken's feet.

Stephanie was swaying on her feet, but shook it off long enough to snatch an arrow from Kate's quiver. “Hulkling! Pitch me!”

“One Fastball Special, coming right up!” He scooped her up and threw her.

She landed on Daken's back with a thump, stabbed the arrow deep into the meat of his shoulder. He spat and swore, and his hand spasmed, the Space Gem dropping momentarily from his grip.

Billy snatched it up with a whip of blue power. “Meg! Catch!”

M'gann raised a hand, grabbed the oncoming gem with her telekinesis, and pressed it back onto its spot on the crown. Daken _roared_ with fury, barely human anymore, covered in blood, his wrist claws _vibrating_ so hard as to make the air hum.

There was a flash at the back of the cellar, and an answering roar, and Logan came flying out from between two barrels and tackled his son to the ground. They rolled, snarling like animals, and as Daken raised a claw to strike his father a golden lasso whipped out and wrapped around his arm.

Diana waved to them. “Hey, kids. You've done some good work here today.”

Teddy blinked. “You're not mad at us?”

“No. Should I be? Are the others here normally angry at you for doing the work of heroes?”

“Well, Cap gets kind of annoyed with us sometimes.”

There was a sickening wet sound, and everyone looked over to see Daken pinned facedown, growling, Logan kneeling on his back with his claws through Daken's shoulders. “Kid, you are _grounded._ ”

“Oh, _haha,_ ” Daken said into the floor. “ _Very_   clever.”

–

They had to make several trips to get everyone back to the base, since the teleporter could only move up to five passengers at a time, and Billy and Raven were too exhausted to do more then curl up in the arms of the people carrying them. Diana and Daken came last, Daken wrapped in the lasso and at this point barely conscious. Several of the Young Titans were rushed to the infirmary immediately upon their arrival.

Teddy found himself, as soon as he appeared, confronted by Carol Danvers, who was wearing a bathrobe over her costume and who looked...irritated. She put a hand on her hip. “Altman. _What_ have I told you.”

“Um. I don't know, ma'am. What _have_ you told me?”

“You're supposed to _call_ me before running off and getting in fights that look like fun.”

He relaxed suddenly, hugging her hard. “They said you were in a _coma._ ”

“Well, I woke up.” She grinned at him. “I see you're still obnoxiously tall.”

Behind them, there was a loud dual shout of _“Dad!”_ and “ _Clint,_ where the hell _were_ you?” before Clint was tackled to the ground by Kate and Merlin together.

He laughed, looking bemused. “I was. Uh. Brainwashed? In Cairo. Ask Tasha, she was with me, we just sort of...woke up an hour ago.”

Natasha waved to them, smiling thinly. “Good job, kids. You didn't get killed.”

And just when things were getting quiet again, there was a _bang,_ and the Fantastic Four appeared just outside the base entrance. Reed and Sue were arguing quietly, Sue balancing their little girl on one hip. Franklin was perched on Ben's shoulder.

Johnny said, “Hey. Hey, guys, we're back.”

“We are?” Reed looked up and blinked. “Goodness. We _are._ When did that happen?”

Vic, Tim, and Jaime all lit up at the sight of him. “Dr. Richards! You're ok!”

Johnny looked faintly offended. “Why, of all of us, is _he_ the one who has fans in another universe?”

Stephanie wiggled her eyebrows at him. “ _I'm_ glad you're back, Johnny.”

“Batgirl!” Diana frowned. “ _You_ have a concussion and are supposed to be in the infirmary.”

“Yes, ma'am.”

Sue handed the baby to Noh-Varr, who accepted her with a puzzled look on his face. “What do you want me to do with her?”

She adjusted his grip. “Just hold onto her for a moment, dear, my arms are tired. Captain Rogers! Any explanation you can give us as to what just happened? Also, how long have we been away?”

“Long story, Dr. Richards.” Steve wiped his brow, looking simultaneously anxious and relieved. “I think we all need to get inside.”

–

The briefing room was crowded beyond belief. Besides the Avengers who _had_ been at the base, the Fantastic Four, and all the Young Titans who weren't in the infirmary, other heroes kept arriving, having suddenly resurfaced from spell-bindings or woken from brainwashing or simply reappeared in the middle of lonely Nebraska fields, still in costume and confused as to where they'd been. Billy and M'gann had places of honor at the head of the conference table, on either side of Steve, the crown with the Infinity Gems sitting in front of M'gann's folded hands. Billy was barely even awake; he just leaned on Teddy's shoulder, trying to keep his eyes open.

Merlin was sitting in between Clint and Natasha, leaning on his father. “I shot a guy, Dad. Right in the eye.”

“I heard that, wizard.”

“It was really gross, and then I wanted to throw up. You said you threw up after your first mission thing. Do you ever stop wanting to throw up?”

“You can if you want to, Merlin. I did.” Natasha put an arm around him, not smiling. “But I don't think you want to be like that.”

“He did really well.” Kate was on Clint's other side, wrapping a bandage around a cut on her wrist. “We were all proud.”

“Good to hear, Katie.” Clint paused. “Ok, so, I had a text on my phone when I woke up. Wizard, are you dating that alien kid?” He gestured vaguely at Noh-Varr, who was still holding the infant Valeria and looking down at her with a quiet, thoughtful expression. “He seems kinda...weird.”

Merlin grinned and then stifled an exhausted yawn. “He's good weird. I like his weird.”

Steve stood up, and slowly everyone else in the room stopped talking.

“It's good to see you all alive and well.” He smiled, just a bit. “And I have to say, we have the younger members of our group to thank for that. The Young Avengers and the Teen Titans have saved the day when none of us were able to, and we all owe them our thanks.”

The older heroes began to applaud. Kate and Tim leaned across the table and fistbumped.

“Now, we can't, of course, guarantee that Loki and Discord are gone, but they'll be lying low for a while, and their hold on the global consciousness has been pretty effectively broken. And we _do_ have Daken in custody; we'll be figuring out what to do with _him_ after this meeting.”

Logan frowned. “I wanna try to talk to him.”

“We will, among other things, be discussing _whether_ _that can happen,_ Logan.” Steve shot him an irritated look. “What we need to consider first is the question of the Infinity Gems.”

Everyone started to talk again, with Bruce's voice cutting softly through the chatter. “We destroy them.”

“Not possible.” Dr. Strange was wrapped in his cloak in one corner of the room, glowering. “The Gems predate this universe. They cannot be destroyed without doing irreparable damage to all that exists.”

“Ok, so one option eliminated. Can we split them up permanently? Put them in places where no one can get to them?”

Before Dr. Strange could answer again Billy was already talking, his voice sleepy and muffled. “No. I told Kate and them about it before. They want...they want to be found. They want company. They're lonely. But you can...” he stifled a yawn, “you can give them to people. If they have people to be with they'll _yearn_ less.”

Dr. Strange frowned. “I suppose you want one of them, Wiccan?”

“I don't want anything to do with them.” Billy burrowed closer into the circle of Teddy's arm. “You didn't see Loki's face. Or Daken's. They made him crazy.”

“He was _already_ insane, child.”

“Not like that. Look, I don't really want to talk about it.”

Steve reached over and put a hand on Billy's shoulder, squeezing gently. “Understood. In that case, Avengers, we'll need to plan out who takes which stone. We'll need guardians.”

Tony drained his cup of coffee. “It'll be cool. We can be the Infinity Club or something. Have a secret handshake.”

“But the important thing is that the fighting's over. And everyone is safe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just the epilogue to go and we're done, folks! Whoo!


	14. Epilogue: Missed Calls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We tie up a few loose ends.

_“_ _Hey, kiddo.”_

Billy held the phone to his ear in a loose grip, one leg hanging down from the window seat as he stared out at the New York skyline.

 _“I figured I'd keep this number active for a couple of months, in case you were worried about us. Which would be understandable.”_ Simon's lilting voice crackled a little bit in the recording—the signal was great here, but Billy's phone was old. _“I'm fine. Loki's_ going _to be fine, but he'll be recovering for a while yet. Daken messed him up pretty badly. Little shit.”_ A little twist of bitterness. _“So. We'll be fine. But...don't try to find us. We've moved the house again. I've resigned my job. And we've changed the wards.”_ A pause, and then, _“Good bye, kiddo. Billy. It was nice while it lasted.”_

The call clicked off. He put down the phone.

“Hey, guy. It's almost time for a big team dinner, you should come eat.”

“Teddy, I'm not in the mood.”

He heard a warm laugh, and looked up with some surprise. Zatanna smiled at him. “I don't sound _that_ much like him, do I?”

He felt his cheeks go warm. “No, Ms. Zatara.”

“You can call me Zatanna, sweetie. Ms. Zatara's only what I get called on talk shows. Can I sit?”

“Um. Sure.”

She sat down next to him on the window seat. “So do you want to talk?”

He turned his head back towards the window. “What's there to talk about? I fucked up. I got involved with bad guys and everything went to shit. Like always.”

“That's not what I heard.”

He didn't look at her. “What'd you hear?”

“I heard you did what you had to do, from the beginning. Sure, Teddy said you called Discord and talked to him the first time, but he's made an art out of convincing people to do what he wants them to do. And Loki teaching you...was it really an offer? Did he ever give you the chance to tell him no?”

“...not really. He just sort of...told me that it was happening. I mean I guess I _could_ have told him no, I _should_ have told him no—”

“But it would have made him angry. And it's not safe to have Loki angry at you.” She leaned forward and gripped his shoulders. “You did what you had to do in the situation you were put in, Billy. You're not responsible for the emotions other people project onto you, and you're not a bad person for liking people who were kind to you.”

“Dr. Strange thinks Loki _influenced_ me.”

“Stephen Strange is an asshole, and he's jealous because you never asked _him_ to teach you. Not that he ever _offered._ ” She grinned. “Not telling you this to get your _mind_ off things, I know that doesn't really work, but...maybe what you could use is some new perspectives on magic. You've had the one teacher—two, I guess—for everything. Maybe if you learn from someone new it'll help.”

“But _who?_ Dr. Strange _hates_ me, Brother Voodoo's magic doesn't work like mine, and Wanda can barely handle _talking_ to me without panicking.”

“Hey. Hey, Billy. Look at me.”

He looked over at her, and smiled weakly at her smile. “So what's your idea?”

“Come visit me sometime, I'll do you a tour of how the other magical half lives. Introduce you to my ex. _He's_ a demon specialist, he can tell you some messed up stuff.” She tapped his nose. “I could use a lovely assistant for a little while. What do you say? Wanna pick up a summer job?”

Billy stared at her. The thought _was_ enticing. “...can I think about it?”

“Of _course._ Take as much time as you need. Now come on, leave the phone. You need to eat something.”

They got off the window seat, and Billy paused. “Um. One other thing that was bothering me. What about what Loki...told me? About what happens to me in the comics? I mean, apparently Merlin knew _Cassie_ was going to die.”

“Far as I can tell, hon, those comics are only accurate half of the time. Merlin knew Cassie _might_ die, but he couldn't have told you how. You just have to take things as they come.”

“That's a horrible thought.”

“Isn't it?” she said cheerfully. “It makes life exciting. Plus we're superheroes. We all come back eventually.”

When they got into the dining room, everyone cheered. Teddy pulled out the free chair on his right, and Billy slid into it, blushing faintly at everyone's attention, and blushing _more_ when Stephanie leaned forward and said, “ _So._ When's the wedding?”

–

Dinner was interrupted halfway through by the intercom screeching, and then the voice of the Stark Tower secretary. _“_ _Um. Mr. Stark? Avengers? There's. Um. A ship landing in front of the tower.”_

Tony frowned. “What kind of ship? Kree? Skrull? Fuck, it's not the Badoon, is it?”

_“Uh...sailing. And it's not really landing, it's more sort of...crashing.”_

There was a pause, and then everyone scrambled for their costumes just as the tower was shaken slightly by the thunderous _boom_ of the apparent _falling sailing ship_ hitting it.

The express elevator took them down at a sickening rate, and opened to reveal Susan, the secretary, staring up in shock at two massive men armored in the style of ancient Greek warriors. One of them, who was also wrapped in a lion skin, was saying to her in a booming voice, “We seek the human warriors who stole our father's crown!”

The other man punched him in the ear. “You have _no_ idea how to do this. You're not _yelling_ loud enough.”

Steve stared at them for a moment and then said, “Hercules?”

Both men whipped around. Hercules grinned massively. “Steve Rogers of Earth! We have found you at last!” He dove for them. “Have at you, foul thief!”

At the back of the crowd, Billy stared wide-eyed. “Oh my god, _this_ isn't my fault, is it?”

Natasha patted him on the shoulder. “Nope. This one's _all_ us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this has been one hell of a trip--more difficult to write than many of my other stories, for a variety of reasons, and thus in many ways more valuable to me. Thank you, everyone, for sticking with me to the end. It is much appreciated.
> 
> ...not to say that there won't be any kind of "next time" for the Multiverse, but I think I need to take a breather and write some shorts before the Next Big Thing. ^_^

**Author's Note:**

> My usual statement always stands: if you like the story, please let me know! ^_^ I'm always happy to hear from people, and to answer questions. If you have a _really_ detailed question (like, about continuity or characters you're unfamiliar with or something), you can also find me [on Tumblr](dangerouscommiesubversive.tumblr.com), where I will happily talk your ear off! (I'm very friendly, I promise.)


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